Should i be offended by my mother?

Question

I went and saw my boyfriend on Teusday and he's been gone for the last 6 months(he's in the army) and we did some stuff together, we only made out...thats as far as i'll go. Anyways my mom saw the slightest hicky on my neck and she called me a s*ut!! I'm 20 years old and i'm saving myself for marriage...why would she say such a thing? She then appologized for it...but i'm still offended.help!!

Answer 1

I'm a few years older than you and will give you a male perspective. I will give you to possible answers:

First, appearances are everything. A hicky implies very close physical contact, which COULD be the prelude to a sexual relationship. It does not mean you will take the next step, but in our society, certain signs give indication of this.

Second, your mother probably just acted out without thinking. She should have handled it through discussion rather than name calling, but what's done is done. She saw something that let her to jump to conclusions and may have had concerns for you. Either way, be a little more careful next time or better yet, slow it down!

Answer 2

Listen at least your mother apologised. Don't worry, I am sure she did not mean it literally.

People say that of you are old enough, she should not interfere and blah blah and blah but listen to your inner self. As a mother, no matter what your age is. you could be six or twenty, to your mother, you are still her precious little baby...Put yourself in her shoes and look at things from her perspective.

Calling you name was her mother nature protective instinct jumping out but when her good sense hit her, she realised that it was a mistake and apologised...so now cheer up.

You know a mother always thinks so high of their kids and when they see something that says something else, they panic because they want everyone else to respect her darling daughter and treat you nice. ok.

Moreover you sound like a nice girl and be grateful that you have a mother's hand on your head...there are so many outthere dying to a have a maternal love but can't have....ok cheer up

Answer 3

Yes I would definitly be offended. You are damn sure not a slut I mean come on you havent slept with anyone and you are saving yourself for marriage. Who cares if you fool around with your boyfriend? You are 20 years old and old enough to make your own descions without your mom putting you down for something so innocent. Talk to your mom and tell you you won't tolerate her calling you names. I would be offended big time!!!!!

Answer 4

Sounds like you need to draw some boundaries with your mother (such as: your lovelife is none of her business, and no discussions about it will be entered into) and then enforce them no matter what.

Answer 5

I know a lot of mothers and fathers like that. they are very conservative and live in the past. the best thing to do is just talk to her about it and tell her that times have changed and tell her your plans of saving yourself. im sure that she will understand and realize what she said was wrong and very hurtful

Answer 6

Your mom needs to keep her nose out of your business you're 20 effing years old for goodness sakes!!

Answer 7

let her know you are saving yourself for marriage, and sare far from a slut. Believe me, I doubt your own mother saved herself for marriage, so she is in no position to call you a slut.

Answer 8

Your life. your business. Tell her to butt out.

Answer 9

Well you are an adult...... so it's probably none of her business.