My MiL drives me a bit nuts. Firstly, my husband and I have only been married a little over 2 years, we have a son just under 2 years. He has 2 children from another relationship that his parents never get to see but I get to hear about how much better they are than my son and how much better this other woman was than me. In fact, all of his ex's are better than me. He and I own a company, I'm very tall and thin (she is not tall and heavy), I have traveled the world and have 2 college degrees. She says she gave up her life for her kids and had no choice. She blames everyone else for her problems and then takes it all out on me. unfortunately everything I say or do rubs her face in the fact that I'm younger, smarter, better looking or whatever dream fantasy she chooses to get angry about. She doesn't want to get along so when I have to spend time with her to let her be around my son (her grandchild) it is hell...what do I do?
2006-12-28 14:50:33 · 9 answers · asked by alli_knapik 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
when we do chat about "common ground" type things it makes her feel even worse. When we chat about kids - I come from a huge family so I actually have more experience (and without me saying so she knows it), i try to seem subservient but I'm afraid it is coming off as patronizing, am I better off just avoiding her?
2006-12-28 14:59:54 · update #1
I guess I need to say that actually I'm extremely modest around her and answered my new in laws questions truthfully when they asked me about me life - should I have lied and said I've done nothing but sit on my bum all my life just to make other people feel better? That's what it feels like. I have a very hard time just sitting around like a dummy.
2006-12-28 15:29:12 · update #2
You don't have to have a relationship with her. You don't have to like her and she doesn't have to like you.
It would make things easier....but it's not necessary.
Let your husband take your son to visit his family and you take the take to do something you enjoy.
When it's unavoidable like the Holidays....go, be polite and keep a very low profile.
2006-12-28 14:55:57 · answer #1 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm intimidated by you from just reading this. Could she be intimidated?? I don't think she would be jealous of you, as you sound like a self-promoting woman, and she did not grow up that way. She grew up in the day where stay at home Mom's were the thing and she is very proud of her accomplishment, just as you are proud of yours. Get off your pedistool, and start showing her respect, she may, or may not, return the gesture, at least you tried. If that doesn't work, talk to your husband.
2006-12-28 23:24:53 · answer #2 · answered by ksgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she is hard to get along w/ because she feels intimidated by you. From your narrative you sound like a good looking, educated, enpowered woman. She sounds like your opposite, and maybe the exes have been more like her, so she felt like she had more in common with them. I suggest you find some common ground to meet her on and maybe you can warm up to each other, whether it is recipes, WWF, sewing, kids - whatever. Just find some topic you can discuss on a friendly level and that may open the door to a relationship that you can both tolerate. Ask her advice about something - it will help her self esteem and make you more approachable. ( I have my fingers crossed w/ that one).
2006-12-28 22:55:37 · answer #3 · answered by workingclasshero 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop worrying about how much better you are than her and maybe you guys could get along. Being well traveled or two college degrees or being thin or pretty or young or arrogant does not a good friend make all the time.
2006-12-28 22:57:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Seek professional help , get a mediator between the two of you and talk things out.
2006-12-28 22:53:01 · answer #5 · answered by betty_htch 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
BURN THE BIITCH AT THE STAKE
WHOOOO HA HA
NO REALLY YOU ARE OF MANY AMERICAN WOMEN WHO GO THROUGH THE SAME BS WITH THE OLD MOTHER IN LAW. ALL THE ONES i HAVE HAD HATED ME AND I TREATED THEIR SONS AND DAUGHTERS LIKE GOLD. SO SCREW HER AND THE FREAKIN HORSE SHE RODE UP ON!
YOU DO WHATEVER YOU WANT AND IF SHE IS GOING TO BE A BIITCH THEN KEEP HER AWAY FROM YOU AND YOUR SON!
2006-12-28 22:57:12 · answer #6 · answered by 3cents 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Do not go around her it is the only way.
2006-12-28 22:53:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Drive her to the mountains and leave her there.
2006-12-28 22:53:47 · answer #8 · answered by JoBlo 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
be thankful yours doesn't follow you every time you move! mine followed us even when we moved to another state!!!
2006-12-29 00:42:28 · answer #9 · answered by AppleLady 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋