We have been together for 3 months but dating for 4 months...When we first met he was with another girl but we ended up getting together and they broke up immediately after we met..Anyways I argue with my BF ALL THE TIME!! We bicker- we talk about his ex and what they did together and how it pisses me off etc. I don't know why but I Just cant let it go that he was with her it just disgusts me so bad (she was a really big girl) anyways..I dont know but our relationship is pretty much ruined. In the initial beginning of our relationship after we had first slept together I found out he was still keeping in contact with her which is what I think pissed me off about that situation because I just felt she was so gross and i'm not so shouldn't he be excited to be with me now? Either way we had a trip planned but now were not going cuz I cant get over that he took his ex to mexico also...Do you think we should just end it if we argue all the time??? He now thinks im a psycho B!!!
2006-12-28 09:06:51 · 31 answers · asked by pigsrule25 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
In some ways, you are being psycho. You're insecure about this relationship, and you both are to blamed for that.
1) He broke up with his ex for you. Never a good sign. There's nothing to stop him from doing that to you.
2) He still is in contact with his ex--so? You don't trust 100%, do you? If you did, this wouldn't bother you.
3) His past being the subject of many arguments--why? You're with him now, not her. It doesn't matter that she went to Mexico with him on a vacation. HE IS WITH YOU FOR A REASON! You have to come to peace with his past sooner or later, whether it's now or after you break up.
I suggest you BOTH sitting down and being honest with each other and about the insecurities and other issues you both have. If you want this to work, you BOTH have to work on this. You have to get over your relationship insecurity and immaturity, and he has to get over his side (I am 100% sure there's more to this story).
Do NOT take the role of innocent victim though. You both have room to grow and learn.
2006-12-28 09:11:45 · answer #1 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, there is too much drama in there for me.
Just break up and move on. You will never be able to get the picture of his ex out of your head- you know why? Cause you think about it all the time.
Bickering is about getting the last word in-control-and being childish and selfish- wouldn't you rather be happy than right all the time?
Also, it takes 2 to argue. If you stop, and just smile and stay quiet.- he won't be able to continue. It takes discipline and being grown up, and loving him enough to let him have the last word, even if he is completely stupid. You have to pick your battles not fight over every little thing.
No where in your question did you say you love him or he loves you-just that you are together, pissed, and having sex.
By the way, looks are skin-deep. She may be "gross" on the outside, unselfish and loving on the inside. It is rather shallow of you, don't you think, to be so hung-up on someone's looks-yours or hers-sounds like you are having troubles, and want it to be her fault..
Cut your losses and go for knowing someone a little longer before you throw your knickers in the air. You get sperm in you and your common sense leaves the premises.
Here is a good question for you: If this person was a girl- and you were best buds, but not sleeping together -would you put up with this relationship for more than 10 seconds? Probably not. Best advice:Get with a man who is a best friend like a woman-would be, FIRST and hot-hot-hot to you ALSO.
AND stop comparing yourself to other people. You will always find others who are better or worse- who cares?
2006-12-28 17:27:33 · answer #2 · answered by Lottie W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All that arguing in such a small span of time is your sign that this is not the right guy. Its really none of your business if his ex was big and you cant expect that a guy isn't going to have a past. Freaking out about going to Mexico because he's been there with her is immature. Everybody has a past. The way this whole relationship started is no good. He cheated on her and he will probably give you the same respect moving forward. I think its time to cut your losses and move on.
2006-12-28 17:16:00 · answer #3 · answered by JustMe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LOL sorry had to laugh I went through the same thing except I been with my bf for almost 3 years and you know what aint sh*it changed! Things will be smooth for a couple days at a time and then things go sour... I caught him in all kinds of lies and talking to his ex behind my back amongst many other things (no he didnt cheat with his di*k just his heart... which is almost worse)! Funny thing is now he treats me as if Im the one that did disloyal things! Hmmm must be his paranoia... All I know is if things dont change Im not going to put up with it much longer because it is unhealthy...Considering I gave him another chance when most girls would have kicked his a** to the curb! Ths sh*t we do for love! You're not psycho you are just insecure and jealous... Its ok babe Im the same way! We all have crazy quirks and flaws... gives us something to work on to better improve ourselves! I wasnt that way till i met my bf and he put me in that position... but I took it to the next level... he just led the way! Im just going to share similar experience because if I tell you what you should do that would make me a hypochrite for not following my own advise! But its easier to tell someone what to do when your on the outside looking in rather then being involved personally! Do what you think is best, if things dont work out then I guess it wasnt meant to be! Sux huh?
2006-12-28 17:15:47 · answer #4 · answered by Nikki 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You already slept with him?
OMG!!
You really need to slow down a little, stop jumping into bed, and give yourself a chance to really fall in love, not just fall into the sack.
On the other hand, if you are arguing, at least there is communication between the two of you, some couples don't even have that.
Good luck to ya!!
2006-12-28 17:11:36 · answer #5 · answered by not4u2c_yet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow you are really caught up on outer beauty. You know maybe he liked her for the person she is, not what she looks like. If you can't let go of the fact that he was with this girl then I think you really should end it.It is a waste of yours and his life time to bicker and fight. Honestly I'm suprised he hasn't ended it.You should just call it quits and try to work on not being so shallow.
God Bless!
2006-12-28 17:17:40 · answer #6 · answered by The OTHER Boelyn Chic 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you cant get over the ex, then you need to move on. You have got to learn that the past is the past and to let it go. It had nothing to do with. You are with him now and should be happy with that. I would say that you need to end this and both of you need more time to grow up.
2006-12-28 17:36:01 · answer #7 · answered by WENDY G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because his x girlfriend is big that doesn,t mean anything its a lot of guy like big women.thats not whats wrong here.why are you worried about his x girlfriend if thats over leave the past in the past.it seem you are fusing over stupid stuff either you want to be with this man are not.you say you and he is at it 24/7 maybe you need to move on because you are dragging his spirit down with the past.let it go are you going to lose your man on some bull crap good luck to you p.s respect the big girl because where you want someone else will.
2006-12-28 17:15:24 · answer #8 · answered by annjilena 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
chick you really need to grow up.. So what if he dated a Big girl, so what he keeps in touch with her.. My bf keeps in touch with a chick he had a thing with a long time ago, If u can't let go of the fact that ur not the only girl he has ever dated or went on a trip with u need to let him go where he can find somone that will treat him right..
2006-12-28 17:10:22 · answer #9 · answered by pruittsgurl_01 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
3 months and arguing, end it. It started in a bad way and from the sounds of it is still going bad. My guess if you stay with him it will be bad. Get the picture. What is bad can always get worse.
2006-12-28 17:12:45 · answer #10 · answered by a h 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋