Next year my boyfriend and I will get marry and i know things will work right between us. Im just 20 years old and hes 23.... and i will continue my studies in the states for when i get there. we don't want kids by now till im done from college. hes working hard and earning good money so we can have a goodlife together. he got the apartment for us too(hes still livin @ his house) .Some of my relatives are like saying im too young to get marry, and all that. Yesterday, my brother's gf who lives in the states... wow... she is here in the DR and really got me scared cuz she told me soo bad thing such as irish men likes to beat her woman (my bf have irish heritage), and that they are cheap, that they dont allow her wife to be independient but for him only (such as they dont allow them to study; just attent at them, etc). now im kind of confused cuz those girls (my brother's gf ad her cousin) put things on my mind, at that point, that im super scared of going the states. what can i do now?
2006-12-29 01:10:57 · 11 answers · asked by *live,laugh,love* 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
now coz u have already decided things vid ur bf,dont get scared,if u still have a talk abt tht vid him ,all d best
2006-12-29 01:14:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems like the ones telling you all these horror stories might be jealous. Just because someone comes from a certain heritage does not mean they're going to beat their women or anything. That all depends on that person and who they are...not if they're Irish or not. If you want to get married and this is what you know you want to do, then go for it. I got married when I was 20 and my fiance was 23, and we've been married for 10 years now.
2006-12-29 09:21:05 · answer #2 · answered by cjmann1976 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whether you're 20 or 50, the only way to have a successful and sustainable relationship is to communicate, openly, honestly, and without fear of retribution. Start that chain of communciation now by conveying your fears. You don't have to say who told you, but just that people told you these things and that you want his insights and opinions. He's of course not going to say "hey, I'm going to beat you" or "of course I'll smother you and expect you to dote on me". So ask the right questions that matter ... "Do you expect me to be back at work six months after our first child is born or to stay home for xxx months/years?" or "What is a reasonable number of nights per week/month for each of us to go out with the girls/guys?" You likely know whether he's a fan of chivalry (i.e. opening doors, pulling out chairs, etc.), but ask him what he considers a "gentleman"? or "How is a man's role in the relationship different from that of the woman?" These sorts of questions will open the dialogue without being confrontational.
Good luck.
2006-12-29 09:24:50 · answer #3 · answered by Ketel One Up 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok so how well do you know your bf .. Trust yourself and you decisions. You can't take thire past experiences and think yours will turn out the same way. I mean I personally think it was rude of them to even come at you with all the negativity. not all men are the same. There lots of men of different heritages who beat women and try to control them.
2006-12-29 09:18:16 · answer #4 · answered by dani girl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
U love the guy for heaven's sake.U cant let sumone feed ur mind on the fact that he is a irsh so he'll be bad to ya.Legend also says dat all chinese r supposed to have pigtail mustaches..But do they??Naah.
Dont go by his bein irish or sumthn.U love him for wat he is.For all the time u spent together.For everythng he is.N i am pretty sure that (until he is a psycho maniac) he wont beat up the love of his life..
2006-12-29 09:16:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well obviously you don't know your boyfriend well enough to be marrying him. You should already know the answers to those questions if your going to marry him. I say you should hold off on the wedding and get to know him better before you become committed forever.
2006-12-29 09:15:05 · answer #6 · answered by #1techfan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Quit asking this stupid question over and over again. Either you love and the guy and you go to the US or you are having second thoughts and you stay where you are. Personally, I hope you stay as I live in the US and we have enough wishy washy people here already.
2006-12-29 09:16:29 · answer #7 · answered by rilindy 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
dont listen to the stories they are just that --- stories --- keep getting to know your boyfriend and find out what he is like and that will give a lie to the stories
2006-12-29 09:20:36 · answer #8 · answered by trader1867 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are not to young,follow the colours of the wind[your mind]
2006-12-29 09:22:38 · answer #9 · answered by t-crisis 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
donot listen to them. if you really love him then you should also trust him more than anyone else
2006-12-29 09:15:56 · answer #10 · answered by ujjwal 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋