my son is 17 months old when i try and tell him not to do something he just laughs at me?

Question

but when my partner tells him he listens why??

Answer 1

My son used to be just as cheeky too, and I was initially a frustrated first mum until I realised that this cheeky side of his is quite infectious! Try laughing along with him, joke around and have a good laugh yourself - Be firm when you ask him to do the serious stuff and in time, he will soon learn the various limits put on him...

Answer 2

Possibly you are with him more. It usually follows that the main carer is listened to less because they know what they can get away with. Give very clear boundaries and do not change them or they will get confused. i.e. do not touch the fire should not mean it's ok to touch it when it's not on. When he does something you don't want him to do go down to his level and look him in the eye. Say "no" firmly and stop him doing whatever it is. Do this every time he does it and be consistent. Ask your partner to back you up when you are doing this as you both need to be on the same page.

When he is a little older you can try using the naughty step. It works great. A minute on the step for every year of their life. Once they get off they must apologise. Just the threat of it is enough after the age of 3. Don't ask me why they stay there - they just do.

Answer 3

You don't mention whether your the primary caregiver but my guess is that you are. Well of course he laughs at you - he's pleased that he has got a new reaction from you - isn't he clever for making his Mommy shout!! Toddlers spend a lot of time figuring out how to work Mommy and Daddy - he spends more time with you so he knows much better how far he can push you. You might find that simply distracting him from his unwanted behaviour or physically moving him away from something he shouldn't be doing might work. For example my eldest would play merry hell in the supermarket sweet aisle - my response was to sing nursery rhymes at a deafening volume and speed past the offending aisle!! Unconventional but effective. My Mum (who was a pre-school teacher) always takes the distraction approach, e.g. 'ooh look what's this!', and ' What's that over there?1 Just try being totally over the top when you say it - you'll feel a bit daft! My Mum has never had a 'problem' child in 35 years - and she's never shouted at one either.
You might also find that lots and lots of over the top praise for when he's doing the right thing might help for when you do have to say no. Try using the guideline of 10 praises for 1 No - so try to say 10 nice things before you have to tell him off, e.g 'oh look how nicely your sitting', or 'you are a good boy drinking your juice' etc, again, you might feel daft - but you might end up a whole lot less stressed.
Good luck with whatever you do.

Answer 4

You need to have boundaires and stick to them. If he knows he can get away with stuff then he will - and even at 17 months he knows how to get away with things! Be firm and consistant and stick to your guns about dealing with unacceptable behaviour. He is maybe too familiar with you and even though you are his mum you need to show that you have rules as well as unconditional love for him. You don't stop loving him just because you give him a row. Let him know you mean business - whether it be a naughty step/corner/taking away a toy - whatever you decide upon, stick with it and he'll soon know that you are to be repected as his mother as well as someone to have fun with. Don't lose the rag with him as this is a good response as far as he's concerned. I have 3 boys aged from 2 to 7 and I have had to employ different tactics for each one - you need to find the way that works for you. With the 2 year old he is given time out in the porch (as there are no distractions/toys/other children there) and if I see unacceptable behaviour starting all I need to do now is say 'you're going to the porch' then he brings himself back into line. He doesn't like it and so it's a good deterrant! He was only put about 3 times before the effect kicked in (and that was before he turned 2). Having kids should be a delight - not a constant battle and every child needs rules to grow up knowing that life has boundaries and that certain behaviour will not be tolerated.
Good luck finding the right thing for you.

Answer 5

just wait until he gets older and stops laughing at you and starts swearing at you, seriously though now is the time to clamp down, i have 4 children from 9-15 and have learnt from exp that if you don't clamp down now then the older the children get the less respect they have for you, even though you're son is still young i suggest you start being firm, tell you're partner to back off on the disciplin for a while and leave it to you, then be firm,at the end of the day ,there has to be respect and laughing at you means that you're son doesn't think you are serious and will not follow through with any threats you make, try altering the tone of you're voice or bring in a system where he gets one warning then a punishment, don't ignore this problem it will only get worse, good luck, you will have to tough it out for a while and be the bad guy, but you're sons respect will be worth it

Answer 6

I understand that most mommys are foolish enough to believe the hype that you shouldn't spank your child. But God Said, "Spare the rod and spoil the child."

Your child is laughing at you because he has not experienced any real consiquenses for his actions. If you don't want to spank, fine... lock him in his highchair and face him towards a bare wall until he has his fit and settles back down again and chant to him very slowly so that he will understand the words you say (him barely having a grip on the language at all) YOU WILL DO WHAT MOMMY TELLS YOU TO DO OR YOU WILL SIT IN THE CORNER. Make sure he has nothing to do and ignore the crying, it's good for his lungs.

Sound mean? It's meaner to allow a child to grow up with a sence of entitlement that will only foster child delinquency. What happens when a spoiled brat grows up an suddenly is faced with the shocking fact that he can't just do what ever he likes? It is really psycologically damaging. And you really only need to be tough on them for the first 5 years... then you will have made your permanent impression and child will be much more respectful of your authority and give you much less trouble.

I didn't know this for my first... he's a 10 year old terror... but my second is now 7 and an angel, my 3rd is now 6 and very well behaved... my 4th is 2 1/2 and learning her lessons now. I am winning this war... the hype you hear on the news and the radio and in books only works on imaginary children. Every kid is different and the level of dicipline must be adjusted for each child... I personally deserved and am grateful for every spanking I got...

Be tough, but loving and he will respond to it in a positive way.

Answer 7

Well hes only 17 months old at that age I don't think you can expect them to really understand you telling them not to do something, they have a lot to learn about how to behave. Instead of saying no, don't do that and expecting a response just distract them with a toy or game or physically take them away from whatever they were doing. You have plenty of time for teaching them manners and discipline when they pass 2.

Answer 8

Dont worry. My son does this all the time and it changes between us both. Most of the time he listens to his father and laughs at me but keep trying. Your son is testing the boundaries and will see how far he can take it with you both, he has probablly already worked out that he cant get far with your partner thats why he listens. All children test boundaries.

Answer 9

My god son is around the same age and he's exactly the same, he spends more time with his mother than his father but does excaclty what his father says and doenst seem to listen to his mother.

Working professionally with children under 2 has given me a real insight of their behaviour, ive found they choose not to listen to the people they are closest to and children aged 16 months to 2 years play up because they are trying to figure out how much they can push you.

Don't take it personally it's just a stage they go through most toddlers do through this stage and i promise you the do grow out of it.

Answer 10

an episode in oprah tackles situation on how to handle this. try scanning her website.

an Example: place the child in a mat in one corner of the room. tell him what he did wrong and what is the right thing to do. Then let him sit alone for a few minutes facing the wall telling him that he can only leave until he knows what he did.

Addtnl Psych Info: If he goes into temper tantrums, ignore him no matter how he pleas or cry. He will eventually get tired and calm down.

Best Advice: Ask for God's Help

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