Ok, so about 5 months ago i met a guy through a mutual friend. Well we got to talking and hanging out, watching movies, from time to time. He calls and makes me laugh. I like him but at the same time i dont want to let myself get too close to him. Before we met i just got out of a 7 year relationship that ended b/c of emtional abuse. I am holding on to the past? i just dont want to get hurt again or give anyone the chance to do so! Should i give in?
2006-12-29 02:40:16 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just bcoz 1 guy hurt you does'nt mean the other will.U have to take chances.
Bes of luck
2006-12-29 02:42:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
How do you know this guy is going to hurt you? if you go into a relationship thinking that the guy will eventually hurt you, this relationship will be over before it even starts. Not every man will be like your Ex, but it sounds to me like your really not ready for a relationship. Its hard getting into a healthy relationship when you've been hurt in the past - but it is possible. Just hang out with him and see where that goes.
2006-12-29 02:47:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give in, give in, and give in. Relationships are an experience building part of life, how can you find the right person for you if you haven't gone through a couple for comparison? Enjoy the moments you spend together and not how it ended. Keep the old memories as good memories, and keep making more. Everyone needs to ride this rollercoaster, as it is a part of life...and eventually there will be that person who will last way longer than 7 years.
2006-12-29 02:45:48 · answer #3 · answered by gnomus12 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't keep your wall up forever. not saying to just let it go completely but there is no harm in seeing him and having fun. see where it goes. you never know. he could be the one you have been waiting for all your life. you can't let your past relationship dictate your life and heart. but only go as far as you are comforable with. baby steps. you don't have to jump in bed with him and commit yourself to him immediate. take it slow. this comes from an understanding broken heart. I was married for 10 years. my ex left me 1 year ago for a co-work. I was devestated, but I met a wonderful man 9 months ago. we've been together since then and he is so much better than my ex will ever think about being. I have no regrets. I love this guy with all my heart. more than I have ever felt in my life. But I still have some of my wall up scared to be hurt but I am not going to let it get in my way of being happy. Don't let yours do it either. Be happy. Life life one day at a time. That's all you can do.
2006-12-29 02:45:52 · answer #4 · answered by Photochic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey; "It is better to have Loved and Lost; Than to Never Have Loved At All!"
I know it is "Scarey!" But, the Past is "The Past." Learn from it! Don't let it "Dictate," how you will Live today and tomorrow! If you never "give-in" or even try to "Trust" another; Who will Loose in the long-run?
This new-bo' isn't the one that you had 7Yrs. of agony with! Don't "Judge" him by the merit's of the old-bo'! He is not the same one who "hurt" you!
In time, He could Help you "Heal," and even show you what Love is!
Try to give Him and yourself a chance at "Trust;" It is OK to take it slow, just be Honest and Upfront with Him. I'll "Bet" He will understand, and Care about how you feel!
It can't Hurt to Try!
Good Luck.....
2006-12-29 02:54:35 · answer #5 · answered by 1moe4u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having been in an abusive marriage, I can understand and relate to your problem. You have to be able to stand up for yourself and rely on you. You will eventually gain trust in the male species. If you stay in the public light with the 'guy' and tell him straight forward that you are not planning on a serious relationship. If and when the time comes for you to be serious with him or anyone else, you will find that you will not need to ask anyone. You will feel it from within and actually feel it from the man that you are attracted to. Good Luck!
2006-12-29 02:45:57 · answer #6 · answered by Mary Ann L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will never find anyone else to be with if you never give anyone a chance. Im sorry to hear about the past relationship you just got out of, im sure it was hard. But if you ever want to love or be loved again (not that this guy is necesarily "the one") you need to let people love you
2006-12-29 02:43:10 · answer #7 · answered by Chrissy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go for it!
If you there's a connection, don't be afraid to ask important questions like do you want children or not, etc. The more important questions you ask, the better you can judge if he could be the same type as your previous lover.
You said the former boy abused you emotionally. Then, that's not your fault, is it? So the former relation can't be a big reason to keep the new guy off.
2006-12-29 02:42:00 · answer #8 · answered by · 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look at your choice of words. "Should I give in?"
You are looking at a relationship as a battle.
When two people enjoy each other's company it should not be with the intent that one has to get over at the expense of the other. You should help each other grow as human beings as you both walk down life's path.
Sometimes paths diverge and go in another direction. That's okay. Celebrate and be glad for the time that you walked together. But don't deny yourself the pleasure of another's company based solely on the fear that someday your paths may branch off from one another or that you have to change yourself to accommodate them. Someone who truly cares about you would not ask you to change something about yourself that isn't harming you.
2006-12-29 02:53:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No I don't think you should give in just yet....do you feel comfortable with this new guy? enough to confide your problem with him? i just say that, because if you do like this guy and want some day to have a relationship with him, then let him know that you just got out a relationship and you just want to take it slow, not that there are still feelings but that you are just scared and need time. If he is a decent guy he will respect that and still hang out.
2006-12-29 02:44:24 · answer #10 · answered by vgplamondon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well tell him that u need some time u just got out of a 7 year realtionship u need some time to get u self together to get over the past its ok to go out wit him and stuff but u dont need a bf right now and if hes a good one he will wait for u
2006-12-29 02:43:56 · answer #11 · answered by ahkiya :) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋