I have lived with my bf since I was 16, now 23, in college, we are on diff. pages as he is a lot older than me. Feel as though I am missing out on life, dating, etc. We are not married, no kids but he's such a great bf, he treats me like a princess I feel like if I ever leave, there wont ever be any man that treats me the way he does. But I feel very confused, help!!!!!!
2006-12-28 17:38:07 · 17 answers · asked by adrian 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I just go to school, work and come home, I dont go out, party, or date and theres guys who really like me but know I am off limits b/c I have been w/ my bf so long.
He says we aren't financially ready to be married yet..
2006-12-28 17:46:45 · update #1
He is also 10 years older than me and I am 23 and heading into my prime..
2006-12-28 17:54:54 · update #2
Sounds to me like you are ready to move on. Make sure you know what you want before you get married or have children. Could be you are just wondering what else is out there, but it could also be that you don't want to be with this man for the rest of your life. Sounds like you don't want to be without him in case there is nothing better out there.
It's a very difficult situation. One you better think over very carefully because on one hand you don't want to spend the rest of your life wondering what you missed out on. And on the other you don't want to spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been had you just stayed together.
I personally married very young and about your age began wondering if I was missing anything. As the years passed I watched as my friends searched and searched for a good man. I have seen that it is they that missed out not me. I'm happily married with 4 kids. We just celebrated our 17th wedding anniversary. We go out to clubs almost everyweek, concerts, dinner and such. Nurturing your relationship is the key. Most of the friends who thought I was giving up so much to get married and settle now all say how lucky I am to have such a great husband.
My best advice is this, if he is your best friend then you should stick with him. I married my best friend and that is key. All marriage takes work, we have grown together rather then growing apart. There is no reason why you can't go on exciting dates, travel and do other things.
My heart goes out to you on this one!
2006-12-28 17:44:35 · answer #1 · answered by Wicked Good 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, if you're financially able to live together, you're financially able to be married. The fact is, if he wanted to marry you, he would have. He wants you in his bed, but he doesn't want to take any real responsibility for you.
Is he really a great boyfriend, or do you just have nothing to compare him to? Does he treat you like a woman with your own brain, thoughts, dreams, desires? Or does he treat you like a child, telling you what you should want or explaiing how life really is?
You're feeling the itch to experience other things because you're in the prime years of turning into an adult. People change more between the ages of 20 and 26 than any other time. Maybe you're starting to see that there is more in life for you to experience. Kudos on not having children. That gives you a LOT of options for change.
2006-12-28 17:53:29 · answer #2 · answered by SLWrites 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is because you've been with him for so long and you want to switch it up and experience life in a different way
and this is normal.BUT you'll be making a big mistake if you cheat him or be disloyal to him. Pick days to go out with your friends and have some fun, but innocent fun. If he treats you like a princess(there are few men out there like that including my fiance)dont do anything to hurt him. You guys love each other, thats obvious.You're not missing out on anything special.Its really nothing out there better then having a long lasting love.Like I said plan something with your friends and hang out ..and have a good time....you just cant date other guys.If its like that maybe you need some time apart to see HOW MUCH U REALLY APPRECIATE HIM! :) Do the right thing and good luck Sweety.Happy New Year!
2006-12-28 17:48:39 · answer #3 · answered by ♥ Loving My Babyboy ;) ♥ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If this is a serious concern for you maybe you should ask him could you guys have an open relationship for a while or go on a break for a few months. That's the only way to keep ties with him and explore you're other curiosities - which are perfectly natural for someone your age and level of experience. He may not go for that though and it may come down to a choice - him or freedom to do your own thing and lose him. If it comes down to that choice - which would be understandable from his point of view - you should probably stay with him. The whole point of dating for most people is to find the kind relationship you already seem to have!
2006-12-28 17:48:52 · answer #4 · answered by T M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't used the word "love".
Anyway, read on:
The seven-year itch - that vague uneasy, nothing's-right-in-my-world mood that occurs every seven years or so - is known to cause folks to have a mysterious urge to leave their jobs and their marriages or move across the country.
We tend to experience cycles of discontent every five to 10 years with the average cycle happening every 7 1/2 years. You can make this itch work for you.
Adulthood is not a plateau. We continue to grow throughout life and, although we all have our own rhythms of change, we generally proceed through alternating developmental and transition periods.
Transitions are times for questioning who we are and where we want to go. During developmental periods we make commitments to and work toward desired goals.
At the same time we also experience the career cycle of entry, mastery and disengagement. During entry, we're enthusiastically learning new job tasks. In mastery, we're competent, confident and productive. If we're no longer challenged by our job duties, we become bored and lose enthusiasm, productivity and confidence. This disengagement stage of the career cycle tends to parallel the transition stages of the life cycle.
Traumatic experiences such as job loss, illness or death of a loved one often precipitate re-evaluation of who we are and where we want to go. If we come to terms with developmental issues during transitions, we can emerge stronger people.
Best of luck.
2006-12-28 17:46:08 · answer #5 · answered by Sunflower 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very rare to find a man that treats you like a princess after 7 years. I wouldn't trade that for anything especially to go out to a club that feels like a meat market so a man can pick you out of a crowd of girls as the one he wants to have sex with that night and never call you after that.
Sounds like you and your bf just need to go on an adventure together. As long as your living your life to the fullest then you're not missing out on anything.
2006-12-28 17:45:34 · answer #6 · answered by Butterfly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life is about making choices and living with it. Its strange how everyone only learns things the hard way, but there are not too many people in this world you can find that treat you right. I hope you realize that sooner than later.
2006-12-28 17:44:30 · answer #7 · answered by Need Answers 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your lucky to have meet this kind of man. I know how you feel though about wanting to see and date other people but trust.. there will never be another one like the one you have. Dont ever leave the one you love for someone you like, it will come back to haunt you.
2006-12-28 17:46:24 · answer #8 · answered by JT 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are just doubting yourself. Not everyone is lucky to find a wonderful man and trust me there aren't many out there LOL ! I would say stop wasting you worries on this stuff and enjoy each other.
2006-12-28 17:44:05 · answer #9 · answered by Marina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont be confused over this.You are not missing out on life as lon as you are having fun,and ect.I am glad your GUY treats you like a princess.
2006-12-28 17:41:03 · answer #10 · answered by Jessica P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋