My grandmother thinks my son is hers...?

Question

She thinks she can give him candy and cookies for breakfast and our son is only 2. To me this is the time that he needs to be molded and tought right from wrong, but if he throws a fit she gives him candy to shut him up. He doesn't want to listen to me or his father anymore. She also wants to have him come to her house and spend the night every other night... What do I do??

I forgot to add she is not ill and we have talked to her about it several times. I have even cought her calling herself mommie to him

Answer 1

Grandparents can be notorious for doling out treats - they consider it their right as grandparents to spoil their grandchildren. All & all, a few treats from Grandma are just fine.

However, it sounds like a bigger problem in your case, especially since she lives so close. The whole calling herself "mommie" thing is alarming. Have a frank talk with her and include your husband.

Tell her that you love her, and are so glad that she takes such an interest in your son, but you have to put your foot down when it comes to too many treats, undermining your authority and identifiying herself as "mommie". Tell her if she doesn't cool it, you're going to cut short the visits and there won't be any overnight visits at all.

Answer 2

You don't indicate whether she's feeding him candy and cookies because she suffers from something like dementia, or this is just her way of being an over-indulgent grandmother.

Depending on the circumstances, you need to sit down and talk with her. (Unless she truly is suffering from something debilitating like Alzheimer's or dementia.) Explain to her your concerns. Tell her that too many sugars make him hyper and uncontrollable (which it probably does), and ruins his appetite for the foods you do want him to eat. Tell her that this tendency to lavish him with candy and sweets also undermine your efforts to discipline him. Of COURSE he wants to go where the "nice lady" gives him whatever he wants - he's too young to know it's bad for him.

Unfortunately, it's going to be your job to look out for him, even if it makes you the "bad guy" in front of your grandmother and family. If your grandmother can't/won't make the changes to honor your wishes and help you do what's best for your son, then you'll need to severely limit his contact with her. Certainly no visits at mealtimes, or overnight stays that involve a sweet breakfast the next morning.

Good luck - I know it isn't easy, but you'll have to be firm about your standards being honored here. You are the parent now - not her.

Answer 3

Why in God's call could you even think of of listening to this merciless, heartless "grandmother," who of course has some severe themes and is butting in the place she has no good to besides? you're saying you and your spouse sense that this is fantastic for him to have a teddy undergo. ok! end of argument! Do you enable the evil grandmother walk throughout you and inform you what to do? Do you think of you may nicely be a "guy" and tell her to wander away and recommendations her own corporation? My son is 8, all boy, and nonetheless has a filled animal that he's extremely related to. not something in any respect incorrect with that!!! actual men have a young area, too.

Answer 4

I think what you should so is arrange a time to talk to your grandmother with your husband, you should tell your grandmother that you'd like to take charge and take care of your own kid. Explain to her that giving your son candy to calm him down is only going to spoil her and it's not fair that your son should be spoiled by another person. Research shows that the older you get the more you'll like little children, not to mention your great-grandson. So of course your grandmother will want to please your son! Because she likes him so much. Try to understand this and you'll feel much better about the situation.

Good luck!

Answer 5

You really need to set limits and boundaries with her. She has stepped over the line with the "mommy" thing. Tell her in no uncertain terms that you will not tolerate it, and if she does not abide by your terms then you will not bring your child over. I would not let him spend the night for awhile. It probably will be hard to tell her, but stick to it. Limit your visits and be there with them. Your son will adjust. My daughter and her son (20 mos.) live with us right now and I would never cross that line. Be strong and do not give in. If you are over there and she continues the behavior then leave. Good luck and be tough!!!

Answer 6

Your his mother, tell her this. Let her know that you are the one who decides what your son eats and who he stays with. If she refuses to stop interfering you will have to keep her out of your sons life, otherwise she'll just turn him into an obese brat. Two year olds should not have candy for breakfast!

Answer 7

Tell her no. Step in and be his parent. That is the only way. Tell her no cookies and candy and if she does anyway tell her no baby without you and hubby around. And sleep overs every other night???? That is ridiculous. I say if you want to be his parents then do. And do it now!!!

Answer 8

You should sit down and talk to your grandmother let her know how you feel if she still continues then you might want to keep some distance between her and your son or else he'll become spoiled rotten.

Answer 9

well i have a 1 year old daughter and she gets whatever she wants also. but i had to put a stop to it. just step in and be a parent to your son. and let grandmother know where she stands.

Answer 10

expain to her that you don't want your son to develope bad eating habits and that if she can't respect your rules you'll have to be forced to not bring him over to her house, until she can agree to follow your rules if she respects you she will respect your wishes for your son because you only want the best for him. I know it can be frustrating but hope this helps