how do I get my 5 yr old and 9yr old to keep their rooms clean?

Question

it seems like an impossible task to have their rooms clean from day to day, I don't know how to make them take pride in what they have. I have set the example by keeping everything in my home clean, and put away..you know the old saying "everything has its place....." am I being to harsh, am I expecting too much of them?

Answer 1

With discipline and punishment

Answer 2

I have three children 5, 4, and 2 and even the 2 year old helps clean. Mind you it is not the best. I think you have to decide what is important to you. For example. if it is a drawer I am happy. I don't care if it is piled in or not. When I was a kid my mother would tear out the inside of our drawers because they were cluttered. For us, it the kids put things in the spot they belong we are happy, that doesn't mean it is stacked perfectly. I would try encouraging them with a star chart . For every so many stars they could earn something- an activity, prize, movie choice for movie night, money- whatever you feel is appropriate.

Try not to let is get emotional. Let your children know that they have choices and if they want to earn that " prize" they have to earn their stars.

Another tip, sometimes parents are too broad with instructions. Clean your room. That can be overwhlelming for a child. You could break it down for them so they could earn stars for eact action. Make your bed, put dirty clothes in laundry, put shoes away, stack up books etc. THis way it gives them more opportunites to earn stars and is not so overwhelming. Tell you what nothing gets them going by knowing they are only a few stars awayfrom earning their prize.

Answer 3

5 is a little young to be expected to clean a room properly, but he should be able to at least put his toys in a box and throw the bed covers over the bed. This one you probably need to be with and let him 'help' you as you clean it properly.
The 9 yr old is definitely old enough to do a decent, but not adult, job of clean up.
You might want to stay with each of them for quite some time showing them how you want the job done and praising freely when done correctly.
Don't forget negative reinforcement when the job is ignored or fouled up intentionally. No need to beat them, but a time away from tv, ipod, xbox, computer, etc. should be enough to 'get their attention'. Don't forget to explain, at first, why the punishment is being done. Later, as they continue to foul up or ignore the job (and they will. They are going to be testing their boundaries), have them explain to you why the punishment is being given.

ADDENDUM: One of the posters suggested that you use money as an incentive. This is a bad idea as they will get the notion that they should be paid to obey you. Been there too. It was quite a chore to have the first 2 unlearn that bad habit.

Answer 4

At 5 and 9 years old, children should start taking a little responsibilty for their own surroundings as in their rooms or play areas. A reward system works..if they consistently keep their rooms clean after a week....they can be rewarded by going somewhere special of their choosing or a special meal, toy, anything that they would be delighted with (and NOT given on a regular basis) You are not being harsh...but if you keep nagging (we all do it, so please do not take offense!) they will just tune you out....if they see that they will be rewarded for taking care of their rooms, they will develop good habits in other areas, also. But you must be consistent with the rules and they must be consistent with upholding them....consistency is the key. Good luck !

Answer 5

It's a little harsh, but it's not unreasonable. A clean room IS important.

Each night, have your kids race to see who can clean their room the quickest and most effectiently. If they clean their rooms each day of the week, they get an extra dollar added to their allowence. If they only clean their room once, you take out $.75 from their allowence.

If you make this be about money, kids usually turn around quickly.

Answer 6

What I do for my son is make a chart. You give them a certain amount of points on how good the room is cleaned and put it on the chart and once they get a enough points you reward them(toy, Chuck E. Cheeses, etc.). And do it over again until they get more points. That takes away the punishing and harshness. Hope this helps!
Good luck!

Answer 7

NO just make it a game. Give them some money if they clean there room and take some away if they don't. or if there comes an instince where they want something say u have 2 clean ur room if u want it that bad. and when they r done maybe play with them or take them for icecream once in a while. whatever u want

and it is not a bribe. just go along with it. just make it a fun game.

Good Luck!!!!!!!!!

Answer 8

You need to realize that their room is their room. It is a place for them to relax, and for them to be themselves. I understand that it is inexceptable for it to be a COMPLETE mess, but maybe they don't like everything exactly perfectly in its place. They must respect keeping other parts of the home clean, because it belongs to the family. But their room is theirs... they should be free to keep it how they want.

Have you ever thought that maybe you're spending too much time with cleaning, and not enough with them? The reason I'm telling you this is because our family had a big problem with this. My mother was so obsessed with setting a good example by keeping a clean house that she stopped spending time with us. We started to resent her, and our house was constantly a huge battle ground as we got older. Nothing was ever clean enough for her. My dad couldn't stand the madness, ended up leaving. Do you really want madness in your home? A home needs to look lived in. I'm not saying live like a pig, but if you don't want the same broken family and madness that I've had to deal with, I would lay off a little. Good luck.

Answer 9

Try to make a game out of it. Positive reinforcement usually works but you can go with the..."If you keep your room clean for three days in a row...we can go do this, or have that"...Then move it from three days to five and then eventually to a week. Rewards can be letting them pick what you'll have for dinner or dessert...or picking the movie on the next movie night. Or letting them have friends sleep over or sleep over at a friends house. Good kids get good things...bad kids get nothing fun. It worked on my brother and I when we were little. Best of luck!

Answer 10

I'm like you - everything has a place. And if it doesn't, it's clutter and should be given away. Remember that you children are individuals and they may not share your "cleanliness" disease (as my husband likes to call it!)

How do you get them to keep their rooms clean? You have to make it fun. First say "We are going to play this game together, but first we have to spend 10 minutes cleaning our rooms!" and then run in their room and help them pick up. Then play the game with them.

Answer 11

I don't think you're being too harsh. I have this problem with my 6-year-old twins too. I've tried a lot of tactics that haven't worked. But recently, I've introduced a daily chore chart. I made it up on Excel, then had them laminated and they helped me add what their chores should be. Then for each chore they do, they make so much money for each chore...it's not a whole lot for each, but at the end of the day, we add up their totals and see what they've made. Then they can put that money in their piggy banks. So far, knock on wood, it's working! They've been going up to their charts on their own and seeing what they need to do.