How do you get over jealousy in a relationship?

Question

I'm in a wonderful relationship (2 and a half years) but I'm extremely jealous when it comes to my boyfriend and other girls. We are in a long distance relationship (past year) and I get so upset whenever he hangs out with his friends and there are girls there. I know this is wrong and probably has something to do with my ex cheating on me and my insecurities. But what can I do to get through this? :(

I have talked about this with him and we discuss it all the time. We fight about it a lot but I just can't help how I feel. We love each other VERY much....I wish there was some sort of magical answer!

Answer 1

It's really difficult to get over your trust issues when you've been burned before. You need to constantly remind yourself that it's not fair to project your past relationship onto your current boyfriend. If you don't work through this issue it could damage the relationship. You don't want him to feel like he is going to be accused and have to deal with your jealousy anyway so might as well give you something to be jealous about (Actually happened with a friend of mine).
The most important thing is to remember it's you he loves, you he comes home to and you he wants to be with. Put yourself in his place, how would you feel if he projected some of the issues with past girlfriend onto you?
If you really can't move foward and it's crippling you from having the relationship and peace of mind you deserve perhaps it's time to get some professional help. It sounds as if it has become posts traumatic stress and until you seek help you will continue to bring this emotional baggage with you.

Answer 2

Your relationship issue is a problem I can relate to (long distance for 4 and extreme jealousy on her part)! A question I ask you to consider is: "Do you have guy friends that you hang out with". If your answer is yes, then how does your partner respond to them. If he trusts you, he won't care about your other friends; if he's given you the benefit of his trust then why not give him his? Last gal I dated got jealous often (like you, but knew she was going out far on a limb by accusing me of cheating), and when she vanished it really ruined my trust in others and it didn't help me respect her during the relationship b/c I knew she didn't trust me like I did for her. Since you feel that you are in the wrong, I would say you know he's trustworthy and deserves to have your trust (if I understand you correctly), I would stop with the accusations and use this relationship to grow from the past. The magical answer is: find your inner-value. It would stop your fights and bring your relationship to another level.

Answer 3

You're in a long distance relationship, of course you're insecure and jealous. That's part of why LD relationships don't work. Because the fact is, no matter how much you love him, you're not there. You don't really know what he's doing. He can tell you every last detail of his day, but you're not there, so you can never truly be sure.

You can try telling yourself that everything is fine, he loves you, and you trust him, whenever you get that jealous, nagging feeling that something is going wrong. But other than just making yourself put such thoughts out of your head, there's no cure as long as you're apart. Good luck.

Answer 4

First off, talk to him about it. Not just tell him, but actually talk to him about it. Second learning to trust when your past tells you not to is a hard thing to do. Do you TRUST him? Ask yourself that every time you think about it. If the answer is no, then maybe its not good to have a long distance relationship. Or a relationship at all, after 2 1/2 years if there isn't enough trust maybe something else is wrong.

Answer 5

solid concepts Sunray73, i believe that you at the instantaneous are not the basically guy feeling this manner. in short perchance even some females experience an same or in the different case empathise with you. i recognize that once you opt for to open your heart and love someone in go back as a lot as they love you, you received't cause them to jealous. Making your significant different jealous contains kinds of speach and behaviour that arouse doubt and distrust on your significant different. risky and uncertain or evasive messages each and every now and then bring about jealousy pushed movements. Distance, differences in habit, mood swings, searching at different individuals in a flirtatious way once you're mutually with your mate...such issues as this won't exist, and reason jealousy. complete believe is complicated to acheive, why each and every now and then human beings experience that the numerous reason they are interested of their mate is through what's mysterious and unknown to them, typically that's what retains them fascinated, dispite of the jealousy. although, that's nonetheless complicated to thoroughly believe and easily then can jealousy vanish, except some personality disease is modern-day and the events choose psychotherapy. I propose self-evaluation previously blaming your mate of jealousy and savour the journey truly then focusing too a lot on what does not very last besides even if it isn't ment to be, and develop into infinite regardless of the gap between you if that's certainly authentic love. that's going to very last continuously.

Answer 6

The best thing to do is to talk this out with your boyfriend and knowing for sure that he is not you and no one else. it's basically a trust issue, since your ex cheated you've had a wall between you and the trust part of a relationship. Jealous isn't always a bad thing, at least it shows that you care <3

Answer 7

What? No, no, no. You have every right to be jealous when he is hanging out with other girls. Listen, this is "righteous anger". That is when you have every right to be jealous/mad/angry at something that occurs. Now, I'm not saying you should start telling him that you hang out with tons of guys all the time, I'm saying that you should, at very least, tell him that this makes you mad. You sound kind of passive, but look, all you need to do is to tell him. If he really wants to keep a relationship with you, he won't hang out with them anymore (or not as much). If he doesn't want to keep you, he just won't care.

Don't let him say something like "Oh, at least I'm telling you that I hang out with them", just state what you feel.

Answer 8

ok so, in my opinion, trust and honesty is the foundation of any relationship. if u find that you have trouble trusting the guy you're with or you find that the trust isn't there... the relationship.. just isn't there...

You're with the guy... HE CHOSE YOU. yes, he hangs out with other girls... heck... there's always going to be other girls around... that's just the story of life. you have to be able to trust that he can go out with other girls... and not want to do them all..

i understand that perhaps ur scared.. cuz of your ex...
but realize this is a DIFFEREnT guy.. and if u really want to be with him... then you gotta trust him.

or maybe... u just aren't ready for a long distance relationship.

Answer 9

Just remember that if he wants to cheat he will do it with or with out your jealousy...So you are worrying your self for no reason...If he loves you he will not cheat..So keep telling yourself that he loves you as much as you love him and keep yourself busy when the situation occurs..Does he make you feel loved? If he is doing his part then you should do yours and be an understanding, confident girlfriend!! Don't worry your self with things that you have no control over that will make you go crazy..

Answer 10

i have no idea but when you find out please tell me
but a lot has to do with trust how much do you love him ? a relationship will never last if there isn't a strong amount of trust between two people, if he is really that important get over your insecurities before you losse him.
everyone will always be a little jealous