We've been together for 6 years, engaged for two. I'm 23 and he's 25. I've decided that this year in July, I want us to get married. He is fine with that. I also want to start trying for a baby after we get married. He says that he wants to wait until we have his credit cards ($10,000) and his truck ($14,000) paid off before we start trying. I feel that he is being unreasonable and told him that if we wait to have everything paid off, we will never have kids. I've been wanting this for two years and I don't know how much longer I can wait!!!! What do you think?
2006-12-29 00:43:11 · 13 answers · asked by sundragonjess 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
First off, bills are just a part of life. However who knows what other kind of expeneses will come along? I can understand that he wants to be a bit more secure financially but that is no excuse for putting off having a child. If you or he has parents that will help with the child, financially, let him know that.
Believe me, I have a MUCH bigger debt that he does, and I don't regret for one second having my daughter.
2006-12-29 00:47:50 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is true that if you wait to have a baby till everything is perfect, you will never have one. Here is my advice, I am 25 and have been with my boyfriend for 6 years and still not married. Get a really good debt reduction plan. Go to Dave Ramsey .com and figure out a plan that will really work for you guys and stick to it. Once the debt starts to get paid off and you know you are on the right track, think about having a baby. I'm thinking wait till about a year after you get married to start trying. I know you really want to now, but it won't work if he isn't behind you 100%. You still have plenty of time, your 23.. so you would be like 24 or 25. Perfect timing.
2006-12-29 00:51:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i see both point of views.
babies are expensive.
I think a good compromise will be wait til after atleast $12,000 of that debt is paid off.. so you guys are going half half.
How long would it take to pay that much off?
Also, life goes on.. you cant wait for everything to be perfect before having a child..because it will never be that way. there will always be something that comes up.
Good Luck.
2006-12-29 00:53:03 · answer #3 · answered by Arsh S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice is to wait at least 2 years of marriage before you have kids. Your still trying to make a marriage work. Dont add the stress of kids into the mix.
2006-12-29 00:55:11 · answer #4 · answered by Brown Eyed Girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well hon, you have me worried with the comment "he is fine with that". He should be estatic... he should be asking YOU to get married. If he is "fine with that".. then I'd take a good hard look on if this is the man to start a family with.
Nothing breaks your heart more than getting divorced young and shipping your child/children back and forth between parents.
Belive me, I know.
2006-12-29 00:51:24 · answer #5 · answered by hrh_erika 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dont rush into marriage just because you want children....both of you need to talk things out more before you decide to get married. If neither one of you are willing to compromise youll be gettng yourself in a big mess
2006-12-29 02:11:31 · answer #6 · answered by cutie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your still young, wait a few years. like two or something.. agree to that before you get married, that you will try on ...... whatever year... weather you have paid all your debts off or not.
2006-12-29 00:54:34 · answer #7 · answered by nicola m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Combine the to debts together. ($24000) Then start trying to pay them off. Then about when you hit the half way marker ($12000) try to have Kids. Then you would be half way done with both debts. I hope this helps!
2006-12-29 00:49:28 · answer #8 · answered by Ms. A-Rod 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is right about the Credit cards...trust me. Besides that, you have PLENTY of time for babies. Debt will get higher with a baby and then you get yourself into a hole that will be VERY hard to get out of.
2006-12-29 01:50:09 · answer #9 · answered by KathyS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly I see where he is coming from but I also see your point of view. I would continue to talk to him about it but I would also try to pay off as many bills as possible before you start trying.
2006-12-29 00:48:31 · answer #10 · answered by evilfaerie_13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋