I recently discovered that the man I'm dating had received an email from a woman he didn't know. He answered the email and a couple more from this woman and then invited her to meet him for coffee. I feel that the act of inviting and planning to meet another woman even "just" for coffee is being unfaithful...he says it's "just" coffee. What do you think?
2006-12-28 19:13:14 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It might be "Just Coffee" the problem lies in just why are they having that Just Coffee meeting in the first place. Why would he be answering emails from some woman that doesn't know him? sounds like he is answering adds from the personals and has arranged a meeting. Something is so rotten I can smell it from here. There is more going on and if I were you I would get to the bottom of it right away
2006-12-28 19:17:07 · answer #1 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are very insecure when it comes to this relationship. Why is that? Is it because he does not help you to feel that the relationship is 'safe from cheating' - you know he will if he could sort of thing or is it something coming from inside of yourself?
Once you answer that you will be able to talk to him about your feelings on this subject. Would you be so upset if it was a man he was meeting for coffee? Just because the person he is meeting does not have a penis doesn't necessarily mean that he sees them sexually or even thinks of them as more than a friend. See if you can go with when they meet.
I feel that cheating happens when you step over a line that both partners have agreed upon. This is a topic you need to discuss. To some men, a kiss is not cheating, to some women merely looking at someone is cheating. The reverse is true as well.
So, figure out why it bothers you, then lay down some rules.
It sounds like you snooped in his email, if you did, shame on you! Well, unless you had a real reason for it like he has cheated before ;-) Seriously though, if you did and you are worried he might be cheating this does not bode well for your relationship. There is a definate lack of respect from both of you towards the other it sounds like.......IMHO
Good luck, HTH
2006-12-28 19:26:28 · answer #2 · answered by Star 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong by meeting other people for coffee, lunch or diner.... But than he/she would not mind to introduce you as his/ her "the" girlfriend or boyfriend. Which means take you along for one of those meetings. Experiencing cheating or being unfaithful is a value you have been raised with, so it can diverse from your partner, so you have to talk about it, in the sense "what is the limit" example: Is a kiss on a mouth from a stranger allowed (for both of you of course). In some countries it's normal.
2006-12-28 19:27:12 · answer #3 · answered by John Th 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Recently discovered, i would assume this implies you found this out on your own?
I live in a society where such a thing is immeadiately considered cheating, and I personally believe that it is.
However, i had lived in the US for 7 years, and i will answer by what I percieved as the US way of life. He's not as serious about you as you are about him. He is still looking around. He hasn't cheated but he is not committed.
I don't think you should be as concerned about wether the act is cheating or not. You're obviously uncomfortable about it and rightly so. But you're feeling uncomfortable because you have to decide what to do, not wether the act is right or wrong. You're being pressured to accept this act as right by alot of factors, when you innately feel its wrong.
I say go with your instincts, and ditch the loser.
2006-12-28 19:30:42 · answer #4 · answered by whoareyou 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You guys are a bunch of MAN HATERS... But ok. First how did you find out? did he tell you straight or is he doing it behind your back. I am not gonna call it cheating but I would say it was not honest if you found out any way other him telling it straight. @nd if it is "JUST COFFEE" Say you would love to go along to meet his new found friend. If it is on the up and up he will bring you. if not then there is the answer! Don't hate but be careful/
2006-12-28 19:21:54 · answer #5 · answered by Princess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't define that as cheating, which to me is basically physical contact. But that still leaves a whole lot of disturbing stuff that isn't physical eh? So I'd say, it's not cheating; whether it's nothing or something depends on the situation. I've had coffee both ways :)
2006-12-28 19:17:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well what would he think if you were inviting men to meet you. he would think that your mind was wandering from him, just like you suspect of him. True just coffee at the coffee house but what is the whole meeting for, i doubt just for coffee, stop believing him
leave him!
Or invite other men out for coffee and see if he likes it
2006-12-28 19:30:39 · answer #7 · answered by Miss Green 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is cheating. Don't even think about buying his little "just for coffee" excuse. Why on earth would he meet another woman "just for coffee" if not to find out if there could be more in store for him? Lose him.
2006-12-28 19:15:11 · answer #8 · answered by Liz 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He is looking for other women to score with he is not being true to you or your relationship. If I were you I would end this relationship before he ends up hurting you in the future. He has already shown he doesn't care about hookiung up with other ladies when he is with you. Dump the jerk I bet if you said okay I met this guy I'm going to meet him for a coffee he would be furious. Good Luck with whatever you decide.
2006-12-28 19:20:45 · answer #9 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
when he got curious to answer the email and set up a date for coffee to check out this new women. HE'S CHEATING!!
2006-12-28 19:22:25 · answer #10 · answered by JANE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋