I feel like I'll be a single forever, what to do?

Question

Im 21 years old. I know im young. Im from this 4 year relationship and my boyfriend broke up with me. It's been two years since the breakup. And I've never felt confident enough to date again. I avoid guys and sometimes when I do open the door, the wrong one comes in and after a while of courtship would stop. Im starting to feel really bad about myself and I feel so undesirable. Im very much petite and not much of a pretty face and I just dont feel confident to handle relationships. I felt like I did every thing to work out my first relationship but if it didnt work out what would make the next one's work? if there will be a next one? i grew up without a father and i know that it's a biggy but ive tried to change. maybe i was really a headache and a heartache to my ex boyfriend who dumped and maybe id still be on the next one. im not desperate, i just feel that it will never really work for me with relationships and guys dont consider me as a first pick probably last or not even listd.

Answer 1

You won't be single forever, unless you choose it. I have experienced similiar and have had my confidence and self esteem broken after a failed relationship. You need to be around your friends, relax and give yourself some time to work on yourself. I am sorry about you not having a father, I don't know what to say about this? Please talk to friends, family and people you trust to help you through this. Good luck to you, don't give up.

Answer 2

First, you are too young to think like that. So delete this feeling from your mind.

If you don't feel confident to have a relationship, give it a break. Don't think about having it for sometime. Grow your confidence by being among your friends where you don't have to think too much that you may do something wrong. Get your esteem boosted by doing some special activity like learning new art form, or joining some adventure group. Go join some charity organization for sometime.

Come back then and start from the lower most point. Get to know some people (may be among your friends). Be friendly with some, be active. Then go for a relationship. DON'T JUMP INTO IT. Too much hurry spoils the plan.

Whatever happen, everybody is special in some sense or other, so don;t be silly dear, never think that you can't do this or that. You can do everything, once you have decided.

All the best !

Answer 3

I'm SURE you're not the last pick. You sound like a nice, thoughtful person, and guys aren't all about looks. The first thing I would ask is, are you setting standards yourself? Maybe giving someone a chance who is not the first pick off your list might yield fruit. Other than that--i know it's hard to move past that first real big relationship: if you have any advice let me know ;) But i know people do it all the time and find lasting happiness with the people they eventually meet. And you are REALLY YOUNG. Hang in there.

Answer 4

well its obviously not working because of what you described, you are not trying so how can it work any ways...one thing you have to learn is that anything is possible when it comes to the heart, i thought i would never love again as much as i loved my ex and stopped believeing in romance untill i met some other girl and realized that i was never really in love but was just blinded by it and was more in ignorance...u have to see clearly first and stop relating back to ur previous relationship as your ideal relationship because obviously it wasn't...so instead, look to future relationships are your ideal ones, start dreaming again, but i tell you one thing, you must love your self first because even if the right guy comes along and gives you a oppertunity you will just throw it out the window so start working on the most important love in the world, self love...and stop searching so hard! believe me its weird i know but when u are searching you go into tunnel vision and only see what is infront of u and what u want to see and so you really will find nothing but if you stop searching then everything is clear to you and you accept and see all things, wouldnt u think thats the easier way? so chill dude! enjoy the single life before you have like 5 kids crawling all over u...

Answer 5

i comprehend the sensation, i never dated in college, different than a million time.. and all he did became carry my hand a million time, no hug or something (and we dated for 6 months). so ur not the only a million lady. i concept basically like u, heck i nevertheless have not been even hugged romantically. yet I even have got here across love on line.. now im not asserting that's the direction 4 u, or that u wont locate it in authentic. all im asserting is that even tho it seems dark now, there's a million accessible 4 u. (and srry i sound soooo corny, yet yea lol)

Answer 6

let go!! dont look so hard. the more you go out looking the more you get disappointed. try just doing things without thinking about finding mister right. your only 21 when the time is right he will come, until then just date for the fun of dating!! dont go out looking for a serious relationship. when you just get to know people and not exclusily date just one, you will find that you can have fun again and just be yourself!! GOOD LUCK!!!

Answer 7

ok hun.... i know how you feel and yes its hard but you have got to give it another chance... you will miss out on so much if you dont.... just think of all the fun you could be having.... and about that face!! never say your not pretty! EVERYONE... IS! you see i thought i was after me and my "X" broke up... but now i am more confident then ever! just hang out with more girls and they will have friends who have friends you are likely to meet some one who loves you for you!!! TRUST ME!

Answer 8

Chin up. You will date and love again. I promise. It is about acting confidant even if you are not. There will be a man walk in and think you are everything he has always wanted. Don't look for love you will never find it, but if you go on and do thing that make you happy it will find you

Answer 9

you have to believe in your self, and love your self ,it is obvious by your question you dont love your self,im sure you have got lots to give to a guy out there ,but get up off the floor,and dance to the tune of life ,if you are not happy about your self, do some thing about it go to the gym, buy nice attractive clothing,make your self look nice and others will see it in, u good luck young lady

Answer 10

sht,sht,sht,stop this.You cant live your life worrying bout what ifs,not sures n maybes.start to get positive bout your life n what you want.No one got anywhere by thinking they couldnt,anything is possible,just get out there n have fun