I posted yesterday about a guy I've been seeing very intensely for 3 months. He came to meet my parents on Christmas, and they were very welcoming...even though he's got tattoos, smokes, not that great of a job. Thennn, throughout the conversation, he started making up little things, and that really made my parents upset. Long story short, they told me he was a BS-er and to let it go.
I know what they mean, and I'm hurt by his lying, because I've been really falling in love with him. He's made me want to be more open than I ever could be and made me laugh more than any other guy could.
So...the lying hurts, especially because it was so unneccessary, and now I don't know what to believe about him or his past. So I could just stay away and leave w/o saying anything, but it means too much to me. How can I talk to him about this and get him to be straightforward with me? And should I bother to do that?? He should know I'd love him with all his faults and w/o judgements... :(
2006-12-28 12:21:30 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
just calling him out on statements he makes... when he starts BSing, just come out and say, "what are you talking about - that never happened." or "I don't believe a word of it." or "you expect me to believe that?"... don't let him think he is getting away with it. He probably thinks people actually believe him.
2006-12-28 12:26:37 · answer #1 · answered by tampico 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him staight, in a nice tone of course, that you believe he is lying. If he's like "I'm not!" "Why do you think that?" Explain. If you definately know he's telling lies, or are 100% certain in your heart, be done with him unless there is a good reason for him to be lying (sometimes people do have good reasons). First, how do you know he's making it up if you've only been with him 3 months? You might be surprised. You chose him for some reason, your parents didn't. If the smoking, tats and bad job bothered you, why did you bother with him? You make him sound low to start with. That's not a valid excuse for dogging him, although he may very well be a dog, if you get my point. Don't let him manipulate you, if he's not reasonable, find someone else to spend your time with.
2006-12-28 20:33:38 · answer #2 · answered by christinedaae 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell him that you would love him with his faults. My best friend lies about everything and I can't stand it but I stay friends with her because I've been friends with her for so long. Yet, if I had just met her 3 months ago and seen that she was lying then I would have been gone a long time ago. I can't stand people that lie about anything. You gotta think about it, if he says that he has feelings for you or whatever... is he lying about that too? It's probably going to hurt you alot more if you find out later that he's been lying to you all the time and never cared about you. Just think about that.
2006-12-28 20:27:57 · answer #3 · answered by Erika 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure what the dynamic of your relationship is, so I don't know how you go about things with each other, but if you want to talk about it just come right out and tell him you need to talk to him about something, and try to have a healthy discussion about it. That being said I have a two very close friends who are in the habit of lying. In my experience, if someone is like that, they are not going to change. Good luck, and i hope it works out for the best.
2006-12-28 20:29:27 · answer #4 · answered by Mr. O'Flanagan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should tell him that you have a crush on him and tell him it hurts your parents feeling and yours. That should work,because I've tried it before. Both of you could have a date somewhere and talk about it, too. Good luck!!!:)
2006-12-28 20:30:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't care who knows he is a liar....by the way it's said
if you lie, you can also steal and other things. Your parents
are right, let him go now before he uses you and your parents
Please .......stop he is not going to change...he has a very big
problem and you're too young to try and change him....
2006-12-28 20:35:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If a person can lie to your parents face right in front of you, hes not worth your time, your parents are right. and you can tell him by saying , my parents and I know that you were lying to them when you were talking, and they felt that you were dis respecting them and me, I care about you, but I deserve someone who is honest . and trust worthy. and walk away.
2006-12-28 20:28:03 · answer #7 · answered by misty blue 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this answer might be a little common and unoriginal but you HAVE to tell him how you feel....just say what you wrote earlier in your question but rephrase it. and you might not want to do it but its really the only way youll let him know how you truely feel. =))
2006-12-28 20:26:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg i have been kinda seeing a guy just like that, he lies about the stupidest little things, but hes like the most amazing guy ever. and i know when he is usually but its hard to believe whats true and whats not . its hard to trust him but i realllyy reallly like him && i just dont know how to say to him, look i know your BS'ing,
2006-12-28 20:26:59 · answer #9 · answered by beybii_giirll 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sit him down and tell him point blank that u no he's a liar and see where the conversation goes
2006-12-28 20:25:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋