I wanted to spend X-mas with my ex's relatives because they always treated me like family. But they told me I couldn't come because he would be there with his new woman, whom he met online while he was still with me. They said it wouldn't be fair to him or her. I hurt so bad I called a suicide hotline.
2006-12-29 01:11:59 · 6 answers · asked by office_chixx 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You not just still in love with your ex, your in love with a family and that feeling of family.
Yes it is not appropriate to visit the ex's family UNLESS you are asked Several times. 1 times is curtesy, 2 times is polite, 3 times is genuine invitation.
You suicide hotline call isn't just a breif depression of this one instance. It is your need for family. Even if you have family of your own, if they were close enough, you would have called one of them.
This is a act of desparation, and you should know you must find friends, very close friends of your own sex that you can rely on and can talk to before you find another "relationship" or you will become needy and over dependant on that new relationship and destroy it.
2006-12-29 01:19:12 · answer #1 · answered by Computer Dr. 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Office Chixx u can visit the ex's relatives on another day! Just not on the day of their family's celebration. It's his family and his new girlfriend. He's move on, sounds like u haven't.
Relationships take time to overcome especially if u were married. Betryal is often times followed by RAGE. If u r unable to see realistically what ur relationship was... seek a mental health agency in your community. There is low cost, no cost help. Your feeling matter, u need a support network to help u cope and resolve issues and feelings.
Your ex's relatives r not the ones to pull u through. What happen to your own family and personal friends? This time of the year brings about tremendous loneliness and exaggerated loss. Calling a suicide hotline is good first step. When u feeling down and lonely, u gotta get busy. Find an activity that u can make a difference in other people's lives. So u don't dwell on the heartache.
Get a Journal of Hope- eachday acknowledge either the good things u did that day. Or one good thing that happened to you. Focus on the positive! U gotta start seeing life and your adventures as have full! When u positive, happy and love yourself then others will too! Dwelling on past mistakes, past heartache is deadly for ur health and outlook on life.
Today is the best day to start right now and make 1 positive change in ur life. If u have too write on tiny strips of paper your hearaches, sorrow, pain and place it in a box, go get a shovel and have a burial... bury the old, pain, hurt, sorrow. My children use to write their painful, sad thoughts and in a saucer and with a match we'd burn them up. They thought it's a start for new way of living. Then they go out and do 3 random acts of kindness. It was their way of starting the new year out right. They knew that they had 3 mos. to random act of kindness. What they found out, they would end up doing more. Because they were picky on what they considered special. They concentrated so hard on doing good for others, that they began to see their own problems, heartache was immaterial to others life delmenias .
2006-12-29 11:03:25 · answer #2 · answered by Staci 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello Office Chick. I feel your pain but despair ye not. Hang in there. I know holidays can get you down sometimes but everything is going to be alright. Let me share a story with you. My ex and I were together off and on for about three years. She had a son that to this day I love as my own. Even after we broke up I spent time with the child and cared for him as if he were my very own. This past summer I married my wife, who is very caring and compassionate and supported my relationship with "my son". However, my getting married angered my ex and out of nowhere she banned me from ever seeing "my son" again. It has been six months now since I have seen "my son" and this is the first Christmas in his life that we have been apart. I love and miss him dearly. It was very hard Christmas shopping for my neices and nephews who are his age and not getting anything for him. I had been hoping that my ex would call and tell me it would be okay for me to see him again, but that call never came.
What I have come to realize from all that is that my ex's decisions don't define me. Her decisions don't define my existence. Life goes on. So I say to you on this day. Hold your head high. Don't let your ex get you down. Don't let him define you or your existence. You are in control of your own destiny. Life is good. God is good. Right now might be a good time for you to invite God into your life if you haven't already done so. That's what I did. I prayed that God would bless me with someone who was caring and compassionate and would appreciate me and love me for who I am. I am no better than you or anyone else. If He can do it for me I know He can do it for you. I will be praying for you. Peace and God bless.
2006-12-29 10:21:26 · answer #3 · answered by cave man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say it's perfectly understandable to want to spend the holidays with them, especially if you were relatively close to them.
Only thing I would preface that statement with is to ensure that you are going there to spend time with his family and not to get close to him. It's true the holidays are a good time to get reacquainted with people and mend old relationships but romantic relationships mended around this time usually don't last the Spring, cause people jump into them due to the loneliness the holidays induce upon the single.
2006-12-29 09:18:35 · answer #4 · answered by purin_cakep 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You usually lose Ex'es family along with losing Ex...
Sorry...
Your relationship with Exes family is probably over..
2006-12-29 09:15:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get over it they are your EX!!!!!!! relatives
2006-12-29 09:15:23 · answer #6 · answered by star-e 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋