He's avoiding the vasectomy?

Question

I've been taking the Errin birth control tablets since our youngest was about 7 weeks old because I was breastfeeding. I stopped breastfeeding a little after her 6th month and continued taking the pills. Now I go in for a check up and have been told that I should switch to a different birth control since the Errin pills are less effective now. My husband is avoiding the vasectomy talk! (I've posted this problem in a previous question). He tells me to get my tubes tied, I tell him I'll never have anthing removed down there unless my health is at risk, he says he's done having children so I tell him it's up to him to make sure we won't so I don't have to be on birth control forever. He still won't consider it. I have an annual appointment coming up in May so I told him I will get an effective birth control (nuvaring) until then to give him/us time to think of our options. I can't tell him I will cut off the sex if he doesn't get it done because I'm sort of a nymph, so it'd punish me more

I'm frustrated and don't know what to do. I wouldn't mind having one more kid but if I bring it up, he says he feels sick and dizzy. I think if he's really that done with having kids he should get it tooken care of. I told him that vasectomies are less expensive, less recovery time and less painful than a tubial and he just sits there quietly and then changes the subject. Being on this birth control has me very paranoid (with all the risks) I cry because I'm scared of what the birth control can do to me, I just want to be natural with no artificial hormones coursing through my body causing blood clots, liver damage, tumors, cancer, high blood pressure, or cerebral hemmorhage, etc...(too many to name them all). Maybe I'm being too paranoid...but I don't care, birth control scares me. What do I do?

I know getting a tubial doesn't require removing anything, I was just saying I'm not messing around down there unless it's an health issue. I'm not the one that is done with having kids, I wouldn't mind having more. He's the one that's against us having more, but I'm willing to compromise and accept that we've had our last child if he takes the responsibility to make sure we won't have any more.

Answer 1

It is up to you to make sure that you don't have any more children, if you don't want any. Don't expect anyone else to make your decisions for you. You must be responsible for your own actions. To thine own self be true!

Answer 2

Not much you can do about it. If he won't he won't. Don't give in on the tubal ligation though, because that a surgical procedure not a little office visit compaired to what men can go through. Asking you to have a surgery that requires general anesthesia is not the same as a local he would go through.

I would just go with the nuva ring or there is a new outpatient procedure for women that they can do that ends periods. BUT only if YOU are sure your done having children. I can't think of hte name of it, it's relatively new and they onlyd do it if your done having kids. It was first approved for women who had heavy periods but didn't want a hysterectomy. There isn't any going back from what I understand. Personally you might want to think about the pill Seasonale you only have a period once every 3 months and it's great. Very reliable too.

The thing is neither of you should force eachother into doing something you aren't willing to do. Just so you know having your tubes tied doesn't remove anything.

The male pill is a few years away, perhaps you can bide your time until then, once he is then responsible for birth control then he may change his mind. Or you can insist he uses condoms since he is the one who doesn't want anymore kids and y ou don't think it's your responisbility anymore.

You are right not to cut sex off because sex should never be used as a weapon it will cause resentment and damage the relationship. Refusing sex should never be used as a punishment I applaud you for that!

Answer 3

Hey,
If Manliness had one symbol for it, it would be the area down there.
Maybe he is uncomfortable with having things touched, especially downed there.
Or it could behe doesn't like surgery.
If none of you are willing to go under the knife why don't you get a box full of Plan B.
If you aren't familiar, Plan B is one of those pills that will stop pregnancy even after a while from being concieved.
Always use a condom and if for some reason, it breaks or you think you've become pregnant, take Plan B.

Answer 4

Neither one of you want to sterilize, so don't! It's not fair of you to ask him to and you say you are willing to have another (more) children, so why in the world would you choose to alter your body through tying your tubes? Plus you never know what may happen in the future. You won't be on bc forever; you do have a biological clock that is ticking. I recommend Natural Family Planning (yes, it does work well if you are committed to it). It's hormone free, simple, and reversible! You can use other bc, such as condoms, if you find it hard to abstain during your fertile time of the month. It sounds to me that he'd hate vasectomy more than he'd hate an "oops".

Answer 5

Between the time when I was thinking about a vasectomy and when I had one, we conceived our fourth child. With that, my wife had her tubes tied (they don't remove anything).

Failed birth control was to blame. Actually, I'm glad it happened, my daughter (now 20) is a gem.

If you want to be sure you have no more kids, both of you should make the committment to getting snipped. It doesn't affect your sex life. If fact it is stress free which is great.

Answer 6

Sounds like a divorce to me. Why would you want to be married to a man like that? He's obviously all about himself and no one else. Vasectomies are painless, and only take about 30 minutes. My hubby laughed and joked all the way through his. There are no side effects to it. However tubal ligation is a dangerous, inpatient, expensive surgery. TLs can result in early menopause which can cause osteoporosis and heart problems. They also are 5x as costly as a vasectomy.

What kind of a husband would risk his wife's health because he's an insensitive jerk? Tell him to think of whats best for the family or get out.

Answer 7

i could ask a doctor if I have been you through fact they're probable to be attentive to greater approximately it and be greater precise than all people at right here. i be attentive to a minimum of one factor nonetheless, vasectomies do not grow to be triumphant til a pair of week after surgical treatment.

Answer 8

That's like a Home Improvement episode! He's scared. Ask him what are the reasons that he won't get one, and try to make progress from there.

Answer 9

Well......... in my opinion sex is the only "weapon" you have, so you better use it. If not, you could always consider an IUD as your bc method. That gets you off the pill and no surgery. Good luck working it out.

Answer 10

word, i mean like it takes away your manliness, no guy wants that it sounds like it would hurt a lot. like thats the guys view. and the no sex is crazy. all you can do is try and work it out btwn you 2 nothing else