About two months ago my boyfriend broke up with me out of no where. I'm still having a hard time with it.

Question

We had been together 15 months, the last month of which he spent recovering from emergency open heart surgery. A friend of mine keeps telling me I "should be over it" and moving on by now. I still miss him, and am very sad over it. Am I nuts for not moving on yet? Please, no smart @ss answers, I'm looking for genuine advice.

Answer 1

you love him just keep it real and let him know if you wanna but dont go crawling back... take your time... somsone may come along as well as not.

Answer 2

No, you are not crazy/nuts for not moving on. And your 'friend' that keeps telling you that you 'should be over it' isn't being sensitive to your feelings. Some people can move on easily after a break up and for others it takes a long time. I believe that only time can heal a broken heart, and telling someone that they 'should be over it' only makes it harder to move on. So, don't listen to your so-called friend...she doesn't know what she's talking about. Just take your time getting over him...15 months is a long time to date someone and that person shouldn't be forgotten in a month or two. It might take you 2 or months more to be over him, and it might take you even longer. It took me like 8 months to fully be over my ex, and i do catch myself still thinking about him occassionally. Take your time and I wish you all the best.

Answer 3

As someone that has just recently gone through the same thing and probably is still going through it. It is a process. you are grieving the loss of your companion,lover and friend.It is just if they died.

For women it generally takes 6 months to 1 year after a deeply involved relationship to recover and be ready to go out and find love again. For most men it take half the time.As Men are not as emotional creatures as women.
Just take your time sweetie. Make new friends, see old friends, take care of yourself, excersize(it relieves tension and anger).

Sit down and write all your feelings out on paper and process it and then either trash it or burn it. Get rid of anything around that reminds you of the relationship.Store if if you wish or just trash it. Main thing here is it takes time and when you are ready to move on you will know and feel it.

Answer 4

Oh i jst want to give you a big hug and tell you that its going to be ok! :)

What your feeling is perfectly normal and given the trauma you guys went through it does make things more difficult.

Let me just say that your friend is not you and if your not ready to move on yet then you just take your time. No-one can tell you when it is the right time to move on.

My advise to you is firstly go out and pamper yourself a little, which might mean get yourself a new out fit, colour/cut your hair or go and a manicure!

Secondly surround your self with friends that will cheer you up, make you laugh and not tell you that you should be getting over him and moving on.

And do something new with your free time. Join something or do something, keeping yourself busy will help you not think of your ex like you are, and also it'll make you feel heaps better!

Answer 5

It's called a grieving period. The average time is 3-5 months to get over it. You obviously loved him deeply and are hurting. You don't know what caused it and are confused, need closure. Just take care of yourself. Your friend doesn't understand and no you aren't nuts for not moving on. Bottom line, is take care of yourself.

Answer 6

Been there. the thing is why he broke it off. if you look back at the last 15 months, there was something wrong. he didn't just leave for nothing. yea, it hurts but you will be okay, it takes time. i know you are asking yourself, what did i do wrong? don't blame yourself. first is you love him, then you hate him then when you get to where you have NO feelings for him , you will know in your heart its over. yea, sometimes when you get mad, you feel better. sounds stupid , but I know. Good luck. They do come a dime a dozen. just like a telephone pole, every 50 feet, you see one. again, good luck !!

Answer 7

No it's not wrong that you haven't moved on yet....If i were you I would have a really hard time as I get attached easily and have a very hard time letting go. Most people make it sound so easy to move on and they only make me feel worse by saying that! I really hope things get easier for you....but just remember, you'll heal at your own pace *hugz*

Answer 8

It is hard to move on when you have been with someone for 15 months. There is plenty of fish in the sea. Girlfriend its time to move on. Once you find someone else than you will forget all about him.

Answer 9

Sometimes we can't get over someone as fast as everyone thinks we should.When he broke up with you, he is old enough to know what he wants.You need to try and see that he now has what he wants---life without you in it.It hurts but he made his choice.Sorry, you will recover and love again, this I'm sure of.....

Answer 10

Every one is different, when you lose a loved one, no matter what way it is you have to grieve. No one can tell you when to go on...Maybe the boyfriend did not want to be a burden to you.. I am not sure, but whatever you decide it is your choice, You will know when you want to go out and meet someone new, and you will be free for the former love...good luck

Answer 11

A heartbreak is always hard to deal with but, if its not meant to be, its not meant to be. Time is the only thing that will heal you. In order to get over a break-up, you gotta do positive things to occupy your mind and try not to think of it so much.