Not looking for sympathy...just answers?

Question

If you met me today you would think I was the happiest go lucky person you've met, however on and off in my life I have been consistenly depressed.

Its not ALL during the year but when I do get depressed it gets to the point of me wanting to find a gun, even though I know I would NEVER pull the trigger, but the thought is still there.

I dont let anyone see me this way, but alone by myself (in my room, and in my head) I feel as if the world is moving but I am not, and honestely my body feels numb (like the numb you feel when you lose somebody close to you) and not to sound "girly" but I also feel that I am on the verge of tears (and yes sometimes "do" cry)

What I was wondering is this a normal depression that everybody goes through, or a depression where I just need to find a hobby to clear it up?

PS I really am not looking for sympathy, just want to know if anybody went through this and what did they do about it.
PSS Please no "I am on the rag" jokes

Answer 1

I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH...

But I don't have a solution yet.

I think I know what's causing it but I don't believe it's one thing or even a couple of things... In fact, my solution may be different from the solution you need... more in a minute (gf calling).

I have never talked about depression before. And I have only known a couple of people well enough to admit that they were depressed but they were depressed for different reasons. One was depressed because of lack of money and the other was depressed because her boyfriend wasn't taking the relationship seriously enough for her - she was ready to get married and he was still bouncing between her and his Ex.

But I think for a lot of people, they are depressed because they are wondering "who they are", or what their "calling in life" is, or what should they be doing to be successful, etc. But this isn't a bad thing. The problem is being able to CONCENTRATE and FOCUS on what you really need to do to be "successful" and to find INNER PEACE....

Maybe "counseling" can help some people but it's what happens afterwards that I think a lot of people worry about. We don't want to have "mental health problems" putting a black mark on our lives or reputation. We don't want to have to pop pills that might make us crazier or "worse off" than we already are. We don't want to be stereotyped or labeled as "nuts" or "looney". And so on and so forth.

Again, I don't have a solution, but I think some of the reasons for not feeling good about yourself could be:

Not being assertive enough
Feeling helpless (or broke)
Not knowing how to communicate your feelings effectively
Not having the right motivators in your life
Not being able to get organized
Trying to be Perfect
Not having a mentor or mentors
Not having the kind of money or lifestyle you would like to have
People not taking you seriously
Unable to focus on one project or idea at a time (maybe ADD)
Constantly worrying about how crazy the World is
Inconsiderate or Irresponsible people (and idiots) in your life
Not having a close friend or someone you can trust or depend on
A boring job that you don't hate enough to leave

A lot of things can cause depression. It really depends on what you want out of life. It also depend on what you want but what's hard for you to get... And you have to be honest with yourself about it.

When you know what you want, then you can establish some goals or a route to get whatever you want. You can create a "masterplan" to improve your life. You may even be able to "catch up" with the rest of the World before too much time passes you by.

I've been depressed over half of my life and I've gotten to the point where I really don't like being bothered with people because the people in my life aren't "on the same page" I'm on. We don't really "click". Even my girlfriend doesn't really understand me. She loves me to death - and I don't know why. (She fusses at me all the time, debates almost every opinion I have, and doesn't follow-through on her words most of the time). Yet I have visitors and people calling me all the time - every single day - and I hate it to be honest. I just need time to myself so that I can think and work on my life without any distractions or intrusions. But this really isn't a good thing...

You should interact with people and network and learn new things relating to what you want to do. Or, new things that can help you in your personal life. Just like I read what you wrote about you being depressed... I thought I was the only one!

And I don't care anymore. I don't care if people know I'm depressed or think I'm crazy. I'm learning what life is really all about. I know what I want, I have a good job, I have the best girlfriend I've ever had in my life (maybe with the exception of her "big mouth" - which I have to tell her about it every week), and I have plenty of books, gadgets, friends, CDs, DVDs, websites, and what-nots, to keep me busy.

But find out what you want to do in life, what kind of relationship you want, and how you can improve yourself (communication skills, being more assertive, being more entertaining, whatever.) Just take your time and be cool about it. If you feel like you need a new style - switch your style up. If you hate your job, save so that you can make a "power-move" and quit. If you're lonely, reach out to more people and in the bunch, you may find a good friend.

Whatever you do, don't waste your time worrying about your past and your future. Work on whatever it is you need to work on, today! This is one of main reasons people get "future shock" - it's because of procrastination! Don't dream about it. Be about it!

You can get over it, but it will take time and you can't give up.

I hope this can put on a good path that'll help you out and I'm glad you wrote about it, because you've helped me too.

take it easy...

Brother DzL (AsP)
"The Player's Lifestyle"

Answer 2

Hi. True depression is not normal, although it happens to a lot of us.
I suffer from Chronic Depression, have had it for many years. People see a happy me on the most part. But when I am home, I am numb sometimes as well. My children help me feel happy!
Medication helps me overcome this feeling. Yeah, sometimes the numbness is there, but only when I let my mind take me there. Also when I forget to take the pills.
** The pills do NOT make you high. They just ease your train of thought to help feel relaxed and not so anxious.

I suggest finding a fulfilling hobby or take up a new leisure activity, like swimming every wednesday night or something, bring a friend or relative.
I think talking to your family doctor is the best thing though. Tell him these feelings, and he can determine if you have depression or is there is another factor.

All the best, and I do hope you feel better. Maybe you need a career change? Are you happy with your job/schooling?
There is always an underlying factor to the way we feel. Try to list all the things that make you feel this way. If you really can not come up with anything, see your doctor straight away. That is a sure sign of depression.

Answer 3

Everyone goes through this phase, some take it harder than others. I had my phase when I graduated from college but couldn't find any job. Number one thing...look for something to do to keep your mind off depression...though drugs are something many people turn to, stay away from them. Make a list of things that you always wanted to do, and try to do them. If you think the world is moving but you are not, you gotta get out there and do something. But I know it is easier said than done...but I really want to help, though I am not a shrink. If you still feel depressed, give it time and you will eventually look back and see that it really was just a phase...ending one's own life is the wrong thing to do because there is always light at the end of the tunnel, and why end your life without seeing the light. It's the worst way to die, and probably the most cowardly. Hang in there bro, life is a blessing...just be happy to be alive and experience as much as you can, if we only live once we gotta take as much in as possible.

Answer 4

Same here! In the class, I'm known as the most playful and cheerful guy. Just like what you said, those who know me today will think I'm the happiest go lucky person they met. However, that was a false strong front that I have been putting on. I want the people around me to be happy, and therefore I'm the main joker in the group. Deep inside me, I'm feeling very empty, I have been entertaining others, but who entertain me?

Depression comes and goes, sometimes without any reasons. Sometimes I have suicidal thoughts, thinking LIFE IS BORING. I keep questioning myself, What are we living for? These is never an answer to this question. However, I didn't give in to any suicidal thoughts I had.

I had GORE images forming in my mind, such as digging my eyes out, cutting off my fingers, feets. Scary isn't it? But I cure it myself. Just remember not to give in to any disgusting thoughts you might have, even it persisted more than 1 month, 1 year, or even 100 years. So when the next disgusting images come, you tell yourself, " what can it do to me as long as i don't give in? ".

I went through all these, in fact more than you. Update me with your conditions =)

Answer 5

I'd talk to a professional. Depression is different in different people as are the solutions. A hobby is a good idea, but if you just start one to stop being depressed, does that mean if you weren't depressed that you would not do that hobby? It seems like if you were interested in something you would do it no matter what anyway, but I'm probably asking too much.
Good Luck.

Answer 6

First of all, depression is something that everyone goes through at some point in their lives. So don't feel embarrassed, and anyone who makes fun of you for being aware of it is hiding their own insecurities.

Since this is something that you've dealt with your entire life, it sounds to me like you are clinically depressed. I went through the same problem. Everyone I tried to talk to about it just told me to "get over it", so eventually I stopped talking about it ... but that didn't change the way I felt.

I talked to my doctor, who told me to take B5 vitamins and go to see a counselor. If that didn't change my situation, then she would consider an anti-depressant. I started going to counseling, and I really learned how to understand my depression ... what triggers bring it on and how to deal with these things. I never had to take any medicine, but my cousin is on Zoloft and my sister takes Cymbalta ... both do really well on them.

If you've been dealing with this on and off your whole life, chances are that its not going to just go away on its own. Do you really want to have to feel like this for the rest of your life? I know that I didn't ... which is exactly what made me step up and do something about it!

Good luck!

Answer 7

I would need to know more, but judging by this it sounds like maybe you are rapid cycling bi-polar?? (up and down, up and down, all the time).

And it's always okay to cry. It releases toxins and really does make you feel better to get it all out.

It sounds like you definitely need seek medical attention for this. If you don't want to go on meds sometimes depression can clear up from just talking to a therapist. Sometimes depression is caused by things in our life and we don't make the connection and put two and two together until someone else does it for us (like a counselor).

Hope you feel better.

Answer 8

We all put on a false front to some extent, but No my friend, if your thinking about ending the pain, it's about deep as you can go..I too suffer from depression and took some meds Doxipin (won't know you on it) and it leveled me out, relaxed me. Now I don't need it. Of course I stopped drinking, got divorced and am happier than I've been in a long time.

Answer 9

No this is a depression that you would have to go to a mental health expert with to resolve. You may need meds. Comes to people and how they would treat you...most people are ignorant and treat people with mental illnesses harshly because they haven't expierienced it. I have so I know this feeling. I have had major depression and manic depression in my life. Go to a doctor when you get that depressed like that because that isn't just a normal up or down like people usually go through...thats beyond.

Answer 10

I can sympathize with you, been there, done that, I finally had to get professional help, this is such a hopless feeling, and the thoughts you have are not new to most people, we all have bouts of depression, but it usually pasts in a few days, but if you are feeling this way more than just a short period of time, then you should find help, go to your family doctor and he can direct you to where to seek help.

My depression was caused by a death to a loved one, I was on meds for a while, but they helped for when I needed the help.
drugs can help, but not to get dependent on them if this is a passing thing.
please seek help !!

Answer 11

I have had depression since my teens(i'm 22 now). I have more bad days than good and i always have suicidal thoughts(though i've never attempted it). I think the key to fight depression is keeping busy,i have alot of time on my hands so get depressed more and have more time to think. Hope you feel better soon. But remember there is no quick fix.