dating someone your not attracted to?

Question

Im going out with this nice gurl that really likes me. but the only thing is that - i dont like her as much as she likes me! her life has been a living hell - but ever since she started dating me - it's all going good for her! shes been getting good grades in skool, she listens to her mom more, and she gets a long w/ almost everyone. my friends tell me that i should keep dating her - because sometimes it takes a while for "love" to spark (according to them). i dont know wat to do because if i break up w/ her - she might turn back to her old ways! and if im still w/ her - im going to feel weird around her! WAT SHOULD I DO? ANY ADVICE? HURRY BEFORE SHE WANTZ 2 GO TO THE NEXT LEVEL...

Answer 1

First of all we need more men who care the way you do. Although those are not the reasons a relationship should thrive. Her life was a living hell before you, now you've opened her door to the dating world. She may have only been lonely and fell quicker for you because you fullfilled a hole in her life. Now you need to explain to her that there are other people out there who can make her feel just as special if not more special. Tell her you're willing to be friends with her but there are other men out there to love her more than you can commit.

Answer 2

I really think your being a nice guy. You see things going good in her life. That's because she happy. But what she needs to no that a person can't make you always happy. She might go back to her old ways. But before you let her go. Tell her that you still want to see her do good and don't go back being crazy, you know the way she was. Let her no if she does, that would bug you. And that you be around. But right now you need your space. Or maybe you can stick around and maybe you might really like her. who knows

Answer 3

ok hun u need to just relax first of all. how long have u been dating?? if it hasnt been over a month then contineu to date her till the month is over. if u still dont feel anything of a romantic emotion then break up with her. tell her you really tried to like her, but honestly you don't have that kind of attraction. but tell her not be sad, shes a great girl and she has been acting better then ever and should continue her behavior and find a new bf soon. oh and if she wants to go to the next level b4 the month is over just tell her ur not ready, and hopefully she'll understand and respect ur wants as u would hers. got nething else then just message me on yahoo, brunetteofyourdreams

Answer 4

My advice would be to have a talk with her. Just tell her that you like her, but that you simply don't feel any chemistry between you two. Be gentle and choose your words carefully.

I mean, you can't just go out with her out of pity, or to make everyone else happy. This relationship only involves you and her, no one else. Don't beat yourself down just cause you don't like her. After all, love is not a one-way street... it's sounds like a relationship doomed to fail. Better break it off before things start to heat up and get more complicated.

Answer 5

I almost cried when I read this...my dad had died and he was like my best friend. Then my mom got remarried, my brother moved out and I got dumped to top it off! Then I met a guy at my church named Colby. He made me feel loved and to someone depressed, that's something special. You need to talk to her, I mean really. But another idea after you break up is...don't laugh...try to find her someone else! A friend of a friend, a brother anyone. I'm telling you it works! People having hard times just need a shoulder to cry on. But most of all, be her friend even after you're over. She needs you.

Answer 6

Become attracted to her. Why would you have dated her in the first place, if you weren't attracted to her?

Sometimes love does take some building on to really feel it. Look at yourself, and look at her, and find all the good things involved in your relationship. She might not be the most attractive person in the world, but if she treats you well, and you treat her well, love will reside.

Answer 7

Do what is best for you. If you date her to "help" her you will only make life more difficult in the end for both of you. You will end up putting her on a pedestal to rationalize your relationship with her and she will then take control of you and destroy your dignity. I've seen it happen. You are eroding her dignity by dating her to "help" her. If you want to help people, start a charity or volunteer in your community, don't date or marry somebody. You will only create an unhealthy codependent relationship in which your being with her becomes your act of martyrdom and she uses you (and sometimes denigrates you) to validate her self esteem. You may end up marrying her to make her happy and she will make your life a living hell in return for your 'favor.' It will never end. Do not listen to your friends. They do not get it, they only care about their little vision of a fairytale that will never happen. This is not sustainable if it is not mutual. It is a bandaid solution and your are just a crutch from which she may never get off. Let her grow up independently and focus on helping yourself instead.

In our ancient Hindu scriptures, there is a story of a young boy who spoke with a swami (priest). He told him of how he saw a caterpillar trying to break out of its cocoon. He then helped it, watched it fly up and then crash in midair to the ground and get eaten by a brigade of fire ants. He asked what happened. The swami said "Young man, you denied the caterpillar the struggle it needed to become a strong healthy butterfly."

Don't deny her the struggle of growing up independently. Help her by rejecting her until you feel that she has become a worthy and attractive partner to you.

Answer 8

just end it.........there is no point in keeping something going if you don't feel the same way......
try and stay friends, and her grades are on the up n up try and help her with her studies, start a study group and maybe she'll find someone new you never know

Answer 9

break up with her b 4 her feelings get stronger 4 u. Sometimes u have to be cruel to be kind.

Answer 10

i really think you need to give it time.. If that doesn't work then she or u will move on to better things in life! shee sounds nicee that shee listens too her mom andd gets a long with everyonee! :]