how do i tell my children?

Question

my mom went south for the winter and became gravely ill. She is not expected to live out the night....my children (ages 5 and 6) are very close to her....how do i tell them. they know something is wrong but i just couldnt bring myself to tell them about what has happened. And yes there is no hope of her coming out of this....i just dont know what i am going to say to my children when i get the call.....

Answer 1

Make sure you explain it in a language they can understand. Say is calmly and make sure you tell them it's okay to cry and that you are there if they want to talk. Let them have access to pictures of her and let them talk about her.Encourage them to talk about their favorite times with her. You are going to have to expect behavioral changes for a while, but dont let them get away with things they normally wouldn't. Make sure you answer their questions about death, heaven and what happens. If they will be attending the funeral /wake tell them what to expect, and how to act beforehand.

I'm sorry for your loss, just remember to be there for your children during this.

Answer 2

It really depends on what you believe in. Where you believe people go when they die. Children handle death much better then adults do. My niece died when I was four years old. I remember the funeral and it was like I was just saying goodbye. My nephew died when I was nine. I was really sad especially because I spent the whole day with him the day before he died, but I think I handled it well and I remember thinking just how precious life really is. Tell them everything that is going to happen and ask them if they want to go to the funeral and the viewing. Let them decide. I think you will be surprised by how well they handle it. My grandparents died this summer and I am still crying my eyes out. Death is a part of life and something you should not hide from them. I hope this helps and good luck!

Answer 3

The truth.... I know it's very hard I've had to do it twice this year mine are 6 & 7, one with a Grandmother they where close to and the other Cousin who was very young and no one expect it. It's never easy but it's best it comes from you and it's best it be truthful. I basically said grandma passed away and go from there.... they will ask questions.... don't get too detailed.... there really is only so much information that they want to know to satisfy their minds. If you believe in Heaven let them know that is where she went and so on.... Just remember all the good times and remind the kids of them too! I know it's very hard but you will do well. Best of Luck to you and your children.

Answer 4

When we got the call the night my husband's grandmother died, we called the kids into the room and told them straight out. We told them that great-grandma had suffered long enough and is now free from it. Then any questions they had we answered to the best of our abilities...that was almost 4 years ago so my son would have been 7 and my daughter almost 3.

Is the hardest thing to tell the kids...but ya gotta do it! Its a part of life and if you don't tell them straight up then where will they get the right information?

Answer 5

The truth is the best way to go. Children are intuitive - and sense that something is wrong (as you noted above), so it's better to tell them. It is a sad part of life, but you'll be teaching them a valuable thing by being honest with them. You can play up the highlights of her life, and especially that your two children brought her so much joy, and that sadness is normal, but it will lessen in time.

Answer 6

Its not easy, and yes they will be confused and have questions. answer them, each and everytime.My husband and I have 2 kids. One is 7 and the other is 6, he died fighting in Operation Iraqi Freedom.. Now that was hard, the boys understood their dad had to go fight for our country, and they were supportive of him. They were proud and understood as much as they could. When we got the call, I told them that daddy wouldnt be coming home, that he was in a better place and we would see him when we went to heaven. That was Thanksgiving day this happended. They were there at the funeral, and they cried, they still have questions. but I have no choice but to answer them each and everytime..

Answer 7

I had to just go through this with telling my 7 year old. You have to be honest with them. Let them know how much she cared and loved them. Be there for each other and don't hold back tears from them. It's hard but remember the good times you all had together. I am very sorry for your loss.

Answer 8

Be open and honest with your children. Not to long ago a friend of a friend told their child that daddy had a headache and went to heaven. Now when he gets a headache he thinks he will too go to heaven. He actually died of a brain aneurism. By the way he is also 5. Just be open and honest with them. Good luck and my prayers to you and your family.

Answer 9

Wow this must be extremely hard on you! Just sit down with them and slowly tell them what has been wrong with their grandmother. Also ask them how they feel and tell them it's ok to cry. Then tell them how she won't suffer any longer and she will be in a better place. And how she will always be looking down on them and protecting them, their own guardian angel! I'm really sorry && I hope the children don't take it too hard.

Answer 10

Tell them the truth but also state that she has gone to heaven and begin to give a detailed explanation of heaven. State it is a wonderful place and she is doing (whatever the children remember her doing with a smile on her face) all the things she enjoys. Tell them she is watching over them; it is a useful pyschological tactic to use.