My husband is coming home from Iraq soon..?

Question

I will be moving on to a military base in Germany.. I've heard that there's a lot that goes on, on these military bases.. I trust my husband with all my heart and he trust me.. But is it true what they say, about all Military men cheat atleast one.. I married him after he had been single for a few years, he says it's all out his system.. I just hope we don't end up a statistic.. Do anyone have any advise on how I should go into this military life without getting caught up in any of the extra stuff, that goes on? And what is it like being married verses being single and staying on or by a military base?
Serious answers only please.....

NOTE: I am 100 % sure I trust my husband.. He has never gave me a reason to think that he would do anything of the sort..
A Soldiers Wife

Answer 1

I came home from Iraq to Germany after OIF 2. You'll love Germany, and you'll enjoy being on a base. It's a lot easier for Americans who can access the military community over there.

As to your husband, my strongest advice to you is to build a strong marriage with him. Work with eachother. Look for activities you both enjoy. Be involved with the FRG. Know his friends. There is a very high divorce rate, post Iraq. Not becoming a statistic means you'll both have to really stick it out. Communication is key. You have to learnt to effectively communicate your needs, desires, and opinions to eachother. He's also likely to be a bit of an adrenaline junky when he gets back. This will all fade with time away from the deployment.

Enjoy your experiences in europe. Learn some German. Travel. Go to Edelweiss if your get the chance, it's gorgeous.

Best of luck, and feel free to email me if you have any more questions about Germany or redeploying.

Answer 2

US Army Military Police i served 12 years, all over the country and world.

Military families are not much different than other families. Although being in the military does pose extra problems and stressors in a marriage. There are the long hours and the small pay, that is while in the garrison (on base) then there is the down range time (in the field for training) the down range time is not including the preparation and the cleanup when returning. The endless inspections and extra duty roster. My wife used to joke that she needed to keep my picture at the door so she knew who i was.

But, as an MP i found that the vast majority of the domestic fights that i had to respond to were about money and not infidelity. a few suggestions. If there are kids, make sure that you two plan weekly 'couple' time, you know take a walk, see a movie, do whatever as a 'couple' . and be open about money, pay yourself first (start a savings).

there are politics on many bases, it all depends on the rank of your spouse, and aspirations for more rank , one thing that you will find on base is that everybody is in pretty much the same situation. enjoy germany it is a beautiful country

Answer 3

Being in the miltary or overseas isn't going to make you or him cheat. I was stationed in Germany, I was married, and I was over there a total of eight years. The people who cheated were young immature people. Men and Women who went out drinking and partying on base and off without the spouse and who were looking for trouble.

I was on both sides, a soldier and then a wife. What I learned is to be careful of who I trust around my husband and that just because his friends are screwing around doesn't mean my husband will. I met alot of wives that became good friends and I also met some wives that were after anyone elses husband. Use this as an opportunity to go out and see the country, travel, and make some awsome memories with your husband. I was stationed at three different places and I just had a great time there. Email me if you would like and I can share some great places to go and give you some advice on finding work, or I can be a penpal. [e-mail]. Trust your husband and put him before anyone or anything over there.

Answer 4

this is between you and your husband, statistics have nothing to do with it. It is up to the individuals. I have asked a similar question about what the statistics are for marriages lasting in the military. I am 22 and my husband is 24. My flight chiefs at work(well, one) even told me when I first got to my base that I'll have some issues since I'm attractive and I'll be away from my husband and that the majority of my co-workers are men, that it might not last long, then he actually told me about two other women who were in the shop and ended up divorced. He said young couples don't last. What an a s s!

If you are 100% sure and have trust in him, then dont even ask here. You know that there are people who are ***** and will give you bad info and make you want to reconsider your belief and trust in your husband. These people (us, on Y!answers) don't know you. I know why you asked, same reason why I asked....you want someone to tell you it's ok and that it'll be ok. It's a different and new situation and everyone wants comfort even if they think everything is going fine. It's natural, but believe in your gut.

remember: no one here know you and your husband personally. So if they try to tell you that he'll cheat, just brush it off.

Answer 5

I work at Ft. Bragg, it's the largest military base in the US. I work with a ton of military spouses, and most have very happy, very loving marriages. They are overwhelmed from the deployments, but work hard to keep it together. When you get to your duty station in Germany, (if you are Army) find the Army Community Service (ACS) office, as well as your Family Readiness Group (FRG). ACS offers "military orientation" classes for new spouses and your husband's unit FRG will connect you with other wives. ACS often has good classes that will improve your marriage - Couples Communication, 8 Habits Of Successful Marriages - but the key is good communication. Don't get sucked into the high school drama some wives will create - especially if you are an officer's wife. It's not worth it. (Think high school cheerleader crap.) I've heard that overseas is less drama than in the states. Get off post and explore as much as you can! Expand your world and take advantage of being in Europe! The drama comes from wives who are bored and are too afraid to leave post. ACS should have tour groups, and lots of resources to explore Germany safely. Plus, you have priority in hiring if you want to get a GS job. If you can get into the system, you will be set for a long time. ACS also has an employment office for spouses. If you are in another branch of the military, call information at the post and ask who provides support to families. All branches have variations of ACS.

You trust your husband 100%, just don't allow other people's drama to infect your relationship and you'll do fine! I hope you have a great time!

Answer 6

As a military wife of almost 10 years I'll give you this piece of advice....stay away from gossip. You'll go to the FRG meeting or some social event and someone will say "did you hear what so and so did?" Stop it right there and leave it alone. It's not just the women either I am amazed that a lot of gossiping goes on between the men too. Trust me I've seen the destruction of gossip with my own eyes....it ruins families and makes you look at people very differently. So best to just stay away!

Answer 7

I have been a military spouse for nearly 18 years and people the cheat in the military are the same people that would cheat not being in the military.. Being in Germany has NADA to do with it. We were stationed in Europe for 9 years and no cheating went on. Just keep a open line of communication with your spouse and stay out of other peoples troubles.

Answer 8

Just enjoy your husband's home coming and don't worry about living in a military base, in a way it will be helpfully to have the comrades and support of all the other military wife's. Moving to Germany will be a great adventure look at the bright side in the military base they will speak English and you and your husband will be together!!!!

Answer 9

Its good that you have talked about it, and excellent that you are already thinking about strategies to stay together. A lot does go on in this type of situation (where everyone knows your business and you live in a very close situation). Just remember not to succumb to any advances made by people on the military base, not just the husbands. As long as you remember that for some people, it can be a game (to try to conquer the newest wife on the base), so just be aware and trust your husband too.

Good luck hun.

Answer 10

I can probably answer both. I am married to a service member as well one.

Single - on the military base you live in barracks and you mostly hang out with ppl in your unit or that live in the same building. you see a lot of ppl smoking and drinking. it's like living in dorms.

married - i dont know how long you have been married or how long you have been going through the military life. my husband and i live on post. he is deployed as well right now. its really hard being here by myself. only thing keeping me sane are the animals. if you love your husband, trust him. just b/c he is in the military doesn't mean he is like all those other men. you are going to have to adjust to a lot of things. remember we don't work the regular 9 - 5 hrs. and they always have extra stuff for us to do. i havent been to Germany so i dont know how the bases or housing is over there, but i think its pretty safe on post. my suggestion is to trust him, but it will be a bumpy road. if you love eachother, then it wont be too hard.