Tell or not ....?

Question

My son has been recently diagnosed with ADHD and is 8 years old. Should I t inform the school and see what special serices they may have to assist him. On the other hand, he is African-Amrican and I do not want him labeled as a problem child, or have this documented in his school record, or recieving "special treatment". Our psych doc said he has a mild case and it shall ot require medication, just behaioral therapy in which I agree. Many of the problems are external and can be adjusted. I am wondering should I nform the school to recieve reinforced help, or am I setting him up for trouble and labeling.

Answer 1

Talk to the principal, so that the people who are always in contact with your son are aware, and are sworn to secrecy so as not to embarrass your baby, and help him in the process.

Answer 2

You were concerned enough to seek out the professional opinion of your doctor.Your child may need some of his work modified so he is able to get the most from his education.The principal,teachers and support staff will form an education plan for your child.Your son will not be automatically offered services unless your son has been identified as needing special resources. You will be helping your son.You can't blame the school for failing your son ( in general) if you are not honest with them.School records are confidential and all school faculty must also respect that confidentiality. As a good parent you will want the best for your son. In this case silence would not be golden but a crying shame. Do the right thing mom.

Answer 3

Well, first ask yourself if he's having problems at school. If he's not, it's probably best to just let it lie and not worry about it unless something comes up. It is entirely possible that as he gets older, without supports in school, he will have more trouble than he is now.

On the other hand, if he is having trouble already, then this will help quite a bit. He sounds like he's mild enough that they cannot use it as an excuse to put him in a resource room. He'd stay in his regular room, and just get extra support in maintaining calmness and learning how to study in a manner that fits his style.

As a parent, you have equal say under the Individuals with Disabilites Education Act (IDEA). If you son has a diagnosis, he would automatically qualify for assistance under an IEP, although the school will want to evaluate him with a psychological test to see where exactly his strengths and deficits are. Sometimes schools are very well qualified to help your child, and sometimes they just make matters worse. There's no way of knowing until you're in the trenches.

Good luck

Answer 4

I think it depends on your son's school. It also unfortunatly depends on how your son is likely to be perceived. I went through some trouble with my daughter's school, she was in Kindergarten and First grade, she does not have ADHD as it turns out but it was amazing how fast after it was mentioned as a possibility that she became a problem child in their eyes. We are not African-American, just low on the income scale. After ADHD was mentioned whenever a kid started to bully her, the same kids that were bullying her before it was mentioned, I would get told that she just was not socializing. She had kids hit her and throw things at her but it all became her fault. I would be very wary of letting the school or teacher know. If at all possible I would go to your son's school and help out to see what your son is like in the classroom. I would also try and see if there are any other kids in his class/school with ADHD, if you can find out who the kids are strike up conversations with their parents to find out how their experiences have been. I have not heard of any school yet that would not put the diagnosis in his school record and any trouble that he is ever involved in will reflect that. If you are unsure of his behavior at school and if he has a good, understanding teacher I would try saying that he is acting up a bit at home and while it seems to be age appropiate you're wondering what his behavior is like at school. Of course this might not be a good idea if he has been in trouble or singled out already because then it could just lead to everything being his fault and the school insisting that he needs to be drugged. I think that behavior modification is a wonderful idea and the earlier it is started the better. I am now homeschooling my daughter (now 8) and she now can make friends with just about any kid that she meets, but does not feel pressure to be around kids whose behavior she does not like. Most important make sure your son knows that there is nothing wrong with him and that he is loved and he will blossom.

Answer 5

Get a second opinion before you tell anyone ANYTHING. A "mild case" of ADHD could also be a food allergy, high metabolism, being bored, acting out because of a bully.... you also could tell them teacher after a short period once she has an opinion of him.

My youngest was scheduled to be put in a behavioural class. I visited the class - kids running around with a windex bottle, stabbing each other with pencils... you want your son to have GOOD influences so this is what you want to avoid.

If you could trust the teacher to have an open mind, you could say that he is suspected to have a mild case of ADHD and he is going through further testing. Never take the first opinion. Ever!

Answer 6

If your child has ADHD believe me, his teachers are already aware there is a problem. Your job is to be your son's advocate. If he has a diabetic problem that had to be monitored in the classroom you would want his teachers to know exactly how to deal with it, wouldn't you? You particularly want to be on the same page if you are going to use behavioral therapy - in order to reshape his social behavior he needs to be treated the same way at school and home. Make an appointment to talk to his teacher when you will have plenty of time. Don't take him. Do take notes about your doctor's suggestions. Act as if you assume that you are allies and that naturally she will want to do the very best for your son. Ask for her suggestions and input and treat them respectfully. She is an important part of your team - use her as such.

And just a note that I am making to everyone - it only takes a second to run the spell check and it attracts more people to your question.

Answer 7

Grrr . . . I hope he isn't labeling anything. It's makes me mad as he--, eh, madder than a wet hen that government schools feel they must document every minutia of a child's life. The problem a child has in grade school should NOT affect how he's seen by authorities in later grades.

I really hate to break it to you, but this is a sort of "danged if you do but danged if you don't" situation, depending how stupid the school your son goes to is.

Hopefully, it's not as stupid as the one that charged a *four-year-old* with sexual harassment.

Is there any way that you could work with him privately, both with specialists and home therapy? My parents never paid mind to my psych problems and I've PAID and am still paying.

Answer 8

The more information schools have on a child the better. He willneed help. There are heaps of kids at our school that have some form of ADHD and get help and on medication.You are helping the teacher by informing them of his condition so they know how to to treat him accordingly and to his needs. If you hide his condition he will not be able to manage without support.

Answer 9

I wouldn't tell them anything, ADHD is diagnosed so much now, the school told me to have my son checked for ADHD, when I asked the Dr. he told me that there was no exact science to detect it and it's mostly based on what the teachers at the school think, I changed my sons school and his grades and his behavior improved, all he needed was a smaller school! good luck hope I helped some.

Answer 10

If you think the school will not use it against him then tell them. I have a ADHD child and I had to pull him from a school because as soon as they got that offical paper stating he was adhd they started saying he was violant and a problem. It seamed funny since just the day before he was the sweetest kid in their words. Now the school he is in knows of his problems and they use it to help him.

Answer 11

By now, I'm sure you've had at least one parent conference with the teacher (when report cards were released). You have some idea of what your son's teacher is like. If you think your son's teacher would work with you to help your son, then talk to him/her. If you think your son's teacher would be quick to label your son as a problem, then no. Just my personal opinion.