why give up your child for adoption?

Question

your child could never really be happy in life because

1. that child would be wondering why did my mommy or daddy give me away

2. all adoption parents aren't good.

3. and whos to say that your child could handle the fact you give them up so they should give up to on their own life.??

Answer 1

that sounds like bull. If you cant take care of your kid its better to put them in more capable hands. And they make sure that the parents that they are adopted by are capable and willing to treat your child as there own. And the childrens biological parents can be researched. I believe that if the adoptive parents explain why the mother couldnt take care of the child the child will understand. Especially if it brought him 2 such loving people

Answer 2

I think the emotional effects of giving up a child for adoption is MUCH harder than having an abortion. For abortion, at least you didn't give birth and you didn't hold the fetus.
For adoption, the biological parents,especially, the biological mother, would always wonder if her child is happy and if they have been to a good home, and if they have good adoptive parents. All these "ifs" stresses you out and it makes you sick and to think that the biological mom can't see her child ever again. I bet some biological moms have cried often because they don't know where their babies are, some may even cry for decades. This lady that my mom used to work with, she cried every single day for 25 years because her boyfriend took her baby away when she was 17 years old. This lady didn't know if the boyfriend put this baby up for adoption or sold him. Or if the boyfriend raised the baby himself and probably brainwashed the child telling him that the mother was a bad person. The lady always wondered what her child looked like and wondered if she was going to hold her child again. Does her baby have a family now? Is her child a good or bad person? Is her child still alive? She wondered all the time. I would hate to be in this woman's position. She's living a nightmare and I hope she finds peace someday.

I agree that all adoptive parents aren't good. Check out the parents who adopted a bunch of kids and they didn't feed their 19 year old adoptive son, so that son was rummaging through garbage cans looking for food.

Answer 3

The short answer. All children wasn't make in love. Some people was raped, forces or just could care for the child. It is easy to say the child would be better of with parent. But, there is often no gareetee. But, if the child is with you. It is possible that you can guarantee that the child wont have medical insurance, guarantee that the child wont have a fit home. Or you can guarantee that if you keep the child, the parent you live with will put you out. And you and the child will be homeless. And my all time favorite.
My parents will kill me. I thought that was a over exsatuation. I was very sheltered my life. It was hard to imagine a parent would actually do that. I encouraged my friend to tell her mom. I was 18. She never came back to school on Monday. Here Mouth killed her because she told her she wanted to keep the baby. So, that for reality. Often we cant see past our own experiences. We feel you can just do this or that. That is the privilege of being sheltered in an area of your life. Not that you have experiences it. But, I call it the Mary Poppins view

Answer 4

It depend on YOUR own experiences and perceptions and beliefs.If you DO not believe in abortion but do not feel you would be in a good position to provide your child with a stable environment, some put their children up for adoption. Some may be pregnant as a result of a sexual assault and do not believe they would be emotionally capable of caring for their child. Some people has mental health issues that may put the child in danger. Some are given an ultimatum by the child's father.Have an abortion/Give it up or lose me forever. Keep it and I will not support you and the child.
With our population there are a many reasons and they are based on personal experience/s and beliefs as well as past or present circumstance..........it depends what the pros and cons are of the situation. And by the way. Not all parents (adoptive or natural are great parents. ) If you are struggling with this I hope you can get some help.

Answer 5

Would you rather see someone abort them and kill them? I think not. Many children are much better off in adopted families and live full and healthy and loving lives.
Yes the child wonders why they were given away.
Not all (and the proper term is) adoptive parents are bad. Most of them count themselves very lucky to have a child and were unable to produce one and they resorted to adopting ones that someone else decided to give the gift of life to.
And last but not least- if you have a child in your care- you can ALWAYS handle a child. There is a love deep within every one of us that is a parent's love and it will never die. Where there's a will, there's a way and a parent (be it a blood parent or an adoptive parent) will ALWAYS find a way.

Answer 6

Let me preface by saying that when I was 17 I had a child that I gave up for adoption. He is now 8.

First, your statemet about the child would never be able to be happy is completely false, no matter what you use to back it up.

1. My son, who I gave up for adoption, knows exactly why he was adopted. It was because I was too young to raise him. If I were to keep him and it were a constant struggle, do you think that would have made him happy. Now he has his parents and me (the birth parent) and he knows that we both care very much and that his happiness was THE reason for our decision.

2. There is no guarantee that any parent will be a good parent. I was able to choose the adoptive parents for my son. They gave me several bio's. I narrowed it down to a couple and met with the ones that I felt the best about for my son and what I thought would be good for him. I chose adoptive parents that wanted the same level of openness as me. I still keep in contact with them. We get together every so often, share e-mails, pictures. I know tons about this family. Like I said there is no guarantee with any person...

3. Just because you give your child up for adoption does not mean that you gave up on them. I think maybe you are looking at this the wrong way. For instance, I placed my son up for adoption because I wanted the absolute best for him, something that I could not provide. In no way did I give up on my child. He is now raised by great parents and also has me around to keep in touch with. I think it all depends on how the situation is handled. I do think that it is a chance you take, but I also happen to think that it is the best option of the ones available.

With adoption I think everything is dependant on the circumstances...the childs personality, the way the birth and adoptive parent choose to handle explanations, the reasons given to the child, the level of openness in the adoption. I happened to have had probably the best possible outcome in the adoption. I do understand that things do not always go this way.

I am 100% sure of the fact that my son is a very happy little boy, adopted or not, he is happy.

OK...I have strong feelings on the subject and will now stop myself before I ramble on even more. Good luck with whatever you were trying to accomplish with this question. Sorry if the spelling is incorrect, spell check was not working :)

Answer 7

1) Some wonder and some don't...I don't. It doesn't matter to me. Why should it?

2) All biological parents aren't good, that's certainly proven and why there are so many in foster care to begin with. You can research and select a family or even an open adoption.

3) Again, how/why would this concern the person? How would someone you don't even know have that kind of influence/control over you? I mean, it's your biological parents ...but they're complete *strangers*.

I'm not sure what makes you feel this way, but you're honestly putting far too much emotion into it. If anything, I have respect, but no love or heartache over my adoption...neither do my brother or friends who were adopted.

Answer 8

Not in all cases it's the right thing to do but in the cases it is, 9 times out of 10 the people who adopt that baby well be good people. Most of the time they are hand picked by the person giving them up and there is a long process the adopted parents have to go through. And when the child gets old enough he/she can look up their birth parents. I think every situation is different.

Answer 9

1. that child would be wondering why did my mommy or daddy give me away. Not always, SOME adopted children are thankful their mother's put them up for adoption because they have a warm, loving and supportive family raising them.

2. all adoption parents aren't good, ALL birth parents aren't good.

3. and whos to say that your child could handle the fact you give them up so they should give up to on their own life.??
What does adoption have to do with giving up on life?

Answer 10

I think you are making a lot of assumptions about peoples feelings and abilities to do a good job raising children.

As a person from a family with an adoption history (both giving up to and adopting) I have not seen these issues on a level that causes any more mental strife than the numerous issues that bio -family raised children have (some having much greater issues) and honestly feel that those who give their children up, not an easy feat by the way, are making a noble and responsible gesture and understand the needs of the child and society over petty and childish whims.

If you are adopted and lashing out by asking these question than you need to look at yourself and your own issues instead of coming on here and making assumptions and offensive remarks.

If you have not history with adoption than your opinion truly does not matter.