I took my sister shopping today to spend Christmas money. She wanted to buy several things I knew were a waste of money since she wouldn't play with them. I advised her to get things I knew she would play with and told her I wasn't going to let her get stuff that would sit under her bed. She shut down and got really mad. I finished my shopping and made a detour through the craft aisle that we hadn't yet visited. She ended up picking out several items I know she'll use often and enjoy.
My question is did I go about this correctly or should I have let her pick her own things even though I knew she wouldn't play with them?
2006-12-28 16:17:40 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
The things she wanted to buy included a baby doll (she has several, and never picks them up, my brother plays with them more), a dress up trunk (she has one already, doesn't play with it), books way below her reading level, mixes for her Easy Bake oven that she also doesn't play with and we recently had to throw out a ton of mixes, and a clarinet that I know would end up getting her in trouble and end up in the land of taken away toys within a week.
She ended up with a binder, several notebooks and pencils, pens, and crayons. She spends a lot of time drawing, writing stories, and playing school so she'll get tons of use of it.
2006-12-28 16:33:03 · update #1
She would have learned a lot more by buying stuff and being disappointed. It sounds harsh, but it was her money and what lesson did she learn?
She could have had an up close and personal lesson on buyer's remorse, something that nowadays most people don't learn until they are older and the cost is greater, like an expensive car or computer. She would have wasted what...probably less than $50 but gained valuable insight into marketing schemes, budgeting and thinking about purchases.
How would you feel if your mom had been shopping and she told you that those clothes you picked out were too ugly or inappropriate? You probably wouldn't have said "Oh, mom, thank you so much, you are so right!" You would have gotten angry, felt defensive and not thought clearly about it.
My kids all can spend their money on whatever they want. By five they've learned the lesson of buyer's remorse, and they are much more careful. By seven they are saving and budgeting their money, not because I said, but because they've learned it on their own, while the cost was low.
2006-12-28 16:31:31 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You wouldn't be doing your sister a favor to let her waste money. She is only 7. She should not be allowed free rein in spending her money. When she is older she should be allowed to make just a few unwise purchases so she will learn to be more discerning, but if she were to constantly make unwise purchases, that would show whoever was in charge that she is not ready to spend on her own yet. Spending wisely is a really big thing to learn, and if kids learn it they are so much better off as adults!
2006-12-28 16:30:30 · answer #2 · answered by Cris O 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing the wrong way. She looked at you as a friend, and you came off like a parent. You did right to advise her, but you have to let her make her own decisions. Just because YOU like what she picked out doesnt mean that she will like them forever. It really wasnt your place to say she COULDNT get what she wanted. it was her money. You were right she might have bought something she wouldnt have used but that was her mistake to make. Now she and you will never know. She isnt you.
2006-12-28 16:26:53 · answer #3 · answered by fancyname 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You absolutely did the right thing, I still advise my kids at ages 6 and 9 on what they should buy with their gift cards. Kids don't often use wise judgement.
2006-12-28 21:14:01 · answer #4 · answered by jabbergirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To some extent she is going to have to learn to spend money wisely. You can suggest but you cannot make her spend money wisely.
As a parent I would use envelopes to seperate money for my child, one to give 10%, save 10% and they can spend the other 80% how they want. I would make suggestions but give them free will to spend it how they want.
2006-12-28 16:27:13 · answer #5 · answered by CP 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes i believe 7 year olds should get advice on spending money, heck as adults we sometimes need advice,
but sometimes its ok if they buy something that we know it will be a waste of money that way they'll start learning how to spend money wisely :D
2006-12-28 16:23:54 · answer #6 · answered by answerplease 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing, she will enjoy the things you helped her pick out more. She will forget all about not getting the things she wanted.
2006-12-28 16:23:00 · answer #7 · answered by honeybear 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you definitely should advise her at this age. You are a good big sister :)
2006-12-28 16:22:17 · answer #8 · answered by Edisto 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋