should i stay with him .. or just move on ?

Question

okay so im 14 and ive been with this kid for 3 years now, i love him very much .. people tell me im to young to love but this feeling i have is love, i just know it. i want to get over him so baddly, he treats me like an angel, but he always breaks up wiht me becuase hes so insecure about himself. whenever we break up he usually finds another girl and immediately supposedly likes her, but always tells me he loves me still and the feelings he has for me will never change. and hes known to be a jerk in my school, and everyone that knows him sees that when hes with me, hes just a totally different person (in a good way). and sometimes hell get mad becuase he thinks i screw up the relationships he trys to get, but its relaly just him. but when i try to move on to other guys, he pulls me rihgt back in ! .. what should i do ?

Answer 1

Are you familar with the term 'player'? Because it sounds like he's playing you.

and, 14 is really kind of young to know what love is. There is a big difference between love and infatuation, and it sounds like you're infatuated. Most people, even at 20 and 30 and older don't know what it's really like to be in love and be loved in return. And the hardest part of young 'love' is to accept the fact that what you thought was love really wasn't, but you proably won't realize it wasn't until way later in life.

Every one deserves to be happy, with or without another person. You need to find happiness in yourself before trying to seek a relationship with anyone. Wether or not you make him a better person when you're around won't matter if he's just using you as something to fall back on when other opportunities go awry.

You need to walk away. Take some time to yourself to heal. And then, if you feel like you absoultly MUST be in a relationship start looking elsewhere. But, the biggest misconception a young girl can make is thinking she NEEDS a man to make her life better in some way. YOU DONT NEED ANYONE BUT YOURSELF to be happy, and that's the same thing i'm going to try to get my daughters to understand as they grow up. A relationship is nothing more than icing on the cake to a happy and content life. But in a life in turmoil a relationship only drags you down further because you make the mistakes of being with men who are far below the quality that you deserve.

Another thing, if you have been 'attached' to him, although it doesn't sound like it's been one solid block of time, for three years, you'd have met him when you were 11. I doubt you did much dating prior to that....even if kids are starting these things younger and younger....Anyway, point being, how can you know what you want for yourself if you've only ever been with one guy the whole time? I think it's important for people to get out and experience the world before commiting into a serious relationship. At 14 you should be considering different options availalbe to you, and limiting yourself to just one boy will limit your life's experiences.

Now, i'm NOT saying go out and sleep with everyone who will have you, but when you're physcially, emotionally and mentally ready for (perferably non-sexual) relationships and begin to date, you should offer yourself a variety so that you can learn what kind of man will best fit your personality. Chances are that you won't strike gold the first time you throw down the shovel.

Answer 2

Let him go and give yourself time to grow and reflect. I know it's tough but it isn't working out well the way it's happening and is only hurting you both more. It wont hurt so bad down the road a little ways. If you and he are meant to be together, there will come a right time for you both. Let him date, go ahead and date others yourself (safely and responsibly) and don't let him back in every time he says he wants back in your life. Make him prove to you that you are worth more to him than something he can toss away and fish back out of the trash whenever he feels like it.

Answer 3

Move on you are way to young to be with some one for 3 years already. If he wants to be with other girls let him go. He does not really love you.

Answer 4

Ok, u dont really make sence 2 me?!? If he treatz u well, and he alwayz sayz tht u r messing the relationship up, and he is finding another women when u guyz break up, then dont be with eachother. I dont think it wud b good, cuz he seemz to be lblaming u 4 everythin'.... i think u shud get over him.

Answer 5

dump him becuase it sounds like he is desperate, but at the same time he must really like you but is scard to show his feelings.
you dont want to get into a relationship like that becuase there could be mixed emotions and people could take things in a different way.
tell him that you want to be friends and then if he is ready to be your bf again give him a chance.

Answer 6

wow 3yrs? i know wat you mean when you say ppl say ur to young to love i've been told that too and im 14. umm well by the way you describe him he seems lky a good person but then bad. if you really love him then talk to him and try to work on his attitude and stuff. and some pple are just lyk that they act differently around different ppl sometimes it's just neccessary. but i think u should stay wit him cuz it does sound lyk u love him. well good luck.

Answer 7

Move on, don't think of relationships for now and concentrate on your studies, my dear! You will have lots of time to find guys later.

Answer 8

break up wiv him or jus keep listenin to this song lol

JESSE MCCARTNEY LYRICS

"Right Back In The Water"

I could tell by the look in her eyes
Maybe I'm just one of her lies
'Cause I know we've been through this so many times
Still I'm here though I'm burning up inside

[Chorus:]
And I try to walk away but I keep telling myself
She's the one for me
'Cause her love is so contagious
It keeps pulling me in
We were meant to be
And I can't leave her
We're right back in the water

I could tell by the look in her eyes
All my friends keep telling me now's the time
But I know
Just the notion saying goodbye
Breaks my heart it tears me up inside

[Chorus]

So we're right back singing
Ooooh, ooooh c'mon, ooooh, ooooh c'mon
I wanna walk by but there is something that won't let me
Ooooh, ooooh c'mon, ooooh, ooooh c'mon
She's the one that's always there
I could tell by the look in her eyes
Maybe I'm just another one of her lies

[Chorus]
lol

Answer 9

Move on. You're only 14

Answer 10

He sounds like a loser! You should move on!