my freind i met in highschool 7 years ago when we were 14.
when i met her she was pregnat cuz some guy moslested her or somthin. and i stuck around alot and we became real tigh and when the baby came he was named after me. and hes 7 now and calls me dad and i never said to him to call me that and he just does and he thinks that im his dad. his moms like i nevar said you where. and today he was asking me qeustions. :
him : daddy how come i dont look like you ?
me : cuz you look like your mom.
him : some parts of my face i dont look like you or my mom.
me : like what ?
him : i have grey eyes and you or mom doesnt.
me : my sister has grey eyes.
him : how come ezekeil myshliegh and alex all look like you and i dont ?
( those are my other kids who look just like me )
me : because your a leader and not a follower !
him : was i adopted ?
me : look how much popcorn i can fit in my mouthe !!
what am i supposed to tell him ? his mom has know idea what to say. and im out of popcorn
2006-12-28 14:21:32 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sit down with his mother and you both discuss how to explain this situation to him. It is not clear what relationship you have with his mother. If the two of you are together, then why dont you adopt the boy (if you love him and want to be his dad, and his real father will give up parental rights). If you are just friends with his mom, then the two of you will have to find a way to explain this to him. The longer you wait the harder it will be. He doesnt need a bunch of torrid details, if he has a friend whos mom is a single mother, perhaps you can explain that his situation is just like his friend _____, and that you are his special friend because you want to be in his life, and that you love him (if you do). You will find the right words...and the right thing to do...just search your heart. You sound like a good man. Good Luck.
2006-12-28 14:38:53 · answer #1 · answered by Renee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First I would ask myself some questions. Do you want to be his dad? Are you willing to stick around for the long run?
If you and the mother both want you, to be the father, then tell him you chose to be his father and that is what really matters. When he is older you can let him know about the other incident.
I would wait till he is at least old enough to realize that he was still wanted and that he is loved at all times.
I will pray for your family as I know it will not be easy to handle this I have had to explain it to my child and we went through some tough times he was young when he found out. The person he thought was his father was not his biological father. Think hard before you answer the question.
If you do not want to be the father then be honest and tell him I am not your biological father but I am here for you if you would let me be your friend and adviser.
Again I will be praying for your family.
2006-12-28 14:34:30 · answer #2 · answered by Cheryl D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to this child's mother and let her know that the truth needs to come out. (Not the total truth at this point) but the truth that you are not his daddy. If you want to be a daddy figure tell him that but don't lie to a child already confused. It would be different if everyone had the same features. The truth would still need to come out but it wouldn't be so mandatory.
2006-12-28 14:30:52 · answer #3 · answered by Sweetgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think his Mom should should be telling him what happened. It may hurt him for a while but he will get over it. children are smart and he seems to be curious and it could hurt him more by waiting till he gets older to tell him. Just continue to show him that you love him very much.
2006-12-28 14:35:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him the truth now - If he is old enough to ask he is old enough to understand.
You can also tell him that even though you are not his birth father, you are is dad.
Anyone can be a father but it takes a special man to be a dad.
2006-12-28 14:28:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you feel comfortable as a father figure and being called daddy by this child you need to tell him you are not his real father. if you keep this from him when he does find out he will hate you and the mother for lying to him.
2006-12-28 14:24:41 · answer #6 · answered by dumb_founded_01 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best i can say as a father (both mine and adopted) is be pacient with the young ones after all we asked a lot of questions when we were young. and besides teachers at schools arent the only ones that can teach our next generation. answer with courtasy and keep in mind their level of understanding. the good news is he has you their to ask.
IF ALL ELSE FAILS TALK TO HIS MOM AND ADMIT YOUR AMOUNT OF CARE FOR THIS SPECIAL YOUNG ONE.
2006-12-28 14:33:59 · answer #7 · answered by clay a 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you with her? or just friends? if you are with her, you love her and this kid then you ARE his father by raising him more than any biological father could be. But if you are just friends then you two needs to sits down and decided what to tell this kid because it will be messed up when she starts seeing someone.
2006-12-28 14:25:50 · answer #8 · answered by Ella727 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
simply by fact he gets delight in seeing human beings such as you react once you ask questions like this. Then he gets much greater interest then the 18 people who answer his questions.
2016-10-28 14:39:24 · answer #9 · answered by uday 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The kid is 7, he can handle it. Keep it from him any longer and there will be psychological repercussions down the road for him and/or you and/or her.
2006-12-28 14:28:23 · answer #10 · answered by vthokie4ever 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋