For Mothers: Why Do You...?

Question

For mothers who have already experienced having a miscarriage or have given to a stillborn baby, how does it feel? How did it feel emotionally, mentally and physically? Do you fear the same thing will happen again when you get pregnant?

Answer 1

I have suffered through a total of 3 miscarriages... and I can only answer this question for myself... we all deal with miscarriages differently...

My first miscarriage was so fast for me that I was not sure what was happening.. I just thought it was a strange period...

The second was more difficult because I had to get a D&C done... it was hard for me emotionally because I was putting too much pressure on me...

The third was not too hard,because I was pregnant with twins and one of the babys survived... today he is 18 months old and we are happy!

I do however every once in a while think about my lost babies... and although I gave birth to one lil boy, I still consider myself mother of 4~

Answer 2

I miscarried during the 4th of July weekend last year. It was, and still is, heartbreaking. I got pregnant again right away, and did nothing but worry throughout my pregnancy, up until the moment my baby was born.

Physically, it was painful for a little while, but the emotional pain stiffled the physical. I bled for 9 days, reminded of my loss every time I went to the bathroom.

I cannot speak on stillbirth, but I'm sure the sorrow of losing a baby you actually held in your arms far outweighs that of a miscarriage.

Answer 3

My daughter on delivered on November 11, 2004 after her heart had stopped beating in utero at 22wks. It absolutely destroyed me. Her father and I had a beautiful funeral service for her but it is by far the hardest thing that I ever had to go thru. She had a chromosomal abnormality which caused her death and even though I knew it was not my fault, I still blamed myself for letting everyone down. I felt like a failure as a mother that I wasn't able to save my child.
I miss her everyday! I got pregnant again in November of 2005 (a week after her 1st birthday) and I spent the entire first 16 weeks terrified until I could have an amnio done and made sure that this precious baby was ok and even after I got the amnio results I was still scared that something was going to go wrong.

My son was born on August 11, 2006 and is healthy as a horse.

Answer 4

I miscarried in October at 12 weeks. I am now 8 weeks pregnant and have been on bedrest for over 2 weeks. They fear that I may have started to miscarry again.

I am very scared that it will happen again. By 12 weeks, one is supposed to be past that scary time. That did not help me. I went to the doctor yesterday and had a good check-up. However, I cannot help but to be doubtful. I had a good check-up at 8 weeks this fall, but miscarried at 12 weeks.

How do I feel physically? I am not sick with vomitting after I eat, but am weak after lying in bed for more than 2 weeks.

It is very scary.

Answer 5

Not only does it depend on your personal state of mind when it happens to you, it also depends on the doctor's who help or don't help you through it. I had really bad pains after finding our I was pregnant, I went to the doctor's who sent me to get the in depth ultrasound, well that doctor looked at my husband and I and said "there is no baby, deal with it" when in actuality he meant that the baby wasn't viable. We took it really hard, and I blamed myself tremendously at first, but my husband turned to me and said "please know that it hurts me too" and that's when I realized that although I felt all the pain/bleeding/etc., his heart was broken too. I became pregnant a couple months later, and my daughter just turned 1. Although I know that the miscarriage happened for a reason unbeknownst to me, it still tugs at my heart to think about that baby and what could have been.

Answer 6

when it first happened to me I was in alot of pain. I was in pain all night then finally my husband took me to the hospital the next day. I was throwing up alot and I was cramping so bad that when my water broke I thought I peed on myself and couldn't hold it and I started bleeding alot.I didn't know how to react eveyone was crying but me because I was in shock even when they put my dead baby on my chest. Then they druged me up and I had to wear two pads cause I was bleeding so much and they put me on heavy medication so I was basically out of it for a week. Then when I started realizing what was going on I was really depressed, but just like when you lose someone you get over it after a while but I think about it sometimes and I get sad and cry. I sometimes wonder what life would be like if my baby was here, but everything happens for a reason.