What is the best way to pursue a relationship with a woman who has a kid?

Question

the kid is 18 months old

Answer 1

Ok for all who said you are better off not doing it and it's extra baggage-GROW UP!!! This woman has a child not a disease. I know alot of men that have children and the women they date have to accept. In answer to your question, which I can answer from experience since I have an 18 month old and have been dating someone for a few monthes-make sure to never act like she doesn't have a child or that responsibility first. If you ask her out on a Friday night and she can't find a sitter, rent a movie and order take out. Involve her child in activities, go to the park or see a cartoon flick at the theatre. Don't revolve your relationship around the child, but be active in her life as if you were her. Help her when she has 18 things to carry. Be a nice guy and accept the fact that she may have been really hurt in the past, may have trust issues, and may really hate her childs father. You can make it work. My boyfriend has no problems staying home and watching movies-even if it is the Lion King for the 100th time. But I know he likes to go out, so I find someone to watch my daughter for a few hours every weekend so we can spend time together. Don't let your relationship revolve only around the child. If she isn't willing to spend quality time with just you and her and wants you to watch her child and only do things with the child-maybe she's looking for a live-in babysitter. Sorry to say but it does happen. Having a child is a blessing, not extra baggage. Good luck

Answer 2

With a lot of consideration. And, lots of pre-planning never hurts.

--Is this casual dating or do you think it could get serious? You're likely to get "attached" to some degree or other to the child, so be prepared and go into this with your eyes open.

--Do help arrange for/chip in the cost of child care--she'll not only thank you for it, but appreciate it, and you, all the more.

--Plan for some activities at home or near home--picnic in the park or the back yard, a game night, pizza and a movie night, and some that would definitely include the child. (If no sitter can be found or afforded and you really can't take Jr. with you.)

--Be helpful, flexible, and understanding if something does come up suddenly--and with kids it's not surprising that it will. For example, the child is running a fever, the kid catches something and is contagious, the sitter bails...

Good luck. You sound like a great guy already just for being thoughtful and asking. She'll appreciate that lots.

Answer 3

You may try inviting her to one of those children's restaurants like Chuck E. Cheese. She will think that you are sweet her child will adore you for including them and the Mom will be happy that you understand that she needs to spend time with her toddler. You could also find some age appropriate games to play when you visit. I will tell you one thing if you don't make friends with this little person then your relationship will never go anywhere. Besides little kids that age are just adorable and you will be helping the mom out by taking them both somewhere nice. You could also offer to pay the babysitter if you want a night for just the two of you. Having been a single mom myself at one time I know that money is always short. Good luck to you.

Answer 4

First of all you need to know and understand where this woman wants to take the relationship. Whether she's just having fun or if she's looking to make a house into a home. When men date women with children don't look at it in a bad way. We don't expect you to take care of or even bond with for that matter with our children. We want you to have the same relationship with us as you would a woman with no children. Find out where she wants to take it and after that everything will fall into place.

Answer 5

Dont do get attached to the kid unless you are seriously interested in this girl. Out of experience, some problems you might run into are if the biological father is involved in any way could become problematic when you want to discipline the kid or don't like the way he does.

Answer 6

In my situation I had to wait for the girl to get through two ealier boyfriends who I knew would fail, and show her that I cared about her and her kid and in time she came to the point where she fell in love with me. Now, her daughter knows me as daddy and I love every moment of it. I have become attached to both of them and I could not imagine either one of them not being in my life. Just take your time and if you have any feelings for her then you will learn to adjust to her kid too. You will be able to accept her kid as a part of her as well because just know its a package deal and you can't have one without the other.

Answer 7

Make sure you arrange dates that make it comfortable for her as far as getting a sitter or just inlcuding the child in what you do. Do not be afraid to order in and hang out for the day with her at her house as long as you share the plan with her and she is in agreement. Do a variety of things like those listed above. Make your intetions clear so there is no confusion.

Answer 8

Same as you would with any other lady but make sure that you could love the child and be nice to the child as if it were your own, if you feel that you cannot, then don't pursue it.

Answer 9

Ask your self why you want to pursue a relationship with this women? Are you ready for the extra baggage?

Answer 10

Let your true feelings shine through...She may not let you meet her child which is a good thing so don't get offended...If you do meet the child be kind and notice the small things about the child..If you do not care about the child or the child doesn't like you, you have no chance!!
Be yourself and relax...If you really care for her everything will be fine!