what makes me so insecure?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a long time now. We are TTC and are planning on marriage in October of 2007.

Well, he is still living with his father(he hasn't heard from his mom in four years), and I am in schoo l*college*. I have an apartment. (we don't live together, because my parents would not like that too well). Well needless to say he doesn't talk to his mother much. An old friend of his, whom he tried desperately to get with like two years ago. Well when he called me last night to say goodnight and talk before i went to sleep, he asked me to three way her. I was reluctant at first, but i called her. He at least did it so i could hear what he said. He told her to relay a message to his mom that he loved her and still thought about her. (sad sad sad). The she started talkin to her. Told her he was with me and that we were tryin to have a baby and he wanted to marry me. Thing is he told her he still loved her, as a friend like a brother. After all that, why am i jealous?

I mean he talked about me the entire time almost, but when he told her he still loved her, it bothered me. Wonder why i am so uptight about it. Like i said he didn't keep it a secret and had me on the phone When we got off the phone with her the first thing he said was, "I DONT WANNA HEAR IT, I DONT WANNA HEAR IT, I love you not her". he had told her also that there were only three people he cared about and that was him Momma dot(who reared him) ME and her. Should i worry that he still "loves" her, or is it strictly friendly?

Ok let me make this more clear. My fiance told an ex girl that he still loved her as a friend. But also bragged about our relationship and how much he loved me. But when he said he still loved her, i got jealous. Why am i so jealous if i know he loves me and wants to marry me?

Answer 1

I am very confused by your question and think that you could lay it out much better.



************UPDATE***********

Ah, I've now read the updated version of your question and I understand very well your jealousy.

If a woman I am about to marry tells me that she loves her ex-BF too, I would talk to her, and would be very frank with her. I would express my concern without sounding too needy and insecure, because, afterall, the woman I'd like to marry is the woman I love. I would be open and would strive to understand her and would not want such a low and cliche'd feeling such as jealousy even to enter the relationship. I would simply not let it. And of course, I would trust her to love me as much as I love her, and view me as a soulmate and keep nothing from me. I would never expect otherwise.

Have faith and trust your man is my advice. Be open, and talk to him about everything, including your concerns.

Wish you the best in everything, and happy holidays.

Answer 2

It's understandable that you feel that way.They have a closeness that may be threatening especially with them being the opposite sex.It's very possible that it is just a friendship if they are at the brother and sister level. But at the same time keep your eyes open they aren't really blood related and things could happen.

All I am saying is try not too be so jealous,but at the same time don't overlook signs if they are there.

Answer 3

Totally lost me, talking about mom, a friend and a three way. That conversation is all over the place. I don't even see much of a connection to your question.

Answer 4

Not sure as to why you are insecure, but it does or may play a part in the relationship you have with your fiance as well as the friend. You need to confront him as to why he made the statement at all. Then from what he says, you need to handle your business.

Answer 5

after all that, well i would be jealous as well.... i have learnt most women are quite territorial and dont like other women mussling in on their patch.. mothers, mother in laws.. exs... other female friends... and thats before i even go into the 3sum!

Answer 6

I don't understand your question...