My hubby & I been married 3 years, known each other for 6. I have rejected him, pushed him away and have taken him for granted. He has had enough and am living 4 hours away and he is bringing my stuff back to my parents house on Saturday. I have started counseling since I want to lead a better life and appreciate the people in my life. My husband keeps telling me to give up and move on. We have been separated since last Friday. Is he still angry and being irrational, or do you think he's serious? I'm wondering if reality has set in with him yet and maybe he'll consider working on our marriage. He has always said that he doesn't believe in divorce and would exercise all options before divorce, but we haven't. He said he's very hurt and emotionally detached from me. I called his mom to talk, no answer, he called minutes later and told me not to contact them. Someone please help! I believe in our marriage & he doesn't! How should I act when he drops my stuff off? Please help!!
2006-12-28 10:55:28 · 8 answers · asked by SillyKimmie 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Here's the latest if someone could help. My hubby dropped off my stuff last night, we talked for two hours about how hurt he was and has serious concerns about us. His heart is telling him to work on our marriage, but his brain is stopping him since he has been hurt. I told him I couldn't take the pain away or change the past, but that I'm on the way to a better path and am not ready to give up on our marriage. He also mentioned that he wanted to get together to print off divorce papers off the net and fill them out together. This is what has happened since last Friday. Things are moving way too fast. Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated. Thank you!
2006-12-30 11:29:29 · update #1
Sounds like you need help! Get it!
As for your marriage, I would guess that depends if you get help!
2006-12-31 12:33:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anarchy99 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now I understand your answer. But I am in a further stage, my ex. even had a short relation and I am willing to forgive her. I believe she is the right person for me, I just want to do the right thing. It has nothing to do, that I can not get anybody else... I just feel good around her, I can be myself, we laugh, same ideas. We are separated more than 2 years ago and during that time she relaxed more and we do se each other once in a while for diner, movies, etc... I don't feel that I waste time, it's just I want to feel secure that it will become all right in the future. In the beginning the distance was tremendous, now it's smaller.... but I want to understand what does that mean?
My suggestion is, stay in contact.... but don't push it. Otherwise he will move further away, just ask him if you can call him once in a while, keep in contact. And tell him that you need him. What I still do and did for the past 2 years.
2006-12-29 04:12:47 · answer #2 · answered by John Th 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, our situation is so similar. I too took my wife for granted and she had an affair. I realized like you that I wasn't appreciating her, my friends, my family like I should. ....7 months later she still will not even attempt to try and see if things can work. We have two wonderful kids and had a wonderful calm and happy family life too.
It breaks my heart and the only ways I have been able to deal with her brutality is to leave her alone and treat her like she doesn't exist.
Just pray and hope for the best and don't lose the feeling that you now appreciate life and want to start over being a better person.
2006-12-29 21:46:49 · answer #3 · answered by HonestGuy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
aww hun I know this is a hard time for you but the best thing to do is just wait it out. It hasn't been very long since you seperated and he may just still be angry and hurt. give him time to sort out his thoughts. as for calling his mom..... I know you want answers and I know that seems like the next best place to get them but don't call her. That is his support structure and you need to respect that. Just as you have your parents to support you. I can't say it enough give him time, don't blow up his phone or drop by his house or leave him lots of emails, give him a time frame. tell yourself in a week or so you will call and see where things are at but no contact untill then unless he initiates it.
I have been where you are and overwhelming the guy is the worst thing you can do. I know its hard just try to be strong
I hope all works out for you in the end
2006-12-28 20:23:28 · answer #4 · answered by candi k 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's angry and he's hurt. Good decision to go to counseling and do continue on that route. In my experience, you do not want to beg him or push him. You need to prove to him that you are trying, that you are interested in your marriage and you are changing. I know it's hard to prove when he doesn't want to talk to you but you'r on the right road. Try asking him to join you in counseling after you have been going for a bit and see where that leads. Hopefully he'll go even if it starts as wanting to see if there really can be a change. Either way don't give up on yourself.
2006-12-28 20:21:15 · answer #5 · answered by baconbit 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should leave him alone. If he wants to work things out he will come to you. If he is willing to just give up then maybe there isn't as much there as you are wanting to believe.
2006-12-28 20:21:36 · answer #6 · answered by jenw1403 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
silly kim you need help honestly I did not comeoff toyou wrong but youcalledme and idoit and I would appreciate if you didn't try to be an internet ganster
2006-12-31 20:27:54 · answer #7 · answered by Cheare C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U need serious help. He is done leave him alone.
2006-12-29 00:02:10 · answer #8 · answered by Greed...Is Good 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋