Catholic Marriage The cans and can nots?

Question

So I have posted other questions regarding catholic weddings and am happy to announce that I found a one day pre cana! Now before I choose my church does anyone know that do and dont of the catholic churches marriages? Meaning: Fiance and I have lived together for several years, is this permitted by the church? And we have had premarital sex is this permitted AND he has a child from another relationship.. is this permitted? I dont want to go through finding a catholic church and going through pre cana if they are just going to tell us that we can not get married in there church because of our life choices is all. Any help will do
THANKS!

Answer 1

I'm a Roman Catholic.
Our Church forbids living together if the couples aren't married yet.
Our Church forbids premarital sex.
If the guy has a child from his previous relationship, as long as he didn't get married previously, or as long as he isn't married anymore LEGALLY, it is okay to be married to him.
In Roman Catholic weddings, the couple must go to confession first before getting married. You cannot get married without going to confession. That is when you tell the priest all your sins so you can be cleansed. That is the only part where you tell the priest your sins, during a confession. Apart from that, you are not obliged to tell anyone about your sins.

Answer 2

It doesn't sound like you're a practicing Catholic. You really should reconsider why you want to get married in the Catholic Church. While living together before you're married is not good, what's an even bigger problem, as far as the Church is concerned, is if you're even attempting to practice your faith and if you will raise any children you have as Catholics. It's pretty hard to raise a child Catholic if you're barely Catholic yourself.

You shouldn't just "choose a church" like you would choose colors for your bridesmaid dresses. Getting married in the Catholic Church is more than just having a wedding in a pretty setting. Marriage is a sacrament in the Church and having a Catholic marriage places many obligations on you - obligations that go far beyond a pre-cana program.

Basically you need to be a practicing Catholic. That means conforming your "life choices" to the teachings of Christ and the Church. If you're not at that point yet then you should not get married in the Catholic Church. Doing so would be pretty dishonest. Find another church or have a secular ceremony. There are many people who will marry you without regards to your religious beliefs or sexual activity.

Answer 3

Of course living together is not permitted, however the Catholic Church is supposed to be forgiving. Therefore, I wouldn't mention it , but don't lie about it either. I had a relative who was honest & they still married her.

As far as sex, same as above, don't tell unless you have to, but don't lie.

A child should not be a problem, as the Church frowns on abortion.

The one problem you might have is that the churches usually won't marry you if you are not a registered parishoner there. They can be sticklers sometimes & want six months or more woth of envelopes in the basket each week.

My one question is why do you want a Catholic Wedding?

Do either of you go to Church every week? If not why not just get married by a judge? You shouldn't do this to make your parents or in-laws or grandparents happy. If you don't practise the religion reguarly why get married in it?

Answer 4

Each Catholic Church may differ...some are more strict than others. I would ask these questions of the priests and the church itself. Most churches have a wedding coordinator that you work with. I think all of that would be okay. My sister was married in a Catholic Church -- she lived with her boyfriend for a couple of years prior to her wedding. I'm not sure about the child from another relationship. I don't think it matters, but you'll have to ask.

Answer 5

it;s kinds of a dont ask don't tell policy. You'll be fine. I lived with my husband for 2 years before we got married and I had a child from a previous relationship who was 7 when we got married. I had no problems. There was a differeny pre-cana we had to attend though than other couples and it was mostly older divorced people. We were the only two in our twenties who had never been married. Kind of weird.

Answer 6

Here's a novel idea....
Try talking to the priest at the church and explain your situation!
We had a great priest, and he was cool with us living together, we didn't have to go through a lot of junk, other than my hubby getting confirmed to get married in a catholic wedding in a church.

Answer 7

Well, it doesn't sound as though you are a practicing Catholic living the tenets of the church, so why are you getting married in a Catholic church? You also don't sound as though you have a "home" parish and priest, so are you just choosing one out of thin air?
I am a Catholic who married a Catholic with three priests officiating. It was my home church, with my home church priest, who just happened to be my husband's brother. My husband had moved to my home city, so it was his home parish as well. We did pre-marital counselling, and knew what was expected of us entering a marriage as we were both raised Catholic, not just cradle catholics or c&e (Christmas and Easter) catholics.
I think before you get going any further you better discuss things with your man - are you both willing to raise your children Catholic, are you going to be regular parishioners, or are you just getting married in a church which happens to be Catholic?
If you are indeed serious, you have a lot of information you are lacking, which can be gotten from a local parish priest, presumably of the church in which you are planning to be married. Whatever you choose, be honest with the priest - he is there to counsel and to help, come what may. He has heard it all, believe me....

Answer 8

You are not supposed to live together before getting married, and you aren't supposed to be having premarital sex. These are sins that you are committing together. The daughter one, might be something he would be expected to repent for.

It is possible that the priest will refuse to the wedding after you go through precana. Unlikely, but possible. Try to find an easy going priest, or one that you already know.

Also, you don't have to tell him that you're living together and having sex.

Answer 9

in the event that they have 2 witnesses and the priest, the marriage isn't secret, is inner maximum. the actual witness of a marriage is God himself, that´s why priest could be there. i think of is an extremely solid thought, in the event that they are mature adequate, marrying and celebrate with the relatives their first anniversary. may well be a captivating ceremony simply by fact they gained't could desire to care approximately party and the rest than giving to a minimum of one yet another by way of God´s eye. Andn in a single twelve months the relatives will see that they actually meant to a minimum of one yet another, no be counted distance. I dont understand what canon regulation says approximately this

Answer 10

I don't understand why you're finding a Catholic church. If you are Catholic you would know that breathing air is a sin. If a church won't marry you because of your "life choices", how are you going to be happy attending that church. I left the Catholic church because they're so judgmental and only One Person has that power.