We have lived together and been dating for 4 years and I am still waiting for him to ask me to marry him. The thing is he wants me to sign a co-hab. contract (pre, pre nup.) and wants to get a house.
I don't agree with this at all and I was hoping for the engagement first.
I am sick of asking him to marry me (I have before, I even said skip the wedding and lets go to the corthouse).
I don't want to wait another year before he is ready to decide what he is doing. (also he is 33 and I am 24, so its not like HE is to young to know what he wants in life)
I think I need to break it off for a bit but I have no idea what to say to him.I think I am done waiting, I know he loves me but is that enough?
2006-12-28 23:54:02 · 20 answers · asked by sardonic_spyder 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Its not that I am pushing and i won't budge, but why do things have to be his way?
Why do I have to compromise? I have been patient. And is his contract was so important maybe he should have done somthing when we first moved in together.
I just feel like crap because it seems he sees a break up later on.
And I have tried talking to him and all we end up doing is fighting about it.
2006-12-29 00:08:25 · update #1
oh and by the way, he want out with his father to have the rough contract written with out telling me first, then one day he tells me that its there and i sould read it to see what I think.
I was so upset that he didn't tell me what he was going to do. I thought is was somthing we should have talked about first.
2006-12-29 00:15:00 · update #2
It looks like you have two choices, you can sign the contract or break it off. I am guessing he has been married before and he is a little leary of doing it again. Or maybe he has never been married but has heard too much about a person losing it all when they get married. Why does it matter if you are engaged first or not? in all relationships there has to be compromise, it doesnt sound like you are willing, also, maybe he just really doesnt want to get married. That does happen. dont rush him, wouldnt you rather him propose when he is ready? so, my advice is sign the paper and let him propose when he is ready.
2006-12-29 00:00:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been where you are. Honestly if he hasn't married you in the 1st 2-3 years it isn't gonna happen. Clearly he is OK co habitation. He is even going to the extent of a contract. You sign that contract then what motivation will he ever have to take the next step? Do you really want to pressure him into it? That never works out. Just tell him you aren't going in the same direction and want different things. You need to leave him and move on and find someone with similar thoughts on marriage. Good Luck!
2006-12-29 00:03:03 · answer #2 · answered by You Don't Know Me! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My opinion is that you need to back off for a while....do you really want him to marry you if he's not sure if he's ready for it? I certainly wouldn't want to start a marriage that way. If you continue to push him one of two things will happen. 1st, he'll agree to get married and you will always wonder if he said ok to appease you or if he did it because he wanted to and 2nd, you will drive him away by the continuos push to get married. Neither is the outcome you want, is it? Just focus on making your relationship as strong as you can and let him ask you when he's ready. If you feel the need to move on because he won't marry you right now, then I have to wonder if he's the right guy for you in the first place. Think long and hard about this before you make your decision. A prenup is really a contract to protect you both and your assets. It sounds like you 2 need to have a long talk about your relationship. I wish you the best.
2006-12-29 00:02:24 · answer #3 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-31 03:24:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hate to burst your bubble but he's not planning to marry you so why keep wasting your time. If he does marry you he wants everything his way starting with a pre nup. Is this the kind of life you want? At 24 you're the perfect age because you have some experience with men and should know when they are just using you. Dump this prick and find someone that loves and wants to marry you.
2006-12-29 00:02:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, break it off. Ten yrs from now you'll feel foolish for waiting. If he's not asking you, there's a reason. And it's most likely b/c he doesn't want to be married. It may not be personal but NEVER pressure someone to marry you. If they do marry you, you'll both regret it. Why beg someone who doesn't want to be married. I know times have changed, but you know what they say about buying the milk when you can get the cow for free.
Just tell him what you told us: You're done waiting. You need space. One of you should move out. Then see what happens.
2006-12-29 00:02:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is that enough - now seriously, only you can really answer that because it depends on what you want, what would make you happy and what you are willing to settle for. It is obvious that what you want out of the relationship is for him to make a decent lady out of you, ie for him to marry you. In my opinion, if he really wants to marry you, he would have asked or said so earlier, or even agree when you first asked. However, you had to do the asking and do so more than once. You are worth more than he thinks you are and he definitely doesn't deserve you. So do yourself a favour and break it off. It might knock some sense into him and he might realise your true worth. If that happens, then good for you. However, if he doesn't come back knocking on your door, then he wasn't the one for you and you're better off without him.
2006-12-29 00:05:56 · answer #7 · answered by ms_shorea 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My golden rule is this - if it doesn't feel right then don't do it. You don't go into a relationship having planned for the break up - in that case don't go into the relationship.
Say no don't be talked into compromising and don't get engaged as a ploy to keep you sweet when you get engaged book the wedding as part of the deal.
You are young enough to move on - he won't be quite so secure at his age I don't imagine.
2006-12-28 23:59:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you break it off, it will be even longer before he will propose to you. When he is ready, he will do it. All guys want the proposal to be a HUGE suprise, so don't keep asking him. What's the big deal with a co-hab?? If you think of it, it could protect you as much as him. Maybe he is waiting for you to sign it before he asks you?!
2006-12-29 00:04:46 · answer #9 · answered by dwarner33 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Him suggesting a pre nup means he's protecting his material interests and that may be the reason he doesn't wanna marry soon. If u have no prob with it then go ahead it may encourage him tomarry you.
On the other hand he may have used you and is not willing to commit
2006-12-28 23:57:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋