I recently mentioned to my bf's aunt that if I ever got married, that I would probably not like children at the wedding because I always feel that adults who have had a lot of alcohol should not be around kids. I also feel that a formal occasion like that, with a lot of money being spent, is not worth it for kids.
His aunt stated though, that she had once been invited to an Adult Only wedding, and had declined to go completely because of it as her "kids were part of the family, and would have felt left out." Her kids are 5 and 6. Your opinions, please... I am just curious.
2006-12-28 16:26:49 · 24 answers · asked by shaclare 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
When my son and then my daughter got married we only invited the children of close family members. I agree with you, a wedding is really not the place for a bunch of children running around. Not only can the parents not enjoy themselves - dancing, etc. but I think it sometimes takes away from the bride and groom. We did hire two teens to watch the children that did attend the reception and had games, color books, crafts, etc. for them and a menu of hot dogs, etc. You can also invite the children to the ceremony but not the reception. It is made clear by the addressing of the invites and reception cards. Unless it is a very informal wedding outside, I would stick to a limited number of children or none. If adults can't part with their kids for a day then it is their loss in not attending the celebration. And you're right, it is very expensive to purchase a plate for kids that don't eat it anyway. Do it your way!
2006-12-28 16:33:00 · answer #1 · answered by Santa's Elf 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure your aunt was just giving her opinion since this was a hypothetical question. I would ask why she declined specifically. Did she not go just because they were not invited? or was it because she could not find a sitter? In my opinion it is YOUR day and you decide what goes. If someone doesn't show just because their 2 yr old would be left out, oh well. A child under the age of 10 probably wouldn't care if they were at a wedding or not and probably won't remember it. Children under 5 shouldn't be an issue because they probably don't understand fully what is going on therefore they don't need to be at a wedding just because of fear of hurting their feelings. A 5 and 6 year old probably wouldn't care if they were there or not. I went to my Aunt and Uncle's wedding when I was about 8 or 9 years old and I barely remember it, the only memory I have of that day was the fact that I was BORED out of my mind, you get the idea.Also, if there is alcohol, the adults will probably not be able to fully enjoy themselves with a drink or two if 5 yr old Tammy is throwing a fit just because she has had enough and wants to go home after the first five minutes of the reception. I think the couple getting married should choose what they want and don't worry about what everyone else wants, it is their wedding and everyone should be accommodating them, not the couple pleasing the guests.
2006-12-29 14:33:28 · answer #2 · answered by Wendy Kim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it depends on how many people you invite that have kids. some people wont come because then they have to find a sitter for thier children and whatnot just to attend the wedding. close family also feel that way sometimes because their children are a part of the family too and they feel they should be invited as well. on the other hand like you said, if there is alot of drinking then its not cool to have the kids around and it often causes people to leave early because their kids get tired and bored. I think its up to you on what you want to do. I only had a 40 person wedding and we had 2 kids there because they were my husbands little sisters age 6 and 10 and we couldnt not invited them, but we had an afternoon reception so it didnt interfere.
2006-12-29 02:01:25 · answer #3 · answered by Jenn ♥Cadence Jade's mum♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I tried to have an adult only wedding, and ended up with 2 kids under 6 there. They were both great. The 6 year old had a blast dancing all evening and the little one (she was 2 I think) was taken out early by her parents.
On the other hand, I was in a wedding in which there were a bajillion kids on the guest list. It was also a fun wedding. I'm just glad I didn't know any of them so I didn't have to deal with any issues they might have had.
If you decide to go "adult only" the proper thing to do is leave the kids' names off the invitations when you send them. If Bob and Nancy Jones have 3 kids (Joe, Mary, and Karen) just list Bob and Nancy. They should get the hint.
2006-12-28 16:51:47 · answer #4 · answered by Dawn S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, My opinion is that weddings are supposed to be fun and with family, so I would allow children to come.
Actually I'm planning on it with my wedding since I know some will not go if they can't bring their kids (because of lack of a babysitter or the distance from their kids, since the wedding is an 8 hour trip away from relatives).
What you could do is have an alcohol free wedding reception. With the champagne toast being the only bottle of alcohol used.
2006-12-29 04:42:21 · answer #5 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well your aunt does have a point - and so do you. Almost every time someone decides to go adults only you will have people upset because their children are being left out. As a mother, I understand that. My sister is having a child-free wedding which is difficult for me because my children, ages 7, 5 and 3 not only understand that they are being left out, but they are also missing out on being part of a once in a life time, life changing event in their Aunty's life and we are a very close family.
If the acohol is the issue, one solution is to hire childcare and have a room setup seperate from the reception were the children can play, watch movies, etc while their parents are at the party.
2006-12-29 04:25:22 · answer #6 · answered by Chrys 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My wedding is going to be 16 and up. I didn't want to deal with the kids running around and their parents chasing after them. I also plan on an evening wedding, so those kids are going to get tired soon and then half my guest list will leave early to get their kids to bed. The only children who will be at the wedding are those in my wedding party and I'm hiring a babysitter to come to the reception to look after the kids. That way their parents can have fun and not worry.
2006-12-29 02:01:26 · answer #7 · answered by Cindy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you want an adult only reception, that is your choice. I suggest then that you also not have a flower girl or ring bearer in your ceremony, because typically as part of the wedding party, they should come to the reception. If someone asks why kids aren't invited, explain that your seating is limited to x number of guests and if kids are included, you have many other adult family and friends that won't get invited. You can also explain that you feel it is in bad taste to invite children to an event where many of the adults are drinking. It is your wedding and you are paying for the headcount, so you can dictate who is allowed in and not.
2006-12-28 16:37:18 · answer #8 · answered by Jenny 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are correct. The children almost never have any fun. The parents end up leaving early to accommodate the children and I really do not like the idea of children being in an alcohol environment.
Share your thoughts with his aunt in a casual conversation. Maybe she has some ideas about a wedding with children that you would like. Who knows.
2006-12-28 17:19:56 · answer #9 · answered by the Goddess Angel 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had an adult only wedding....and I have 17 neices and nephew between me and my husband. I could't see spending money on younger children who are now out past there bed time cranky and misbehaving...and now a mother of two I wouldn't take my children to a wedding even if it were allowed. I look at an adult only wedding for a night out with my husband alone...maybe have a few drinks and relax....I thought alot of people would agree, but maybe not. When your time comes it YOUR wedding and you have to do what makes you happy not other people. It's your special day
2006-12-28 16:34:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋