Me: agnostic girl in luv w/ a christian boy. Together for about 3 yrs but friends for about 8. He's my best friend & boyfriend ever but I know that I can't be the christian wife & mother of his children that he wants. He said that he can picture us spending the rest of our lives together. I can too but it would be problematic once we have kids & we both want kids. I don't want my children growing up thinking that mom is right and dad is wrong or visa versa. He's brilliant & is goal oriented at work & in graduate school & he always knows how to make me happy. He's a republican & I'm a democrat, but when election time comes around we talk it out & I love it. He's the sweetest & most romantic lover. We can talk about everything except where the future of our relationship is going to go. I'm afraid that we're going to break up because we can't give each other the futures that we're expecting. Am I wasting our time? Can he accept me for who I am? Can it work? Should I hold on or let go?
2006-12-28 15:48:41 · 17 answers · asked by sugarboots 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think maybe you could accept each other and make it work. Let the kids CHOOSE what they believe though. No need to fight about politics or religion I think.
nobody really ever knows where the future of a relationship is going.
2006-12-28 15:53:07 · answer #1 · answered by kurticus1024 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With so much going for you, you owe it to yourself to work this out. But together you have to discuss and come to agreement on the issue of religion in your relationship. How do each of you expect to raise the children, and how this impact your future.
Simplest answer, if you both can be comfortable with it, is to share equally your individual beliefs and express completely with your children that this is their decision on what they believe, and then both of you must accept and respect the children's decision.
If however, you can't agree on how to raise the kids, you are in for a very difficult and potentially destructive relationship. If you can't agree now, it would be better not to bring children into the situation where they would be caught in the middle.
So the choice is, agree on the issue, have no children, or find someone who shares your beliefs and can also be the man you want.
2006-12-28 15:58:15 · answer #2 · answered by cyahlaytar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be able to be who you are without having to make drastic changes. If you want to have a long term relationship with a marriage and family, its only fair that you share the same values and beliefs. I think its great that you already have the foresight to see problems that can occur if you guys have kids.
Its a big world, and there are many others out there who would be more compatible for both you and him. Although you'll hear many people say that they had a similar situation and it worked out for them, remember that these are the exceptions. Risking the kids is just not worth it. Best of luck to you.
2006-12-28 15:57:16 · answer #3 · answered by LoreLender 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Agnostic means that you really don't know what to believe. So you aren't synchronized on faith. Many relationships occur between non-committed men and Christian women. Unevenly yoked, yes. Impossible, no.
Seems like a good guy. Sounds like he's accepting you as you are. I'd consider one thing, though. He's all these good things and a Christian too. How much of that is his Christian beliefs guiding his life? Maybe you should take a look at what makes him a great guy and get it working for you. Be a woman worthy of the great guy God has given you.
What is it that prevents you from coming into agreement with him?
2006-12-28 16:02:36 · answer #4 · answered by lmcbuilder 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am in the same situation as you. I am of one religion and my fiance is a diffrent religion and like the two of you, we are in love as well. I think that if you both love each other, that you can both have your own religion and your own opinion about the diffrent religions. I think that if you want to have children that once the children are old enough to understand, that you sit down with the children together and you explain the religions. then, let the children decide what religion they would like to be. Do not push either of the religions on them. If the children decide that they would like to choose another religion then be happy for them. Let them know that you love them ,and you are proud to hear about their choice that they have made. Good Luck!
2006-12-28 16:00:45 · answer #5 · answered by Chipper33 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you would be crazy to let a guy like that go if your both so right for each other.......why let the fact he is christian become an obstacle. Compromise its what all couples do. My parents weren't the same religion but they compromised. So either learn to compromise or wait and let your children decide their own religion. And don't let other people tell you that you should break up with him over something like that because you shouldn't at all.
2006-12-28 15:56:33 · answer #6 · answered by Along the way we fell in love 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, with what uve said, ur problem is actually VERY small.
there are plenty of parents that arent the same religion and work out an even idea for their kids. talk it out, like u do with the election time.
and the idea that u cant give each otehr the future u wanted... BS
everyone has to let go of one or two things that they wanted for their planned future. u cant expect everything to go according to ur plan. besides, u two sound like ur REALLY in love... why give that up?
2006-12-28 15:53:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay! It will work. Figure out what you feel is best for the your kids when the time comes and then when they're older they might decide to take on a different religion.
2006-12-28 15:56:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it really hurts, but mixing religions is a bad thing. There is even a biblical principle for it: In the New Testament of the Bible mixing religions is called being "unequally yoked".
On a side note, if I were you I would talk with your boyfriend about his beliefs and seriously consider them for yourself. Coming to Christ would solve not only your relationship problems, but would make your life in general infinately happier. But of course that decision is up to you.
2006-12-28 15:54:54 · answer #9 · answered by Chip 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
God would tell you to stay<<
2006-12-28 16:03:17 · answer #10 · answered by sea 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋