I want to start trying for a baby in July after we get married but....?

Question

my fiance wants to get his credit cards and truck paid off first. I know for a fact that if we had a baby we would be able to afford it. He's 25 and I'm 23. We've been together for 6 years and two of them we were engaged. We own a house together and have new vehicles. We've lived together owning a house for 4 years. What do you think? I tried to tell him that debt always comes, there's always something and if he wants to wait until our debt is paid off, we won't ever have kids.

I asked him when he wanted to have kids and he says he definately wants what I want but he doesn't feel that we could afford it if we had kids right now.

Let me just add that I have a degree in accounting and I work as a bookkeeper in an accounting office. I deal with numbers all day long and know whether I can afford something or not...

Answer 1

I agree---if you wait until you can afford children, you probably won't have kids. Sounds like maybe cold feet for the baby arena right now. Talk about it with him. There always seems to be a way to make it work when kids come around. And remember, it may take awhile to get pregnant, and once you are pregnant, it takes 9 months to have the baby. So that could be a year or more after you start trying before you actually have the baby. That's a year more worth of car payments & bills that you'll be paying anyway, right??

Answer 2

There will never be a "perfect" time to have a baby, but I can see his point in wanting to get rid of debt before bringing on more. Kids are expensive!! Maybe the two of you should sit down and come up with a timetable of when you think the credit cards and truck will be paid off and then figure out when you should start trying for a baby. I would suggest giving yourself at least a year before having a baby. Even though the two of you have been a couple for 6 years, you need some time to adjust to being married. I don't think people who live together beforehand realize how much of a difference that marriage certificate can make!!!
Good luck to you both no matter what your decision!!!

Answer 3

debt does not always come.. but it should come first a kid can be VERY expensive

I suggest you have a cheap wedding and if you buy another vechicle buy a cheap one...new vechicles are the biggest waste of money ever - at least 3-5 years old is better deal in the long run.... be frugal with your money so you can pay off your debt ASAP.. eat more soup... eat cheap...
I had my daugter when I was 30 - I feel this was a good age.. any younger and I wouldnt have had the experiences or seen other peoples mistakes... so I think wait a year or 2 and do major debt recovery or you will be hurting if you need cash for your kid emergengy or dental or whatever... bust your **** to pay off the debt.. then only have 1 kid - the world is over populated as it is... we are consuming farm land at alarming rates - over fishing - pollution.. 1 kid is plenty

IF one of you can stay home with the child for the first 5 years then you can afford it.. dumping kids in day cares so you can continue to work is NEVER a good choice and if you must do this then clearly you cannot afford a child yet - keep paying off debt and start saving ....

Answer 4

Not true. Debt does not always come. Debt comes when you can't put off an "I want" impulse and save and wait.

Learning how to live within your means and on a budget is essential to creating a stable environment for a child. And, if you would like the option of staying home to take care of your child for a few months, you had better start learning and living by both skills now.

Becoming a parent requires patience and learning to put others' needs before your own. Financial management is a big indication of your maturity level and ability to do both of those things.

The best thing you could do to prepare for parenthood is to cut up the credit cards, pay them off as quickly as possible and start paying cash for EVERYTHING. It will be a great way for you to start saving for things kids need like diapers and educations.

Answer 5

well, you know that the house wont be paid off anytime soon. Taxes and monthly bills will always be there so those are always going to be there. Cars would be paid off in like what? 5 years?
The only thing I can suggest is to consolidate your credit debt with a reputable company (check each one out with the better business bureau before you sign up with them).

I agree with the other person who said that having a child will eventually bring along unexpected expenses.

As far as when to have a child, thats not up to us here. You two should sit down and talk this out and look at everything in detail. You are in your 20's also, it's not like your biological clock is ticking anyway... :-)

Answer 6

Sounds like you and your husband need to talk some more. Do some research into cost. How much everything will cost and how much money will be lost due to time out of work (not just for you but him too, he'll want to be with you in case of any unforeseen complications). Showing him on paper that you can really afford it may change his mind. It may also be that he wants to wait a bit longer. If that is the case, then wait a couple more years. Never under any circumstances take matters into your own hands and make the decision for him. Good luck!

Answer 7

do not rush having a toddler after your wedding ceremony. Take time to be alongside with your husband and luxuriate interior the married existence in the previous including a toddler. I actually have a 6 month previous and not something is ever the same. infants require somewhat some time. Husbands each and every each and every now and then get jelaous and new conflicts look each and every each and every now and then. i like being a mom, and that i'm chuffed we waited 2 years. communicate on your conventional practitioner approximately whilst this is appropriate to end taking the pill. i could not get pregnant for a 365 days after i finished, yet not all instances are the same. good success and congrats!!

Answer 8

It's true..there's never a perfect time to have a baby, but if you all do have quite a few bills that you can get paid off, it might be better to do that. Pregnancy and babies can sometimes bring some unexpected bills or costs...especially if you work and may possibly have to go on bedrest, and then miss out on pay you would have normally received. And just the cost of diapers, formula (if you have to use it), and everything else really adds up quickly.

Answer 9

This is entirely between you and your fiance. Maybe ask him if he is ready for a baby, maybe he is using the debt as a way of puting it off. Keep the communication open. Make sure you make a decision together. The worst thing you can do is go off your birth control and let yourself get pregnant. That will not do anything for his trust in you.

Answer 10

listen you guys are doing fine. tell him how you feel tell him that the debts will be paid off in there own time but you don't want to put off having a baby till. then. talking to him will help you. just tell him you are not waiting. you want children now while you are still young enough to enjoy them and if he wants kids with you he will allow you this. good luck.