My four year old makes up alot of untrue storys......?

Question

How do i get her to understand that lying is not good and for her to stop?

Answer 1

My kids went through this. When my children tell a story that I know is false, I tell them to stick out there tongue. If there is a black line on their tongue they are lying. Now there isn't really a black line there so you tell them that only mommies and daddies can see it. Then, after the child lies you say in a prompting voice...."Let me see your tongue." If the child won't stick out his tongue, he is lying and needs to be reprimanded. If he does stick out his tongue with out looking like he is challenging you, then hug him and tell him how proud you are that he told you the truth.

If he does lie and after you give him a time out, go to him and tell him that you like to make up stories sometimes too but you should only tell made up stories at bed time. Then, make one up together. Show him the difference between lying for attention and making up a story.

Answer 2

It's a stage, and a sign she has a good imagaenation. After she tells a story ask her if it's really true or if she is just making up stories. If she claims it is true tell her you are going to ask whoever it involved. She'll probably fear getting in trouble and tell the truth.

Encourage her to make up stories about make-believe animals and people instead.

If it still continues say "(your child's name) I know that story isn't true, and lying isn't good. People don't like people that tell lies because it's not nice. Would you like to tell me a real story?" Tell her about the little boy that cried wolf.But also, make sure the story isn't a lie. You didn't say what these stories involved but if she's saying her babysitter, or the kid down the street did something she might be telling the truth.

Answer 3

Four year olds are not really aware of the difference between lying and fantasy. Fantasy is normal...sometimes if you help them keep the story going they realize that it is becoming bigger and bigger and more unbelievable...then they can laugh and tell you it was all a story. Then have them tell you the real story.

Children this age who truly lie are generally trying to escape punishment. They simply don't want to get in trouble. If you punish for lying they will simply quit telling you anything that is not "safe" to tell you.

If you want her to communicate with you when she is older keep the lines of communication open now. Never be surprised or too upset: you won't get the truth; you will get nothing.

Answer 4

depends what u mean by untrue stories. If she is saying the monster grabbed the cookie and gave it to her after u told her not to get a cookie then i would explain to her that what she did was called lieing and id spank her butt or put her in time out.... what ever ur method of punishment is. If she is telling u a story of how her pony flew across the shy and landed by the lake and a frog and the pony swam together ect.... that is just her imagination and that is normal. just continue to remind her that no matter what happened to always tell the truth. she may be punished for what she did but the punishment will be worse if u catch her lieing. im teaching my 4 year old son that too and he is doing well. she will too. good luck

Answer 5

She is four years old so it is real hard to make them understand something that most adults don't understand. Try telling her the good old story of how the boy cried wolf and do it everyday. If you could find the book and read it to her that might have a better out come. Keep in mind though her age is delicate and not to get frustrated she might grow out of it on her own.

Answer 6

There is a difference between fantasy and lies and four year olds are fantasy fanatics. That their world lacks their imagination fills in. Have reality checks with your daughter, laugh at her story and say now tell me what really happened. If she is lying to cover up misbehavior that is another thing totally. That has to be clearly unacceptable. Explain how lies hurt and they will come back to hurt her as well. When my son was four he told his preschool teacher I was pregnant because every time a kid came in and said they were going to have a baby brother or sister the class cheered them. Well he decided he wanted that. The teacher congratulated my mother in law who picked him up that day. She spent the rest of the day smiling like a lunatic at me and finally said she "KNEW" Sigh. Gotta love four year olds,

Answer 7

My daughters started making up elaborate stories too. I just asked them if they were telling me stories. That works for me. So if something starts getting a bit weird ( peole flying or dinosaurs on the roof etc) I ask them if they are telling the truth or telling me a story. And they answer accordingly. Now as they are older my youngest has started to lie ( blaming week old kittens for pulling all the toilet paper off the roll) so now I ask if she is fibbing ans she'll say yes then I ask for the truth and she tells me. She is always amazed I know the difference between truth, fibs and stories.

Answer 8

Is she lying or just being creative and using her imagination?
My 3 1/2 year old son has a very active imagination... but also is aware of the difference between real and pretend. At times I just get down to his level and ask him to talk to me and that we are not "pretending". Good luck

Answer 9

Is she really lying or just telling stories? Many four year olds are still uncertain what is real and what is not for instance they may believe that Sponge Bob is real. They tell stories from thier imagination and use real people in them. Now if she tells tall tales that hurt someone else then you need to remind her of what is real and what is not.

Answer 10

My first reaction is "hooray, I'm not alone." I'm going through the same thing and have found that ignoring what she says that I know is not true seems to work the best. I don't give her any kind of reward or attention for lying. Typically, lying is a form of attention seeking. Deny her the attention.

Feel free to contact me if you have any great breakthroughs or need to vent to someone who's there too.