All the guys that I really like who show an interest in me I'm really awful to - ignoring them or calling them "stupid" "juvenile" "dull" "boring" "hate that shirt" "hate your haircut" just immature behaviour.
I have done this with every single one,It's really irriating because eventually they give up and i'm sad. is it a self defence mechanism??
To guys i'm not interested in i'm friendly/kind,it's the ones I feel a strong emotion for that strong reaction out of me.
HOW TO STOP??
I fear if i'm nice to the guy he'll hurt me or won't like me.
2006-12-28 18:00:44 · 17 answers · asked by rusalka 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
lol... well, from the sounds of it, you're just scared of being hurt...
all I can tell you is this...
everyone gets hurt... you're going to get into relationships, some will probably hurt you, and you'll probably hurt some also... love and the search to find it is kind of a bitter-sweet thing sometimes... it's something everyone comes to accept at one point or another... but one day, you'll meet someone who's NOT going to hurt you... someone that you truly want to spend the rest of your life with... the only thing I can tell you for sure is, you'll never meet that person if you don't open up your emotional side a little....
if you're scared, the best advice I can give you is to go slow! There's no need to rush things and jump right into a relationship... that will get you hurt almost every time... just start off as friends, and if the emotions build for both of you, don't ever be afraid to show it... if you keep those emotions inside, that person(s) might never know how you feel, and it turns into an opportunity lost... life throws you lots of pitches... if you don't swing the bat, you're going to strike out... but if you swing, there's a much better chance at hitting a home run...
Good luck... just take it slow... ; )
-Luke
2006-12-28 18:13:20 · answer #1 · answered by luke 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You answered your own question - you're acting that way because you are afraid of being hurt, that's why you are friendly with guys that you are not interested in and as soon as you feel that you are interesting in somebody you're starting to act like *****.
My advice - just take it easy, put away your fears and remember "you have to learn to crawl, before you learn to walk" - so you may get hurt before finding someone special. Just accept life as it is, you will never really feel life if you will be afraid of everything.
Good Luck!
2006-12-28 18:10:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say you need to get to the ROOT of the problem there is something else other than you being mean and nasty or whatever words you chose. Something has happened in your life that has lead to this behavior and until to pin point and correct it you probably will keep pushing guys away.
2006-12-28 18:04:31 · answer #3 · answered by Marina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be yourself, you don't have to be over friendly to guy that had shown interest in you, neither do you need to be that kind or firiendly to guy that you are not interested. Just be natural and sincere and people around you will like you. Make friend first before selecting your loved one.
2006-12-28 18:05:01 · answer #4 · answered by burr burr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your putting up walls to protect yourself emotionally. I would look into some books from the library on breaking through your insecurity and intimacy fear issues. Check several out and find one you like. That way you don't blow money finding one you don't like. If you find one that is helpful you can always purchase it then.
2006-12-28 18:03:29 · answer #5 · answered by Wicked Good 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You're hurting them before they can have a chance to hurt you. But chasing them off hurts you anyway, so you're not really saving yourself from sadness, are you?
No one wants to get hurt. Everyone wants to be loved. You have to be brave enough to put yourself out there, just like everyone else is brave enough to do so.
2006-12-28 18:04:31 · answer #6 · answered by SLWrites 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like you haven't found i guy that will put in your place and keep you in check. you have two options keep doing what you're doing and MAYBE find someone that will take charge and break through the brat barrier you put up or be a little less condescending and see how things workout.
2006-12-28 18:07:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like something in your past. Find out where it comes from and it should start to solve itself. If you cannot do it alone seek help.
2006-12-28 18:04:26 · answer #8 · answered by Magus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea i believe you are right about you trying to not get hurt. i believe you have to trust your heart and now that you know what you are doing, and wont get hurt. now that you know the problem there is room for improvement and you can be nice to the guy instead.
2006-12-28 18:04:04 · answer #9 · answered by loverly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell them if you say rude things to him that means you want to sleep with him or emotonialy related to him.))
Ä°t s usual woman behaviour dont woryy .U ll grow and find a way.
2006-12-28 18:05:38 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋