My ex to be is in jail becouse of abusive behavior toward me.I want to meet new people.But how do i get over the fact that he put me down so much.Im starting to believe it.Ive been told im good looking and look younger than 50.I feel like im in my 30s.My ex to be and i have not been together for a long time.He was only here in body.I have two kids.17and a half and 13 and a half.I love them to death.But need some grown up company.Even just to chat with.
How do i move on without looking forward.My ex will never be back.
has a 3year restraining order on him for what he did to me.But I feel so low about myself.And yes ive been to counseling.Just cant shake the way he treated me and the names he called me.Is it wrong t want to move on and find a careing person.And if so where are they.Been out of the dateing game a long time.Sad and lonely in calif.Anyone have an answer?
2006-12-29 01:59:42 · 14 answers · asked by cat eyes 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
God bless you dear. Ive been in the same place you are now except for Im a MALE.. I spend every moment I can with my kids, 2 under 18 and 2 over 18. (I have custody of all) That fills me to a point. I hate the bar scene and dont go to church, but I did find that going for coffee at a steady cafe brings a lot of people to talk to in time.
Just always have a smile ready to give to others even though your dieing inside. IT DOES HELP.
2006-12-29 02:07:50 · answer #1 · answered by D.C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way to move on is to do something that interests you. Asking for friends on the internet is hit or miss, you'll find a lot of people but not many you have that much in common with. If you join a group for abused women, or join ballroom dancing, or take a class at the local college, then you know you have something in common with those who are there. But yes, you can get over this. Just remember the mean comments came from a mean man. There are sweet people out there who will be nice to you but first you have to put yourself out there. So take a cooking class... worst case you learn something you are interested in, best case, you make a new friend.
2006-12-29 02:06:01 · answer #2 · answered by blhenne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ARE YOU READY FOR THIS CAT EYES?? You gotta break with the old routine of feeling down and unloved. Count your blessings now that he's out of the picture. REALLY, sit down and make a list of all the blessings and GOOD things about your life. Concentrate on them, not on the past, not on loneliness, certainly not on ex-bf.
NOW, ARE YOU REALLY READY FOR THIS?? Starting today, you will "make yourself new" by changing your old routines. From now on, you will have wonderful new routines that are a departure from what you have known.
First, you need to rejuvenate your spirits and your body like this: Change your lifestyle and do this forever. Drink lots of water, walk, run, or swim an hour every day except 1 then do stretching and upper body toning. Eat fruits & vegetables.
Second, you have to become a girly-girl. Think, act, and do all things in a girly, feminine way. Then, you have to prepare yourself and become "available":
1. Groom immaculately
2. Dress nicely with cleavage
3. Work harder than ever
4. Spend an hour a day in the library
5. Spend an hour a day at the gym
6. Honor your parents
7. Get involved in a worthy community function
8. Volunteer a few hours a week for a worthy cause
9. Help someone every day
10.Go to Church
11.Invite your friends to Church
12.Take group dance lessons
YES, you are correct. This requires you to RE-THINK yourself and your routines.
Good Luck
PS. Let us know how you are doing in a month. And if you need more encouragement, LET ME KNOW.
2006-12-29 02:18:08 · answer #3 · answered by snvffy 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you should have ditched him long before this, before he broke your spirit. But....This CAN be turned around! Millions of women AND men have had to do exactley the same thing.If counseling didn't 'work', then that means YOU are being your worst enemy. YOU have to work on you for awhile longer. The only way to "shake" what he's said and done to you is to think new thoughts to overshadow the bad ones. Depending on how much you practice doing this, is how long it will take you to recover. Think good thoughts. Let THEM take hold in your mind. Think of your wonderful kids! They need you, ALL of you. Be brave! You are in control now! It's a new year...new person!
2006-12-29 02:09:46 · answer #4 · answered by INDRAG? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my experience when I've been at a low point I have found that being the best I can be gives me hope and leads to happiness!
The quickest way to feel better about yourself is to help someone else! volunteer at a soup kitchen or help your kids with their homework or anything really!
2006-12-29 02:09:59 · answer #5 · answered by Ndumbipoint 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u are not your problem, u are much bigger than that, u are suffering from low self worth, because of how he treated u. how he treated u had nothing to do with u, that was his character and about his integrity, there are wonderful people out there who will love u, if u make the first move to meet them. your past doesn't matter, as we can't do anything about the past, but we can about the future. yes he abused you emotionally, but that's because he hated himself. hasn't got a thing to do with you, as u didn't cause it, this was just who he was. maybe next time choose more wisely, look into his past behavior, and pick a god fearing man.
2006-12-29 02:08:08 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand. I'm around your age and was married for 20 years and have been divorced for 2 years. I'm a rookie too!..lol..I mean hell, we were married almost 1/2 our lives! It is a whole new world out there. Some things are wonderful in this new dating scene! Believe me, but some things are confusing and I feel like I'm kinda out of the loop..lol..If you would like to email me, feel free. We can go "huh?" together..lol
2006-12-29 02:17:21 · answer #7 · answered by no cutesy name : ) 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it is not wrong to want to get out and find a friend is only natural. you should after the way he treated you. Althought you may have been to couseling only you can help yourself feel better about yourself.
2006-12-29 02:09:48 · answer #8 · answered by Chiquinn W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget about what he said or did to you. It's time to move on. Get yourself out there and make new friends...maybe even a male friend. Don't let his hurtful things control your life.
2006-12-29 02:06:21 · answer #9 · answered by honeybear 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some people just need to be needed there isnt nothing wrong with that just make sure the kids come first. screen them a little better so you dont get hurt again.
2006-12-29 02:05:16 · answer #10 · answered by lonelyone000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋