Why do people who have children treat childless couples like dirt?

Question

I'm tired of being treated like a freak because my wife and I cannot have kids. I find families in public to be rude, pushy and generally a nuisance to be around. I think most people have kids because it is "the normal thing to do" and put no thought into it. They just want the excuse to buy that gas-guzzling SUV. I find soccer moms to be about the most annoying people on Earth. I am SO tired of being asked if I have kids or when we plan to - our reproduction habits are NOT anyone's business! Why do you have to have children to be considered "grown up"? Does anyone understand that it HURTS my wife when they constantly bug her about it and/or flaunt the fact that they have kids? People with kids are NO more important than me!

Answer 1

They treat you like dirt because they realize now that they made a huge mistake in having their own kids and are insanely jealous that you don't have your lives disrupted by ill mannered brats who do nothing more than drain your bank accounts and get into trouble with the law.

The next time someone asks you if you have kids just reply, "No, my wife and I are far too wise for that."

Answer 2

Take a deep breath- it could help a little. Not everyone with kids are like that. I'm not that type. I know everyone has children for a different reason. I got pregnant by accident- had been on the birth control pill for over 5 yrs taking it regularly...but another medication at the time interferred. Anyways, my husband and I welcomed our baby, and made everything work out even though it was a huge shock! I have friends who can't have children, and when I was pregnant, it was hard to be around them, only because I simply did not want to flaunt being pregnant-there isn't any hiding when you are 6 months along. This couple actually went on vacation with my family. So I was always paranoid about it, yet at the same time, I didn't want to stop my happiness- but I never once flaunted or gloated that I was pregnant and they weren't. well, it turned out, when we all got back from vacation, they annouced she was pregnant! They had tried all kinds of things- medications, a surgery of some type, and other different things to try to help them, and they sure enough became pregnant!!! So my advice to you, if you and your wife truly want a baby, try to see all of your options, and if it's not possible, and you'd still love to have children, maybe consider adoption. If not, whatever the case, it's ok!!!!! You shouldn't have to justify yourself to everyone on this earth why you two do not have a child. So simply tell people to butt out! Then they might get the hint. I'm sorry people are doing this to you- they aren't normal people. I feel normal people would have it in their hearts to be kind and caring, and respect other people's decisions and not interfere in others lives. So even though a tremendous amount of ppl are doing this to you guys, know there are some good people out there who wouldn't.

P.S.- we dont' have an SUV lol, and I'm not a soccer Mom either lol I think there are married couples and unmarried couples with children who do not act "grown up" at all too. So there are tons of ppl out there, all different kinds too, not just one type. And you are correct, people with children are NOT more important than you. I wish you and your wife the best, and again, I'm sorry and apologize for those rude ones out there. Enjoy all the time you get with your wife- that's one thing I do miss with my husband, is all that alone free time, going to a movie, to dinner, things like that, that we really can't do anymore - we don't really have family around, so it makes it difficult. Love one another, and try to live happy lives! :)

"Live, Love, Laugh!"

Answer 3

I'm sorry you're going through that. We have a child, but we'll never drive an suv (we're hippies lol) or be a soccer mom. I think the only time I get upset with a childless couple is when they rag on us to go "party" with them, some don't understand that we don't use babysitters since we cosleep at night or that I'd rather relax than drink. I think it boils down to who you hang out with or come across. I also have met some annoying people with kids who act like they own the mall because they have strollers or that they think their kid is going to be a future president while the child is drawing circles on the walls with crayons in a restraunt! I don't ask others about kids unless they bring it up, I had a bout with infertility so I know what a jab that is.

Answer 4

Well I have a child, never owned an SUV, always had an "econo box". Wasn't a soccer mom, daughter wasn't interested. But I understand where you are coming from. I have an only child by CHOICE and have people tell me over and over how "sad" it is that she grew up without siblings, that she missed so much. About all she "missed" were the constant battles brought on by sibling rivalry. I always figured whether one parented or not was a choice not a must for married couples. But I can't tell you how many weddings I've been to where the mother of either the bride or groom will start harping on how "it's now time to give us some grandbabies". Actually it's time to live your lives YOUR way and don't let that one group of people with children color your opinion of all of us. Those are just parents who are totally miserable being parents and they want EVERYONE else to suffer as well...they are in fact JEALOUS of you.

Answer 5

I understand how you feel, I felt that way until we had a child. It is like a click in society. You are right it is no ones business to ask when are you having children. It is such a personal question that does not effect anyone, so why ask? Who knows. Since we have a baby I try to be not make anyone feel that way although I see it from the other side. And I do get jealous that people with no children have so much free time and not have to worry about a poopy butt. The grass isn't always greener. And we should all just be happy with what we have. Good luck to you and your family.

Answer 6

Please, before you generalize, get out a little more and meet some folks who aren't like this. My husband and I went 12 years without being able to have kids, and were never treated substandard or rudely because we didn't have kids. Now that we have 3 and another adoption in progress, we don't treat our friends who don't have kids any differently. People ask if you're gonna have kids because they want to share your JOY, not because they want to know your reproductive habits. Try thinking less about your disappointment in not being able to have biological kids, and give an abandoned Chinese orphan a loving home or any kid for that matter... get the chip off your shoulder. No one is more important than anyone else, but don't attack US because we have kids, I waited 12 long years to finally get it through my head that God didn't intend for me to bear children, he intended me to adopt and so i got off my butt and got the paperwork done. Biology and genetics alone don't make you a parent... you have to want and need to be a parent and bust your butt to be a good one.

Answer 7

I think once people have kids their whole lives revolve around them and they can't imagine why anyone wouldnt want what they have. People shouldn't be so rude, but I know what its like. We were told by two different doctors that we would have to have help conceiving and all our friends had kids. It starts to really make you mad when they should know how bad you want children but they insist on flaunting the fact that they can have as many as they want. I even had a friend who would be talking about her kids to some other mom in a store and actually mention to a perfect stranger that i couldnt get pregnant. Somehow/someway without any help I got pregnant and it blew my mind, but now I find myself straying away from the people who would drive me crazy. I wanted children but I had also accepted the fact that it just might not happen. I think people without children forget what its like not to have kids, and I think part of them miss that freedom so they feel it neccessary to belittle those without children to make themselves feel better.

Answer 8

I agree with you. I think soccer moms suck. I have children but I think it is a totally personal decision. Nobodies business. I have to deal with people telling me that I have too many kids (4) and what birth control hubby and I are using. I feel just like you. I don't invite anyone in our bedroom so don't invite yourself. Next time someone asks your wife about children she should tell them she will have one as soon as she isn't supporting all the ones people have without thinking about it. Perhaps it will shut them up. Also.. hubby and I don't go out much because we know nobody wants to see the food in our children's mouths. And there are times we look at childless couples. Not to judge. Just to be a little jealous.

Answer 9

you are right! but it seems like you want children so maybe its a sensitive issue, I hope you get the chance It's a joy and you will be great parents because you will appreciate your child more then most It's a blessing , I will pray for you and your wife tonight and next time I see a childless couple I will not even ask

Answer 10

I dont know why anyone would do that. I think its the couples choice if they wanna have kids they can if not then who cares. I agree you shouldnt haft to have kids if you dont want to. Ill go ahead and say it that them people need to get with the program and relize 40% of usa today dont have kids and some dont want them yet. So good luck with it and im sorry but theres nothing you can do.

Answer 11

People shouldn't have children unless they want them. I dont think most people see anything wrong with that. I think it's rude of you to assume that most people have children so we can buy SUV's. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Sounds like you have some serious issues.