im a single mother 26 of two kids find it hard to get a guy WHY!?

Answer 1

Many guys do not want to have to compete for your attention with two people that will ALWAYS come first in your life...at least that is what he will be percieving. Plus it leaves open the possibility of continuing ties to an ex, when visitation time rolls around. Besides, he will have to share his & your time & money on two entities that are not really his problem.

But alot of what it comes down to, on a subconscious level is that those two kids do not represent his genic line (this is known as "the selfish gene", or Sociobiology). Just as you would be upset if your man was having an affair with someone else--sharing his time, energy & resources with a family line you have no vested interest in, when these resources rightfully should be fully shared with you--a guy would have to think twice about committing to supporting/parenting children that are not of his bloodline. These things are what lies underneath male and female jealousy: she is not getting everything he has to offer a mate, and he is being duped into helping to further the line of some other mans genes.

However, in humans, there is much more joy to be had in parenting--even if they are not your own; the above only addresses subconscious instincts. There was nothing more appealing to me in the world but to parent a child, so I saw it as a blessing, or a "two-for-the-price-of-one" deal when I married the mother of my 3 children, who had a 6 year old boy already. To me, it was a lucrative package deal, and I still treat the "boy" as one of my own...who has now given me "grandkids". But not all guys feel this way about it, and I hope I have been able to give you some clues as to why.

Answer 2

very good question, i'll tell you what i know from my own experience, being a single dad finding it hard to get a girl

as was told to me by several women in my life, (friends of course), women don't want to be involved with a man that already has children, especially ones living with him, because they fear the baby mama drama that may come up or they do not want to be a mom to someone elses kids or they want a guy to have fun and having kids around severely limits the ammount of fun you can have.

this same story holds mostly true to single moms finding a guy, but with a few twists.

guys in your age bracket are not yet completely into the family thing, and are mostly still into being single and having fun, they are not ready for the responsibility of helping to raise children, especially ones that are not their own, guys in your age just want to have fun and a girl with kids is going to seriously limit the amount of fun that a guy can have.

guys that age are sometimes into the virginity complex, meaning that they would like to feel that they were the first, or as close to being the first that they could be, and your children would be a sore reminder that they were not the first and there is always someone there.

there is also the baby daddy thing, guys don't want the extra drama that comes from being with a woman that has children with a different man, because that would involve contact with the other man and therefore brings some competition into the situation

some men view a woman with kids as being damaged or having emotional baggage that guys just don't want to deal with (again the fun factor) or being cheap or sleazy in certain extreme situations

but all this pertains to guys around your age, once a guy gets a little older then things start to change and guy become more mature and accepting of a single mom and even willing to take on the responsibility of someone elses child

this is all just a glimpse into the working mind of a stereotypical guy and there are a few acceptions to the rule, but mostly this is how guys act and even if they say they don't their mind still works this way and reality will set in

sorry to hear about your troubles in the dating world, i know i've had mine (thats why i'm not in it anymore), but if you keep looking and actually look for a genuine good guy to spend time with instead of trying to recapture your youth and single days then i am sure you will eventually run into someone worthy of you and your children

good luck

Answer 3

Good luck, Dionne. Most fellows are a little intimidated by the responsibility for a family like that. It's a lot to ask of a guy, even if you're getting big money child support it means that every vacation for the next 15 years will be a family affair. It takes a certain mindset and I hope you find him.

Answer 4

Generally guys don't want to clean up someone else's mess. Past relationships always bring baggage. The kids won't except the new guy & many guys either want their own kids, or like me do not want any period! There are too many people in the world already.

Answer 5

Single mother with kids is a death sentence to most men.

Answer 6

Because gus dont want to get women with kids already!

Answer 7

Ready made family may scare them off.

Answer 8

Erm Yh True guyz Dont Like Womnz with 2 kidz:'(........... i hope u going to find that right man......................look after ur self..................people can change in a 1sec..........take care xxx