My eldest son is 14. I have only recently started to let him off the lead to travel on a bus with his mates albeit he has to get the school bus, but this is different.
Anyway, he is mad skateboarder, i have let him travel to St.Albans on his own to go shopping and to the indoor skate park over there, but he had his friend stay last night and he has been to Bay66 in ladbroke Grove supervised, but he has wanted me to take him over there, i just don't have the spare time at the mo, anyway him and his mate were looking covertly on travel websites (i have just looked at website history) and i have a sneeking suspicion now that he has gone to Ladbroke Grove under the rouse he is going to st.albans.
Do i call the skate park in st.albans/bay66 and check up on him? Or do i sit here and churn and trust him?
2006-12-29 00:20:05 · 13 answers · asked by untanuta 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I am 13 miles from the west end, i live in Hertfordshire, it's about 3 trains, an hour and half, Ladbrook Grove isn't the nicest place on the planet shall we say! St.albans is one bus 20 minute journey
2006-12-29 00:32:24 · update #1
Panic over i called him as i couldn't get the telephone of the skate park in st albans telephone number and made up a story about my friend just calling and wanting to take her son there tomorrow, i asked him to go and speak to someone and get the number, which he did and he ralayed the number whilst i was still on the phone!
2006-12-29 01:06:45 · update #2
for gods sake he is 14, let him go! if he is going with someone else and its only 20 min bus drive then he will be fine.
when are you going to let him grow up? he's going to be leaving secondary school in a couple of years. he's a teenager now, so treat him like one and let him go there if he wants.
just set a time he has to be back for and make sure he takes his mobile phone with him and that it has credit on it and he knows what to do if his mobile gets stolen, and he knows to ring/text you if he is going to be late for any reason.
2006-12-29 03:32:36 · answer #1 · answered by cynthia c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't clear from what you say how far you live from London. But if your son is getting there and back in an evening I'm assuming it's not far.
Is this your oldest or only child? Sounds as if he is.
I honestly don't see what the problem is. I let my kids travel 40 miles on the train to our nearest cities when they were 14. They never came to any harm.
Unless this place in Ladbroke Grove has a reputation for trouble, or the bus service is known to have frequent fights or something, I wouldn't worry.
2006-12-29 08:27:44 · answer #2 · answered by mcfifi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him straight out, Ladbroke grove has always had a bad rep
but he may be going with his friend and they may be supervised by a friends parent.
Please don't embarrass him by just turning up, if you want to keep his respect you have to show him the same respect. Explain your fears he may well understand.
But at 14 he is bound to want to do things that you may think unsuitable, we have all taken chances in the past, it is part of growing up.
2006-12-29 08:41:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
well I would be worried too. When kids are around 14 they want more independence. They will go places and say they are at another. Ask him where he is at, tell him he can not go to the other place. Say," when you tell me you will be here, you should be at that place, none other. If you want to change your plans...tell me"
Tell him you might drop in over there occasionally so he knows you are serious. They have phones these days that have a GPS tracker, so you know where your kid is. That would be an easy way to track him. I know you want to trust him, and I am not saying you shouldn't, but is is necessary to keep an eye on them so they don't go anywhere dangerous.
2006-12-29 09:35:56 · answer #4 · answered by Brandy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd call the skate park & see if he's there.If not go were you think he is.Always keep in mind if there was an emergency & you had to get him in a hurry & went were he said he was & wasn't there what would you do?You should also mention this to him if he did go some where else. Good Luck!
2006-12-29 08:43:15 · answer #5 · answered by Sandra H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him outright where he has been - BUT explain really clearly WHY you are asking. He needs to know how worried you are, and what the reasons are for your worries. My kids always tried to push the boundaries - all kids do - but when I explained why I was so scared about certain places, and activities, they were always willing to meet me half way. Don't give them rules without very reasonable explanations.
2006-12-29 08:32:35 · answer #6 · answered by Queen of the Night 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would turn up there and catch him out. Then ground him for a week and tell him he has lost your trust and that he cant go out on his own the bus till he regains your trust.
2006-12-29 08:26:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would say that more than likely he is getting old enough to be trusted and the more you try to keep a 14 year old from doing what they want to and showing them that you do worry and mabey dont trust them the more they will do or want to do what you dont want them to
2006-12-29 10:28:40 · answer #8 · answered by jazieyez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you need to have a chat with him and tell him you think he is lying and ask him if he is ,then set rules that he has to let you know where he is going other wise you cant trust him and will have to check up ...good luck
2006-12-29 08:29:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its all part of growing up,,you have to trust him at some point ,but you must also let him know that if he breaks the trust ,you will come down hard on him .
2006-12-29 08:33:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋