Hi my girl n I split up a month ago. I didnt quite realise we had split up, it was more of an assumption since it was through a text, which said she was thinkin of splitting up. Neither of us clarified, and i just assumed we had broken up since it was the second time she had done this except the first time we were speaking on the phone and the conversation ended with her assuming it was over and with me assuming we still hadn't decided anything. On both occasions however, we had a little argument before about her not being committed enough. A month after the break up text she sent me an email apologising, blaming herself and saying that she misses me and wishes we could at least be friends. I'm a really nice guy and always forgive and forget, but after getting hurt constantly for being nice, ive decided i dont want to reply, i cant see the point in being friends, but im confused because part of me says maybe i shudnt be so hard on her so now im stuck. Can anyone help?
2006-12-29 00:45:27 · 21 answers · asked by dragon512k 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
General impression i think ive given off is that ive encouraged the whole texting thing. Just to clarify my personal strength is clear communication but its her that finds confrontation difficult and so to get info out of her im forced to text otherwise she doesnt get her point across and we end up not addressing all the issues, which creep back up when we least expect them to! If i had it my way we would have met up face to face discussed the issues without being all emotional and defensive, commit to each other and made things work! The problem is she's too scared to do all that.
2006-12-29 10:37:40 · update #1
give her a good bonking and walk away!
2006-12-29 00:53:41 · answer #1 · answered by mary_not_cathy 7 · 8⤊ 1⤋
The basis of any solid relationship, aside from love, is good communication. If neither of you are able to understand what the status of your relationship is, and can't even make decisions about it face to face, then I'd say end it now. All this texting and emailing is just silly. Either you can talk like grown up or you can't, plain and simple.
It's not as difficult as you think: either you sit down face to face and discuss (and understand!) the issues that brought you to this point, and decided to stay together OR you acknowledge you don't have what it takes for the relationship to work and you END IT.
It sounds to me like you both know it's not working, but are staying "connected" because you don't want to be alone or are afraid of life beyond this relationship. That's not a good enough reason to stay together.
2006-12-29 00:53:52 · answer #2 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It doesn't sound like this girl wants all the responsibilities that come with a relationship. I would suggest that you call or write her (I tend to think texting is a bit impersonal and harder to get your point across) and tell her how you feel, and that it would be best for you both to move on to avoid the inevitable happening again (if that is what you REALLY want). This way you're being a gentleman about it, because taking her back when you don't really want to will just hurt her more in the end.
Hope this helps, good luck!
2006-12-29 02:05:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
its a hard situation and only advice i can give is dont listen to anyone else and follow your heart, if you walk away because ppl tell you too then you will always be thinking 'what if' so i say do what you think is best for you but go in there knowing you may get hurt but its a risk your willing to take and at least the next time you know there is no possible way you can get back together, but if you definatly dont want to get hurt again then maybe move on and try and get her out of your head and se if that helps things to be a bit clearer for you
2006-12-29 01:05:51 · answer #4 · answered by sweetness 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
go with your heart - and if that sounds too emotional, just with your feelings!
What do you want to do? Have you missed her? Do you have an ache in your gut? Think of her with someone else - how do you feel?
Answer those questions and you wont need us nosey gits to tell you what to do - you'll know for yourself.
By the way, when it comes to texts - they are so easily sent in anger, misunderstood (there is no tone of voice). Always clarify meanings, you will normally be pleasently surprised!
Good luck
2006-12-29 01:01:40 · answer #5 · answered by Paul H 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
should you go back to the old, familiar relationship that you know works for at least a little while? even though for her you might be just "well, there's really nothing else available"? in hopes that one day she will give up the search?
or are you willing to take a chance, move on, and see other girls? if you do...this girl might want you and miss you even more! but is it worth the risk?
only you can answer that.
2006-12-29 00:54:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think by saying you have decided you don't want to reply, you probally shouldn't. In time you will both move on. The most important attributes in a relationship are communication, honesty and trust. If you are missing one of these, you are most definitely lacking in your relationship. I don't think you are being hard on her...I think you are being honest with yourself. It is that gut feeling knowing we are making the right decision even though we feel bad about it. Don't worry, with time you will both move on. Good luck!
2006-12-29 00:57:49 · answer #7 · answered by timeless_echo 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Forget about her and go on. She temporarily found someone and it didn't work out for her so she is leaning back on you because she is insecure. Apparently she doesn't care about your feelings. There is fresh fish in the sea so I say "go sailing" young man and throw the old fish back for the others to eat. Get yourself a fresh catch. Good Luck and Happy New Year.
2006-12-29 00:51:25 · answer #8 · answered by Maggie 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
you should learn how to communicate better, not by a text. If you really wanted to be with her, you would have been already and you wouldn't be posting this question. So next time grow up and talk to her on the phone, you can't be that immature, how old are u?
2006-12-29 00:49:56 · answer #9 · answered by laura k 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like you're allowing your girlfriend (or ex-girlfriend) to decide whether or not the two of you are together or not. Why don't YOU decide what YOU want to do, and do it. Maybe she wants to have her cake and eat it too, which is OK, if it's OK with you. If you DON'T want to do that, be more assertive. Tell her if she wants to be with you, fine. The two of you will be friends or whatever. But the next time she "breaks up" with you, it's over. And stick to it.
2006-12-29 00:50:33 · answer #10 · answered by Alexandra L 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
eff that bee!! she's hard on you think about how much she hurt you and then she's going to play "im sorry" and then do it all over again!?!? HE..... NOOO!! i say if she wants to be nice again? she better come through with a new pair of shoes and a matching t-shirt for consolation AND she better wear something sexy !! its not your fault its hers!! SHE SAID IT HER SELF!!!! right?!!so take a stand dog, be a man.
2006-12-29 00:53:28 · answer #11 · answered by rooster 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋