I have a 4 month old baby and have never lived with my ex boyfrenid we split up a few months ago. Hes a waste of space and has never had a job and just smokes weed at his frenids mostly. im 19 and go to a few baby groups a week but since splittin up with my ex get verry bored been at home every day the day seems very long from 7am or b4. i have post natel deppresin as well. I really love my baby but want to know if other people feel like this and what they do in the day. Im going to college next year but not 4 9 monhs also does it get easier when my baby is older?
2006-12-28 19:50:21 · 31 answers · asked by xkatyallanx 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Someone suggested getting a job and yes, that is what I would suggest. I was on my own with a baby too, and I found that looking after a couple of children every day after school, at their own house, gave me a focus to the day, a reason to get ready and leave the house, and as my baby grew older, some company for him. I also became very good friends with the children's mother who was an older and wiser influence in my life and she kept me sane!
It may not seem like it now, but as others have said, this is a special time when you and your baby are getting to know each other and if you spend some time doing things together - reading picture books and looking at and naming things all around you - the bond between you will grow and your baby's cognitive ability will develop. The post natal depression will pass in time, though you must keep your healthcare preofessional informed about this as occasionally you may need some help with it. Finally, join a local one-parent support group - just being able to talk to others in the same position can be a great support, and they organise practical things like nights out, babysitting, cheap (or even free) holidays and so on.
Incidentally, well done on remaining independent of your b/f who would be an negative influence on you and your baby - you should be proud that you are coping on your own and that you have plans for the future. You are obviously a strong person and I am sure you are going to make a great life for the two of you!
2006-12-28 20:36:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
the answer is yes! I thought I would go 'radio rental' when I emigrated to Spain with a 3 month old and my partner (who was a complete pr*t), so I was isolated in a country with no family, friends, an unsupportive partner (who I left and returned to UK)and a baby (my first). Try not to sit in all day, even if it is just going for walks. I ended up at the local Internet Cafe, with baby in pram, emailing friends/family and surfing the net. Baby was usually asleep at this point, so it gave me an hour to do something myself. If your baby groups are anything like the ones near me, everyone seemed to have a supportitve partner. Is there any chance you could get yourself a little job? I've found returning to work has given me some independence and time away from baby makes me feel I am not just a mother (which is all very nice but am still a young woman too)
Well done for going to college - it will really make a difference.
I wish you all the best, as baby grows, you will find it easier, honestly.
2006-12-28 20:07:03 · answer #2 · answered by Happyface 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You poor girl, you must feel really fed-up. Why not invite one of the other mothers from a baby group to come over and have lunch with you. You should pamper yourself too. You sound like a very sensitive and loving mother but you need to take time out for youself too. Have you talked to your doctor or health visitor about your depression? They may be able to help. Does your family help out, would they be willing to baby-sit once in a while? What are you going to study at college, maybe you could do a little research on your chosen subject, find out what the class is doing this year and get a head start. Good Luck!
2006-12-28 20:04:30 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do all the things you can manage & imagine. Like taking a long walk with your baby, take a nice warm candlelit bath, call a good friend for a long chat on the phone, read a book. Pamper yourself with a manicure, pedicure, and even a massage. Get your hair done. Go for coffee & conversation with a friend. Enjoy the night air. Go to the library and check out baby books, and something for yourself. Go on a date with a nice guy. Make new friends, try http://www.myspace.com Get a gym membership. Stay active in your community, and keep your baby on a daily schedule. This will be a crucial part of your baby's behavior as he/ she gets older. And don't disconnect your self from the world, this will only cause your depression to get worst. I know money can get tight raising children so you can check out http://www.freecycle.org for local listings in your area. It's real people giving good things away completly free.
The most important thing is yours & your baby's health and well being. So take care and good luck!
2006-12-28 20:54:22 · answer #4 · answered by sweetsomething2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People say parenting is a full time job which it is but most when baby is small they can be long periods of nothing to do! How about a nice long walk each day? and getting your food for each day fresh as it gives you something to do? Go and get some book about your studies to fill the time as you may not have that much time to study in 9 months when baby is mobile. Get ahead now. It does get easier and once baby is awake more you will wish you had this time back!
2006-12-28 19:57:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry to hear that, the first thing I would suggest is to visit your doctor or your gynecologist, tell them how you think and how you feel so they can help you if you are suffering from post natal deppression. These symptoms can be very harmful to you and your baby.
To take your boredom away, take a look at PARENTS magazine in your area, there are many groups you and your baby can join that may cheer you up. If you know or go to church, this is also a good group for you to join.
Babies grow very fast, each month is a new development that is totally amazing to watch. Enjoy each moment, as each moment with your baby will not be there forever.
Yes, in time taking care of your baby get easier, for now enjoy her development. She totally depends on you and your love. Love her unconditionally so that her childhood experience are memorable
2006-12-28 20:06:44 · answer #6 · answered by trykindness 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Congrats on the baby. I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I have a 2 1/2 yr old. When I first had him I ended up going back to work after 3 weeks. I was so depressed. After time it started getting better and I was working alot until I realized I wasn't spending that much time with my son. I now am a stay at home mom with him 24/7. We watch movies, color, play hide/seek, walk outside, go to the park, ride around, anything that doesn't take much money. Hope this helps.
2006-12-31 16:43:05 · answer #7 · answered by sunshineprincess032003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hello
its hard i no i have 4 and im 23 lol hope that makes u feel better for a start,its hard to find things to do and i have benn in a simalar situation when my first was so young,if u have many friends make a coffee morning for ur sleves and that gives u some thing to look forward to vist freinds and family or do some thing u enjoy i used to do my art as i8 love to draw,it does get that liuttle bit easier as the grow up as the can entertain them selves but u will always have this prob if u dont break it now and havin pnd on top really does not help as i have had that 3 times toowell im always here to help if you need a chat and try see doc or health visitor if your feeling very low it helps
take care shellie
2007-01-01 08:37:16 · answer #8 · answered by SHELLIE G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should go and speak to your health visitor. They are there to help with whatever you want. They can put you in touch with other young mums so you can make more friends. They can also help with the post natal depression too. Talking to somebody often helps you to clear your head and think clearly. Dont waste time thinking about your ex, he sounds like he isnt worth the bother. Do your parents, grandparents or siblings live nearby? Maybe they can look after the baby for a few hours sometimes or come round to keep you company. And yes it does get easier the older they get, cos you can put them in pre-school and do some things you want to do. I hope you are feeling better soon! :)
2006-12-29 00:45:42 · answer #9 · answered by megz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try and meet some other mums, you could do stuff together. Take your baby out for a walk and get some fresh air and exercise for yourself. When the baby is asleep, take some time to read a book or have a bath and a stretch, do some yoga. Do you have any family who could care for the baby whilst you do an evening class or something like that?
2006-12-29 00:09:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋