It was ten year ago today that I lost my virginity........I had not had sex since that time!?

Question

I am practicing an unwilling form of abstinence, and I am miserable. I remember the experience as though it was yesterday, her scent has stayed with me:

I was 16 and she 26, it was a fling. Afterwards I was filled with a confidence like never before. Sadly though I have not met anybody.

At first, I just wanted to get laid. But after awhile I just wanted some companionship. Its sad to think about it but I have never had a relationship in my life. The handfull of girls that I have "dated" (Literally 4) it has never gotten pass the courting phase.

I feel like that guy from the movie "the 40 yr old virgin". In fact I am that guy except that I am technically not a virgin; I sometimes refer to myself as a Born-Again virgin...lol.

I'm a nice guy, considerate, friendly, physically fit. I wouldn't say I'm shy, however I am reserved. I don't approach women.

God it has been so long that I stop thinking about it, but from time to time it hits me.

Should I just give up on love?

Answer 1

I think you need to break out of your shell. I also think you need more confidence in yourself. Don't give up. I had a hard time finding the kinda guys I wanted to date because I couldn't break out of my shell unless I was drunk. After getting pissed off enough and meeting all the wrong men I stopped searching, a friend tried to set me with a guy (because he was shy)that was intrested in me and I refused to go out on a date (he refused to take no for an answer)...she said ok how about we go out for drinks, of course I told her ok as long as it is just drinks and she was not allowed to leave me alone with the guy... and instead of going to some club we went to a restraunt. Sadly enough I made my best friend go out on my first date with me and the man who is now my husband. We gave each other the fifth degree, because his experiences were similar to mine. The only bad thing is that he is a very serious guy... or should I say very sober. But I am glad to hear that there are guys not taking advantage of drunk women... and I think the fact that you are saving yourself is awesome.

Answer 2

No, don't give up on love - but don't think you can force the cosmos to bend your way. You're not in control of anything, no human is.

God is. Seek His will for your life. If He thinks you need companionship, He'll provide it.

Movies like 'The 40-year-old Virgin" just try to falsely make people think that not having sex (or much of it) makes you less of a person.

God bless you, and I do hope you find companionship or love.

Answer 3

I would suggest joining some kind of organization, like maybe a wine club. You need practice in learning how to mix and mingle with people. I'll bet you've got a sly, quiet wit. Don't be afraid to say something slyly funny, once you've got a good conversation going. Practice, practice, practice. The most sociable people learn how to get along in almost any social setting. It can be learned, my friend. Don't give up on love, but learn how to be more outgoing, without losing your sense of yourself. You know what I mean. Good luck.

Answer 4

Don't give up or you will end up like me. When you hit the twenty year mark and you are in better shape than most of your friends you will understand the phrase "perhaps this ship will always sail alone." I think it gets branded in your thought process some how, the thought of nobody, nothing and any added critical misfortunes for torture. Speaking of torture I have to prepare myself mentally for the sixth day in a row 90 day seasonal workout. I would find an outlet like I did.

Answer 5

Do you want to just have sex or do you want love? A lot of people get laid all the time and aren't in love, looking for love, or care about love while they are having recreational sex. Sex can be just physical.

If you're waiting to fall in love before you have sex again, that's different than giving up on love so you can have sex. Your question seems to imply that you have to be in love to have sex? There's nothing wrong with waiting, but it can take a long time.

Answer 6

Wow, what a weird question.. Well, go to some type of night club, and go dancing, and I am sure you will meet some one who is right for you. It may not be on the first try. or go to the bar, and play a couple rounds of pool. If all else fails there is eharmony.com it seemed to help alot of people out. And is mostly successful.

Good luck...

Answer 7

never give up on love. i never thought that i would find the man of my dreams and he was right under my nose. you never know when love will come, or how. don't hibernate, get out there and never settle for less than you deserve, i did once and it just took me longer to find my true love. everything happens for a reason and all the bad i went through got me to where i am now, it was worth it. good luck.

Answer 8

don't give up, you're still young.. you will find the right one.Try to be a little more forward, most girls are waiting for that. If you are shy about that then approach women that seem safe, the supportive types.

Answer 9

dont give up.....do more to try to date, i obviously dont know how often you go out or anything, but get out to areas that would have girls that you would be interested in, if you like a girl at work, talk to her...you said you are reserved,...well not a lot of women feel comfy making the first move, if you want the girl, go for her. you have to be willing to take steps to get what you want...good luck. :D

Answer 10

Don't give up just don't worry about it so much.Maybe get on three or four of these internet dating sites and keep trying outside of the sites also. Work on aproaching woman also. If all fails get oral from a hooker.