the reason why i loved him is because he loved me like heaven, he taught me to love him and now i love him so much cant think of leaving him. we have talked about the drinking and promised to stop BUT not at all, he tells me that will be taking atleast 2 bottles every weekend. this is very disturbing cause he might get worse when we get married hopefully 2008 . i hate drunkards and i wonder if i will stand it in marriage if it gets worse.should i move on with him or call it a quit? i dont want to divorce in future.
2006-12-29 01:52:57 · 22 answers · asked by Ruth M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
2 or 3 beers is nothing. You say you love him, but you're also trying to dominate him. Leave the poor guy with some little pleasure...and some choice in his life. I think he should be the one questioning marriage, not you. PREVIOUS QUESTION...just read yours. You tell us there's a guy who loves you but you don't know what to do about him because at 34, he's 10 years older than you. Now I'm really confused. How many guys are "in love"with you? I'm talking reality here
2006-12-29 02:00:35 · answer #1 · answered by Taylor29 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he knows how you feel about it and won't change that should tell you something. It will get worse. It will take more and more as the years go by for him to get a buzz off a couple of beers. Now, if he just drinks a couple of beers on the weekend that isn't so bad. But if he drinks all the time and it bothers you, then your relationship will never last. I explained to my BF the differences I saw in him when he was stoned, how his attitude was poor, he was lazy and all together just a downright loser. He stopped because he knew ultimately I was right and I would leave him if he continued. Tell him it's unattractive, scares you regarding your future and let him know how he acts differently when he drinks. If he cares, he'll listen and react.
2006-12-29 09:58:33 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have a problem with him drinking, don't marry him, but don't leave him if you love him. Be content with him when you get married.
Just note. There is nothing wrong with a non-alcoholic drinking beer. A alcoholic tends to not be able to say "no" after a couple.
You may just want to sit down and talk to him about it one more time. Ask him to stop for a couple of weekends to see if he can. If he doesn't at least do that, then what else would he not do for you?
Anyway, good luck and just follow your heart.
2006-12-29 09:59:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats how my boyfriend was, hes probably still in his cowboy stage where he has to have fun with the guys and by drinking thats the way he does it. Well if you tell him it really bothers you and you would like him to cut down to like 2 beers every weekend and then start doing things where you can't have beer there those kinda things or just tellhim exactly what your question says and him seeing how much you care and want to be with him thats how my boyfriend was he tried his best and changed for me b/c he used to party alot but since he saw that i wasn't the partying kind he spent more time with me than with the beer and so far of about seven months hes been to one party which he wanted me there w/him and every time he drank it was in front of me or called me whenever he was drinking to check in to let me know he was ok.but having at least 2-3 beers won't hurt him as much as 6 or more every day just think of it that way.
2006-12-29 10:10:44 · answer #4 · answered by keb 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have a moral opposition to drinking and he doesn't share your views, you'd better make a decision now. That sort of thing just doesn't work itself out on its own. 2-3 beers a weekend does not a drunkard make, but it sounds like you have more serious issues that you need to first deal with surrounding the issue of alcohol.
2006-12-29 14:24:53 · answer #5 · answered by Ketel One Up 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2-3 beers? C'mon, that is nothing...that is drinking responsibly. If he never gets drunk, don't worry about it. But if he does get drunk and does something you don't like, knowing that you got hurt will definitely ease the drinking. I used to drink my a** off, and usually became a clepto...but the day that I got wasted, blanked out and woke up with my girlfriend's carton of cigarettes that I stole from her (I don't remember doing it)...I felt so so guilty that I quit. I do drink moderately once in a while, but I haven't gotten wasted and blanked out since that day 5 years ago. She's my wife now...and though she never thought it a big deal cuz she knew how I was when drunk, I never want to do something like that again...and especially not remember it.
2006-12-29 10:01:18 · answer #6 · answered by gnomus12 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's really not a big deal unless he gets drunk alot, or your religious beliefs prohibit alcohol. Of course he might get worse, anything can happen -- you could get worse in some fault you have as well. Is it OK for him to think you may blow all your money after marriage and put you both in the poorhouse, just because you want to go shopping every now & then?
2006-12-29 10:00:03 · answer #7 · answered by bobo383 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2-3 beers? Over the whole weekend? Sweetie, I drink 2-3 beers with breakfast every day. Cut him a break. He's not getting drunk, so what's the big deal? Maybe he just likes the taste of beer.
2006-12-29 09:56:39 · answer #8 · answered by white.devil 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This future marriage is already headed for divorce. You are so immature and not even close to ready for marriage. The guy loves beer and will probably drink more if you marry him and think you have the right to make him stop. Get real, god!!!!
2006-12-29 09:56:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
2 or 3 beers a weekend is should not be an issue... If he was drinking at like10 in the morning and passing out bye 13hoo then yes... u have a problem... but if he isnt getting drunkand just enjoys his beer then there aint no problem there...play it out... see how it goes
2006-12-29 09:57:46 · answer #10 · answered by Clayton C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋