He broke up with me 2 weeks ago during his finals week. He said it's stressful and our relationship is partly responsible for that.He is that kind of person that keeps things to himself even if something is bothering him. He never tells me about bad stuff going on in his life to keep his dignity or something. We broke up 3 times in a year b/c of similar reasons. Basically he's a big kid and doesnt know how to handle stress and me only adding stress by wanting attention(i believe every girl wants that). Everytime i chased him back so this time i decided to cut off contact and wait for him to chase me. But now i found out this, i all of a sudden dont know what to do. Although he likes to have his "tough-man" image, he's actually very fragile.maybe some comforting words from me would be warm to hear?Should i?but then i'll totally mess up the not talking for a month or 2 plan which i already stick to for 2 weeks.Would he think i'm chasing him again?i dont want him to think that.Pls help!
2006-12-28 08:24:37 · 14 answers · asked by little asian gal in cresent city 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm his 1st gf and he's definitely not a ladies' man so i'm worried he'll get other girls other than he doesnt want a relationship right now. Please teach me something to make him come back on his own. I know he loves me but he's also very immature(21,senior in college). We are long distance but we've been doing that for a year.
2006-12-28 08:26:57 · update #1
sorry, i'm not worried he'll get other girls.
2006-12-28 08:33:21 · update #2
NRT gave the best advice - I think you should use hers.
Good Luck!!!
2006-12-28 08:32:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look first of all head games are NOT the way to go about a relationship. And that goes for both of you. You have been dating for a while now and it seems that you should be beyond that. And to be pefectly honest a mature relationship should not devolve into head games at any point.
If you think that he would benefit from hearing a kind word from you then you should contact him and offer to help him study, and be hassle free. Because relationships based on high-drama which is what it appears you have WILL NOT WORK if he can't handle the stress that comes with it.
You should drop the game and offer to help him, be on his side and if he fails you need to be there to help him pick up the pieces, and be his cheerleader even if he is running off the edge of a cliff.
At least that is what you should do in this situation, let him know that you are there for him and that you still have feelings for him, but that your relationship has to change if it is going to work in the long run.
Most men are under a tremendous amount of social pressure to be "the tough guy" in a world where pure masculinism and Machismo are frowned upon. Most men are fare more fragile than they appear to be, at least we are with those we care about.
Don't waste your time or his playing hard to get, your starting to get into serious relationship issues, the time for playing is over, you aren't a little girl anymore, it is time to be the woman he needs. That is of course assuming he still has feelings for you.
You need to find out and realize that college is serious stuff, and in your relationship effort and support need to flow both ways if your going to make it as a couple.
Good luck and I hope this helps.
2006-12-28 08:32:24 · answer #2 · answered by Teclis98 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all. qhit playing games. He needs space. Give it to him. Crowding him will only make him push against you harder. It sounds as if you think you knwo that is better for him than he knows himself. You aren't gonna wanna hear thism, but you have a controll issue. It is probably the root of some other type of imbalance in your life that you are trying to make up for. but he can not appreciate your help right now because he doesn't see the need for it. your relationship has an unstable history. Give things some time to smooth over. Also. take some time to focus on how you can improve for you instead of what to do to make him want you. You are valuable and needed at your own right. Not at someone elses.
2006-12-28 08:35:32 · answer #3 · answered by beautyzhername 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, this guy isn't worth chasing. Someone who fails out of college isn't exactly the cream of the crop. I mean, failing a class or two in high school is one thing, but failing classes that you PAID for is just dumb and a huge waste of money. Not only do you not get credits, but you have to pay for the same class again!!
I also see that you have broken up several times......you deserve to be with someone who you just can't live without, and who feels the same way about you. Playing hard to get is a game, and who needs games in a mature relationship. If you like someone, tell him. It's that simple. Then you spend more time together and less time playing pointless games.
I hope everything works out for you. You deserve a great guy-not one who flunks out of college, is fragile, and who doesn't know what he wants!
2006-12-28 08:31:38 · answer #4 · answered by April 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know kiddo. Sounds like you’re heading towards a destructive relationship. Look at how many times you two have broken up. Sounds like you’re over bearing and controlling. ( not trying to be jerk)
Maybe he doesn’t want to be with you, but you keep forcing yourself onto him and he gives in. Nothing good is going to come out of this relationship. If it was a good relationship he would talk to you and it doesn’t have anything to do with being a tuff guy or anything like that.
My suggestion to you is. Move on… and maybe sit back and take a look at yourself. Really, I’m not trying to be a jerk. But from what you wrote I see some major problems…
Best of luck to you.
2006-12-28 08:39:18 · answer #5 · answered by asgrafxx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really loved him, you would play this hard to get bull-isht with him. I'm guessing you are old enough since he's in college. If he needs a friend, then you should go to him. Forget the whole 'title' of being his girl and just be there. If he doesn't want to get back together, at least you were there and now you don't have to regret anything.
2006-12-28 08:29:00 · answer #6 · answered by NRT 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get a existence! hit upon a pastime or something! the guy does not choose for you! you ought to pass on and supply up courting little boys. If something, you courting different adult men will make him jealous.....If it does not, then he does not choose for you. in simple terms pass on the two way. in simple terms think of approximately it, you adult men broke up and have been given back collectively three times???? do no longer you think of this courting is particular to no longer have a destiny?
2016-10-06 03:23:59 · answer #7 · answered by huenke 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't you think that it is time to look for a successful boyfriend and chase away the failing one.
2006-12-28 08:27:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well..dont chase him back..but call him or leave a note to him that u came to know about his situation and u can help if he needs any help from u ..
he will come back to ask for help...
2006-12-28 08:27:23 · answer #9 · answered by Inquistive_man 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are chasing him, while deciding to cut things off
I think he's gonna run
2006-12-28 08:29:40 · answer #10 · answered by kurticus1024 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋