just curious cuz i have a friend that thinks that her ex that cheated on her after they went out for a yr might have changed...so she may be willing to go back to him now that he wants her back now that she got a new BF. She is really confused and in a dillemma becuase she says she loved her ex, but really likes her new BF (been going out for a month) because he is as near perfect as one can get and treats her soo good. So she really doesnt know what she wants.....Should she try to fix her year long relationship that was once full of love? Or move on and build this new relationship? She says its not fair to the new BF because she feels so guilty all the time because she isnt giving him back the full trust n love he deserves as he is giving her...
2006-12-28 10:08:19 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
a bird in the hand...
the ex already has a bad record and she is considering going back
the new guy treats her well and she is considering giving that up.
I say the new guy should run far and fast. And you should tell him that now.
2006-12-28 10:13:19 · answer #1 · answered by g g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend is not ready to be in another committed relationship, and that's what she should make clear to the new guy without ruling him out. She doesn't have to stop dating him but why hook up into another relationship so soon after the breakup? That's kind of like transferring feelings because she doesn't want to be alone, which would not be bad for her. She needs time to reflect and figure out what she thinks is absolutele important in a relationship and what is absolutely not allowable. Date around a little. The ex-boyfriend doesn't particularly deserve another chance in my opinion. There is no good excuse for deceit. He only wants her back because he doesn't have her he doesn't want someone else to have her. If she took him back, he would reason that it's okay to cheat on her because he got away with it once. She would be showing no respect for herself and so he would sense that and also not respect her.
2006-12-28 10:16:10 · answer #2 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that she should stay with this new guy and try to build a relationship with him. If this ex of her's is really that great he will always be around for her, and she can give it a shot if things don't seem to work out otherwise. Remind her that she deserves better than being cheated on even if he has changed. This guy may be a lot better for her, and she should give him a chance.
2006-12-28 10:12:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My take on this issue is pretty firm. No F@cking way should anyone forgive another for cheating! If you do this, you will be giving this person the license to do it again. She will just get hurtagain, Love is different in every relationship. Instead of dweliing on what qualities she may be missing from the old relationship, she she should more focus, on the fact that this new B/F is not cheating on her. A quality that was seriously lacking in the previous.
2006-12-28 10:15:15 · answer #4 · answered by Brian Z 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally think that she should spend some time alone if you can't trust anyone fully. The last thing that you need to do after getting your heart broken is get confused. But if she just has to pick one fo them, I always say that you should move on and experience something new. You already know that the other guy has in store for you why not take a risk?
2006-12-28 10:12:22 · answer #5 · answered by Angel H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
APPARENTLY THINGS AREN'T TOO GREAT IF SHE IS STILL THINKING ABOUT HER EX, AND SHE HAS A MAN.
I HAVE BEEN IN THIS SITUATION, AND I WON'T SAY "ONCE A CHEATER, ALWAYS A CHEATER" BECAUSE IT'S NOT TRUE, AND PEOPLE DO CHANGE. THE QUESTION IS - DOES SHE WANT TO GO BACK TO HER OLD BOYFRIEND BECAUSE HE HAS THAT COMFORT ZONE ABOUT HIM?
HOW LONG WERE THEY APART BEFORE SHE MET MR. INCREDIBLE? SHE MAY NOT HAVE HAD TIME TO HEAL FROM THE HURT OF SOMEONE CHEATING ON YOU, BUT AT THE SAME TIME - SHE MAY BE IN A REBOUND RELATIONSHIP THAT WHO IS TO SAY MR. INCREDIBLE WON'T DO SOMETHING TO WIN HER HEART.
I DON'T KNOW, EXACTLY - I'VE BEEN THERE, AND I WENT BACK - AND REGRETTED IT LATER, AND THEN I'VE HAD IT HAPPEN AGAIN (WITH SOMEONE DIFFERENT) AND I NEVER LOOKED BACK. THANKFULLY I DIDN'T BECAUSE I AM MARRIED TO MY "REBOUND" NOW...
THESE THINGS ARE ALWAYS TRICKY - I SAY SHE SHOULD DO WHAT HER HEART FEELS SHE NEEDS TO DO, AND YOU DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT SINCE IT'S NOT YOU AND OFFER YOUR SUPPORT NO MATTER WHAT... : )
2006-12-28 10:16:26 · answer #6 · answered by ~rani rae~ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok just to be sure. She knows that her ex cheated on her? Or she thinks he does? If she knows, then she needs to move on. The guy didn't love her enough to respect her. He cheated on her for peat sakes. She does not deserve a guy who cheats on people. She is better than that. She needs a great guy who will respect her. Which sounds like her new BF.
2006-12-28 10:15:27 · answer #7 · answered by dddddoor 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A 365 days and a nil.5 in the past I went via the comparable subject different than no order. enable's see... cheated, is residing with somebody else, no resentment, and an order of risk-free practices, why might you want to bypass back? you comprehend your ideas is telling you do no longer yet your letting your heart get interior the way, please do no longer bypass back. minimize all contacts along with her and her family participants, make adjustments on your existence (acquaintances, circulate, new selection etc etc) and supply your self a while to heal. good success!
2016-11-24 21:09:10 · answer #8 · answered by comella 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we all know what the right answer is: that she should stay w/ her new bf. but then again if people force her or if she force herself to be w/ the new guy inspite of the fact that she really doesnt feel the same feeling she did w/ her ex then it wouldnt work anyway. i dont think "i will learn to love him" would work. she needs time alone to figure out what she wants.
2006-12-28 10:23:24 · answer #9 · answered by mich 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she should stay with her new BF and let that old one go
2006-12-28 10:14:51 · answer #10 · answered by jwaddles53 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋