I've been seeing this guy that I met online for a month now. We're not exclusive because he's not ready and I wanted to give him some time. Now he says that he's been obsessing over his ex wife. He says that he does want to get over her and be happy. He says that he cares a great deal about me and doesn't want to lose me and he wants to talk 3-4 times a day because talking to me makes me happy. But, he calls her every day because he says he has to hear her voice. He drove by her house at 2 am and 4 am this morning because he couldn't get her out of his head. They were married for 10 years, have been divorced for about 5 and they have a kid together. He says he wants to let me show him what a relationship with me could be and he says i make him happy but that when we're not together he thinks about her. I really care about him but I'm not sure what I should do. Should I try and help him move on by keeping his mind off her or should I walk away?
2006-12-28 14:13:27 · 12 answers · asked by nechesser 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
u could try but if it dosent work just leave him and tell him to get over it
2006-12-28 14:26:00 · answer #1 · answered by dolphin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Walk, my dear girl, just walk. After 5 years, he should not be calling his ex 'to hear her voice', he should not be driving past her house twice during the night - he should not be doing anything other than concetrating on his new relationship with you. I can hardly believe that he is telling you these things he is feeling and I wonder why he does. he sounds, quite honestly, seriously depressed and probably obsessed. I think that after only one month you might consider getting out before you get any deeper into this. He sounds too needy and, quite honestly, too much like hard work.
Sorry to have been so blunt but I hope you will think carefully before proceeding with this.
2006-12-28 14:23:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did this before, had this wonderful great guy that would listen to all my problems so I leaned on him and leaned on him. He loved me but I just liked the "comfort factor" of him. Then I eventually walked away into another situation with a new promising man. You can wait for the same thing to happen because it will or you can move on.
2006-12-28 14:20:33 · answer #3 · answered by Sweetgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has been divorced for about 5 years and he still acts this way then I would say he has problems.
Red lights should be flashing for you when he drives by your place at those times.
Why would you want to be with someone who is not thinking about you when your together but an ex who has been gone for a while.
Steer clear.
2006-12-28 14:18:55 · answer #4 · answered by zen522 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why bother with this guy? All he is gonna do is break your heart. He's still in love and he wont be able to love you like he loves her. He needs alot of time to get over her. He should not even be trying to have a relationship with you. I been there and done that and it is just a waste of time. Move on to someone who isn't carrying baggage and hung up on another woman.
2006-12-28 14:18:11 · answer #5 · answered by mypassions4life 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs more time. You two cannot have a stable relationship with the "other woman". Even if she isn't on anything but his mind, there is only room for one. He needs more time... or maybe psychotherapy. Seriously might want to consider it if you are serious about him.
2006-12-28 14:16:03 · answer #6 · answered by chanteuse87 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless your available 24/7 your beating a dead horse. If he wants a relationship with you its up to him to take those steps. There is nothing you can do to make him change. Seems like your setting yourself up for a bad fall
2006-12-28 14:16:54 · answer #7 · answered by troys_wifey2003 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
nope it 's sounds to me like hes not ready to move on into a new relationship if he calls her everday and they have been divorced for 5 years maybe he does love you but he still stuck on his x-wife try to help him but if you see that it's just not working move on and do what you have to do for your self
2006-12-28 14:18:38 · answer #8 · answered by wesv6589 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there and done that. It's not fun. Don't go there yourself. Find someone who's not hung up on his ex so you're not second place and they don't compare you to them.
2006-12-28 14:16:01 · answer #9 · answered by freedove06 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he just wants to keep you on the side
2006-12-28 14:16:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋