I am middle class with high school studies,reached to executive position in engineering industry earning usd.70 k / year. Educated my son to post graduate level in u.s.a with my own effort. he is well settled with own house and earning usd 200 k / year in world's no.1 city. he told me to leave the job and take care of his 1 year old son. i didn't do it since i am very active at 57 years and wanted to build up my carrer further. now he says that we(parents) didn't do any thing for him and don't want to see us for the rest of his life.. please advise me how to tackle this situation.
2006-12-28 20:18:40 · 7 answers · asked by Ignored parents 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You know sir, you are like my dad, he paid for my education as wewell in the US and I am very thankful, But I am not like your son. He is being very selfish and instead of making it up to you and thanking you, he wants you to be his servant, Please Say no and ask him to wake up. In my religion, Parents come before everything : "Your Lord has decreed that you should worship none but Him, and that you should show kindness to your parents. Whether one or both of them reach old age with you, do not say "Ugh!" to them out of irritation and do not be harsh with them but speak to them with gentleness and generosity. (Surat al-Isra': 23)"
2006-12-28 20:28:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to him that at only 57 in some ways your life is just beginning - now that your son is independent etc you feel you want to keep going still. Maybe you could offer to take part in your grandson' life a bit more, at weekends or holidays, some evenings etc. Explain that you love them both but would only feel resentful giving up everything for them and would therefore not be a very good grandparent. How would your son feel if he was asked to give up his career for his son (when it wasn't really necessary!). Be patient - let them know how much you love and want to stay in their lives - but stand up for your own rights as a human being too!
2006-12-28 20:47:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm terribly sorry your son is acting like a child. Other than his current behavior, I'm guessing you raised him with the belief of working hard for your education so you can earn the means to a more comfortable life style.
What a cruel way for him to behave. Giving his own parent an ultimatum such as that, he should be ashamed, deeply ashamed.
I can't imagine what words you could use to open his bitterful heart and mind in order for him to see that he's done a terrible thing to his own flesh and blood. He owes you a sincere apology.
In the meantime, you can only do what you can. Continue to try and be friendly with him, try talking with him as you did before his major tantrum. You deserve to enjoy you grandchildren without having to quit your job and rear them! He income shows he has the means to afford a good daycare, one that can offer structure for his child.
Best of luck to you, I hope your son wakes up soon.
2006-12-28 20:43:06 · answer #3 · answered by Renny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your son and tell him how you feel. Tell him about your plans and what you would want to do. Assure him that you love him and not going to live with him and takes care of his son doesn't mean that you love him less. Tell him that you care about him and your grandson but you also want to have the best life and one day he and his son will be proud of what you have done. I wish you the best of luck and I pray that you can sort things out with your son.
2006-12-28 20:29:45 · answer #4 · answered by Empress 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is being a manipulative @sshole. you are his parent, not his slave. not spending time with him could be a reason he is like that. but never fall for blackmail. he needs a slap back to reality.
he should look after his own son, you have done your child rearing. tell him to grow up and become a man, not a coward. he can face his own responsibilities himself. perhaps not as harshly as I have spoken though.
2006-12-28 20:33:50 · answer #5 · answered by SAINT G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, sir, my dad did the same 4 me, but i aint like ur son. i suggest that u hustle 2 him "negotiate" as the yankees call it. that theres the best idea i got, sir.
2006-12-28 22:54:33 · answer #6 · answered by Eric H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sons are heartless. It is better to have daugthers than have sons.
2006-12-28 20:24:53 · answer #7 · answered by wonderful girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋