Other Fs Only Please; Re: Negotiated Arrangement Relationships?

Question

I asked this Q yesterday and was so surprised to get back As saying it was not understood so I will be more precise: Have you considered, or have you actually, entered into a negotiated intimate arrangement relationship? I mean choosing a friend with benefits that is understood to be continuing dating (and sleeping together) for a while and getting along well with great, caring sex but lusting chemistry is avoided. If so, how did they turn out for you. (I am wondering if I have just been damn lucky in my arrangements.)

Answer 1

Yes, I have had arrangements like you describe. They were wonderful for what they were, and kept me from making any really stupid decisions (like going to bars to pick someone up during a dry spell, etc.). One partner and I slpet together casually for almost 6 years, on and off. In the times between serious partnerships, he was a Godsend. He and I are still very close, and perhaps will be agin in that way in the near future. The issue of settling into marriage has been discussed, as we are both getting older and lonelier. I happen to be dating a commitment-phobe, so it just goes to show!

Answer 2

My friends with benefits arrangements have always started because the guy was really into me and wanted to be a couple but I didn't. Recently I lost one because I think it got to be too much for him to know that I might be with others. I still have one which is my longest going on 9 yrs now. He too is still waiting in hopes that one day I will wake up and realize that I love him. Because of that things have been kind of going down hill. We made an arrangement but he keeps messing it up. I guess he cant help it, he has feelings involved in this.